other emotions: sadness, hurt, helplessness & aloneness

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sadness

Never Saw Daddy Cry or Pray    1

I prayed with a woman several times regarding her abusive father and she had already released her anger toward him, but on the 17th anniversary of his death she felt a lot of sadness for him. She said she felt that she needed to tell him she was sorry, too, and never got to do so; he died before she could tell him. Her father was an extremely abusive alcoholic who singled her out for abuse because she tried to protect her mother from him and ended up being abused herself. In his last years he developed Alzheimers and began losing his mind, getting lost, and seeing people who didn't exist. She quit her job to help take care of him and she prayed for her daddy that he would get right with God before he died (such amazing love for an abusive father). One day he had a clear mind and as she lovingly ministered to his needs he began crying and told her that he was sorry for all the mean things he did to her. As he cried he told her that he wanted to ask God for forgiveness and she told him that he needed to talk to the Lord, so he cried out to the Lord and begged for God's forgiveness. She had never seen her daddy cry or pray and was deeply touched by his tearful confession, but after his prayer he immediately went into a coma and then died two days later; she never got to tell him that she was sorry for holding such resentment and anger toward him. 


This woman was carrying deep sorrow and sadness because she had never had a close relationship with her daddy, she felt sad that he was so disabled by Alzheimers, and she was sad that she never got to tell him that she was sorry. We made a list of 13 reasons for her sadness and then she prayed and gave her sadness to the Lord. After her prayer, I prayed for her and asked the Lord what He wanted her to know. She said that her daddy was at peace, God answered her prayer, he knew that his time had come, and God put her there that morning so she could see that he turned to Him before he passed away into eternity. I asked her how she felt and she said, "Glad. He got right with God. I never saw daddy cry or pray but he cried out and asked God to forgive him. If God forgave him then I knew that I needed to, also." I asked her how she felt and she said she felt "relieved and calm." Isn't God wonderful to answer this woman's prayers for her abusive father? He gave her dad clarity of mind just before he died so that he had one last chance to get right with Him; and she said that she knows her daddy forgives her and they will one day enjoy the closeness that they never had in this life. And He also took her sadness from her and replaced it with His awesome, awesome peace! How can we be quiet about a God like that? Let's share with everyone what a God we have! "May the Lord of Peace, Himself, continually grant you His peace, in all circumstances" (2 Peter 3:16). 



HEALING FROM SADNESS      2

A young woman was traumatized as she held the hand of a close friend as she died from cancer. The friend left behind her husband and two young children, and she was uncertain about her salvation and was terrified about dying. Several months later she shared this experience with a friend who offered to pray with her about her grief and sadness. They asked her what she missed most about the woman who had died and she burst out in tears and shared her grief. Her friend made a list of these items and then led her in a prayer, and gave them to the Lord. 


After the prayer her friend asked her how she felt and she burst out in tears again saying she still felt badly. The friend asked her what thoughts were connected to her feelings and she said, “The thought that her children are going to have grow up without their mother; the thought that her husband is going to have to raise the children all alone; and the thought that she will not get to see her children grow up.” These thoughts were all symptomatic of feelings of sadness, so the friend suggested that they pray again and give her sadness to the Lord. They bowed their heads as the friend led her in another prayer, telling the Lord what made her feel sad and then giving her sadness to Him and asking Him to carry her sadness for her. When they finished praying the friend asked her, “How do you feel now?” This time she said, “I feel a lot better. The strong emotions I felt before are gone and I feel calm now.”

A week later she confirmed that she still felt peaceful and calm, and then a year later she told her friend that she had participated in a memorial service for the deceased woman and she was perfectly calm. She was even able to sing a song at the service and felt perfectly calm. The Lord removed both her grief and her sadness so that reminders of the trauma did not cause her any more difficulties. “Surely, He was born our griefs and carried out sorrows” (Isaiah 53:3). 



My Heart is Fuzzy with Joy     3

I saw a woman who had a history of alcohol abuse and depression and had experienced a great deal of trauma, abuse, and loss in her life time. She had been sober for three months but was fighting the urge to drink after a recent relationship break-up. In order to begin the ministry process I asked her what was the most traumatic loss she had experienced. To my surprise she told me that the death of her father prior to her birth was the greatest loss for her and created the greatest emotional pain for her. It is not uncommon for individuals to grow up without a parent like this, but it is surprising to have someone say it was their greatest loss. 


I asked this woman how she felt when she thought about her biological father whom she had never met, and she told me she felt lonely and sad. She said she felt sad because she never got to know him, he was murdered and his murderer was never convicted, and she wished that she knew the truth about his murderer. She also said that she was sad because she believes her life would have been very different if she had grown up with him because she always felt alone and had to fight for herself with no one to defend her or protect her. I had never seen someone who was so emotional about the loss of someone prior to their birth but I led her in a prayer to tell the Lord why she was so sad about the loss of her father and to give her sadness to Him. After we prayed I asked her how she felt and she said, "Sad but good." She said she felt better but still felt some sadness because she did not know the truth about the death of her father. I led her in another prayer saying, "Lord, it makes me sad that I do not know how my father died. But Lord, I am tired of carrying this sadness so right now I choose to give it to you and ask You to carry it for me. In Jesus' name I pray." I then prayed and asked the Lord to carry her sadness for her and replace it with His peace. I also asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted her to know. Immediately, she opened her eyes and said, "Let it go; put it in His hands." I asked her how she felt and she said she felt "blank." Then she said, "I felt a lot of pressure lifted off. My heart is not heavy like it was! I feel peace. That's awesome!" I asked her if there was any more sadness or any negative feelings and she said, "It's all good; it's all clear. No more sadness; I feel happy! I'm smiling. There's no more sadness in my heart anymore! That's awesome! Wow! I've prayed and prayed for relief and never got any till now. My heart is fuzzy with joy! It's like God just took the heaviness off my head and just pulled it off! I can feel the Holy Spirit all over me; look at the hair on my arm; it's standing up! Wow!" 


What an amazing thing it is to witness such powerful demonstrations of healing prayer and to see the Lord set captives free! Each time I witness such experiences it makes me more excited about Jesus and I feel full of the Holy Spirit also. This is just the beginning of the journey to freedom for this woman but it proved to her that the Lord can do for her what no counselor, psychiatrist or medications can do; He can give her His peace and set her free from emotional bondage. The Lord is, indeed, awesome and wants us all to experience His perfect peace! 



Woman Set Free From Fear of Dying     4

A woman came to me who had received much healing previously but who had become very fearful of dying and leaving her three children motherless. She was healthy and had no known medical problems but knew a 13 year old girl who had died a few weeks earlier, and this triggered off obsessive thoughts about dying and not being able to see her children grow up. I asked her if she knew anyone else who had died early like this and she said that she lost five close relatives as a child and that she felt some sadness about their losses. 


When she was 15 years old her father died, also, so she grew up without him and she felt sad that her children never met him. We prayed about her sadness over these losses and she gave them to the Lord and got rid of them. Since she was feeling fearful I had difficulty deciding whether I needed to pray about her fear or sadness. She said that she first felt this fear when her kids were removed from her one time by DHS when she was in a hospital. She panicked when she didn't know where they were taken and she was very fearful that something terrible was going to happen to them and they would be scarred and emotionally damaged. I prayed about this fear that something terrible was going to happen and she had no thoughts come to her mind, but she did feel more calm. She then said, "It would be terrible if I died young when my kids are so young. I don't want to miss out on seeing them grow up and see them have families of their own." It made her very sad to think about dying young and leaving her children behind so I decided to pray about her sadness. I led her in a prayer saying, "Lord, it makes me sad to think about dying young and leaving my kids without a mother. It makes me sad to think about missing out on seeing them grow up and raising their own families. But Lord, I'm tired of feeling this sadness so right now I choose to give it to You and I ask You to take my sadness from me." After we finished praying this time, she said that she felt "Okay." She said she that she felt no more sadness or fear, and she felt calm.


I thought that her primary emotion was fear but when she did not respond to praying about her fear, then I looked for another emotion and prayed about her sadness. It worked; she left smiling and feeling peaceful and calm. Sometimes I run into cases that puzzle me but as I continue praying the Lord shows me what to do and sets people free. I'm still learning! We have to discern whether we are dealing with a belief-based emotion like fear, or a fact-based emotion like sadness. When we have bad feelings we either need to give them to the Lord to carry, or we need to pray for truth. All of our negative feelings can be resolved using these two prayer principles, and when we pray for the right emotion and in the right way, He sets people free! 



Sadness about Tragic Accident Released    5

(Contributed by Nicole Mann from Nashville, TN) The last night of the revival I had the privilege to pray with a woman whose granddaughter was in a tragic car accident 11 years ago and at the age of 3 was left paralyzed from the neck down. The driver in the car was her biological mother. Two weeks after the accident, the child’s mother just left, abandoning her completely. The granddaughter lived with her father for a while, but he could not provide and care for her how she needed to be, so Social Services stepped in and took this child away from her father and placed her in a medical facility. This woman was experiencing pain, but unsure of what emotion she was carrying. She just knew she had a “weight and heaviness” on her chest and explained she felt very sorry for her granddaughter. I asked her to tell me more about what she felt sorry about. She listed 3 things. 1)not being able to bring her home 2)not being able to have legal people help her get her back home 3) she felt sad that her granddaughter could not see her friends. I lead her in a prayer in which she gave the above sadness to the Lord and asked Him to carry it and replace it with His peace. I asked the Lord if there was any Truth that He wanted her to know. She said “She’ll be back with me.”


I asked her what she felt when she thought of her granddaughter and she still felt sadness. She listed 4 more things that made her sad and she gave that as well to the Lord as I lead her through prayer. I asked her how she felt and she said with a huge smile “Confident! Confident that she will be cared for!” She then explained that she felt lighter with each prayer. I asked her if she had anymore sadness when she thinks of her granddaughter. She said "yes". We began to make a list, but as she was making the list she realized she was angry with the driver, her biological mother for just abandoning her completely. We made a list of 8 resentments that she had towards her biological mother and gave those resentments to the Lord and asked Him to carry them and to replace those resentments with His Peace. I asked her how she felt and she said there was still anger there and listed one last thing. We gave that resentment to the Lord and asked Him again to carry it and replace it with His Peace. Before I even had a chance to ask her how she felt when she thinks of her granddaughter, she looked up at me with the biggest smile and took a deep breath in saying “The anger has lifted! I feel a WHOOOOLE LOT BETTER!” And began laughing! “It’s in God’s hands and He’ll take care of EVERYTHING!” I asked her if she had any negative feelings at all when she thought of her granddaughter and she said she still had some sadness. 


We began to list that she was sad that her granddaughter was not able to move her arms and legs, that she could not breathe on her own, and that she could not feed herself. She listed 4 more things she was sad about. We prayed and asked the Lord to carry all the sadness that she just listed before the Lord and for Him to carry it and replace it with His Peace because she was tired of carrying it. I then asked the Lord if there was any Truth that He wanted her to know. With a big smile, she said, “I know that the next time I see her, I will be alright now. I’ve held everything inside of me for soooo long and it’s all coming out! I feel REAL good now” And she chuckled. “I’ve needed to get this out for a REAL LONG TIME! But it’s funny, I’ve TRIED to get it out with 2 different pastors at two separate times…but I’ve never felt like THIS before!” She laughed some more… “I’m just SO HAPPY NOW!” It was, indeed, a tragic accident that happened to this innocent child at such a young age, and this is truly sad. But the Lord does not want us to be stuck in our sadness…He will give us HOPE and PEACE in EVERY circumstance…EVERY TIME…as we simply COME to Him! What an awesome God we have!!! 



Anger and Sadness Vanish Suddenly    6

I met with a man who had a lot of anger toward his stepmother, so we made up a list of his resentments toward her, which he took home to pray about. He returned the following week and said that he prayed and tried to release it but it didn't work. He said, "I guess I just don't have enough faith." I often hear people say that these answers to prayer are the result of my faith, but it is not due to my faith. When anger does not completely go away it usually means that the person missed some things, but I suspected that this man also need to go to an earlier source of his anger. 


From his history I thought that he probably needed to resolve some anger toward his father although he said he didn't feel any anger toward him. As we talked some more about his stepmother he recalled an incident in his childhood when his father placed his toes in some small "thumb cuffs" one time to keep him from getting out of his bed. This memory stirred up some anger toward his father, then he began remembering other resentments he had toward his father. Soon he identified 14 resentments toward his dad and then he prayed and gave them to the Lord. Afterwards, he was still angry and we identified three more resentments. We prayed again and he gave his anger to the Lord. This time when I asked him how he felt he said, "Nothing; neutral. I have no anger." His anger toward his father was completely gone! 


When he returned the following week he said that he had been spending time with his father and felt no more anger toward him; they were getting along well. He was amazed and how much better he felt and he said that he felt very little anger toward his stepmother since he released his anger toward his father. I encouraged him to talk more about his stepmother and try to get rid of all of his anger so he identified six resentments he had toward her, then he prayed and gave these to the Lord. Immediately afterwards he said that his anger toward her was completely gone and he just felt some sadness that he had to grow up with a stepmother who was so mean to him, and he was sad that he was sent off to six different institutions because of his stepmother. He rated this sadness as a 7 on a 10-point scale then we prayed and he gave his sadness to the Lord. Immediately after this prayer he said, "As soon as I said 'Amen' I relaxed. I feel no sadness now." Five minutes earlier he rated his sadness as a 7 and then it suddenly dropped to a level 0 after we prayed. I asked him what he thought about this and he smiled and said, "That's really neat!" I agreed that it is "neat." 


It is amazing to see how the Lord takes our negative feelings from us and instantly replaces them with His peace. What a miracle it is to see the Lord is able to take our anger, grief, and sadness from us and to replace them with His peace so that we experience love, joy, and peace in our lives. Jesus said, "My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give unto you." 



Anticipatory Grief Replaced with 100% Peace     7

Sometimes people become anxious and depressed about the prospect of losing someone they love. I prayed with a woman about some grief and anger she had and she felt a lot better but when I asked her how she would rate her depression on a 10-point scale she rated it a 4. When I asked her what she was depressed about she told me that she missed her mother who had come for a visit and she was worried about her health. Her mother has multiple health problems, lost 20 pounds in about a month, and she wasn't eating right and it upset her to think about losing her since she had already lost her father, grandfather, and grandmother and her mother was the only close person to her that was still alive. Even though her mother was still alive she was worried about losing her and felt sad to contemplate losing her. Anticipatory grief is a form of sadness; the person becomes sad when they think about what life will be like without the loved one.


I asked this woman what made her sad in thinking about losing her mother and what she would miss the most about her. She said that her mother was her best friend and she would miss being able to call her, talk to her, hear her laughter, go visit her, feel her love and affection, and spend time with her. It also made her sad that her mother lived alone and to think that she could die and no one would know it. We made a list of 12 things that made her sad and then she prayed and asked God to take her sadness from her and carry it for her. I asked the Lord what He wanted her to know and she said, "He's going to be there with me when the day comes. Everything will be okay. I need to learn to give my burdens to Him." After this I asked her how she felt when she thought about losing her mother. She said, "I'm ok with it. I'm not sad anymore." I asked her what emotion she felt and she said, "Peace." I asked her to rate her depression again on a 10-point scale and she rated it a 1. She was smiling as she left and she said, "I look forward to these visits."


It's wonderful to see how the Lord wants to take all of our burdens and carry them for us. Don't settle for being better; give all your negative emotions to the Lord until your depression, or other negative feelings, are completely gone and you experience the peace of God that passes all comprehension. The Lord wants you to have 100% peace. 



Set Free from Overwhelming Sadness and Grief     8

A woman came to me who had overwhelming feelings of sadness and depression. She was raised in church and she said that she had a wonderful husband who still went to church and was her "soul mate" but she had been depressed for about ten years and had quit going. She had a child who was born with a serious medical condition and she had to take him frequently to doctors and hospitals for surgeries and she witnessed him suffer through these treatments for over ten years. It left her exhausted and sad to deal with these daily traumas but in addition she met numerous other families in the hospitals who had children with similar problems, and several of these children whom they had befriended died. This left her with a great deal of grief and sadness. 


Additionally, in the last ten years she also lost several close relatives, including her grandmother who was her spiritual "Rock." I explained to this woman that 87% of all depression is rooted in loss and that much of her depression was related to these losses and to the sadness that she experienced in watching her child suffer so much. I also shared with her how she could release this sadness and grief through prayer, and she was very receptive to this and willing to try it. She said that the greatest grief she felt was over the loss of her grandmother and she said she would like to get rid of it.


I encouraged her to talk about what she missed about her grandmother and she told me how she was such a source of strength and encouragement to her. The grandmother was very loving to this woman, took her to church with her, listened to her, comforted her, fed her soup and nursed her when she was sick, and made her feel loved and special. This woman said she missed her grandmother's love and affection, her smile, her voice, her praise, her cooking, and even the smell of her nightgown. She also missed cooking with her, cleaning the house with her, working in the garden with her, and sitting on her porch talking. She smiled with joy as she talked about her grandmother and listed 32 things she missed about her. I asked this woman if I could lead her in a prayer to give these feelings to the Lord and she consented. However, when I began to lead her in a prayer to tell the Lord these things she missed, she began crying heavily and could not talk, so I said the prayer and she nodded her head in agreement with each statement. After telling the Lord what she missed about her grandmother she prayed, "Lord, I'm tired of carrying this grief and sadness, so right now I choose to give it all to you and ask you to please take it from me and carry it for me." When we finished praying I asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted her to know. "I know she's at peace; she's in a better place. I was truly blessed to have her in my life." I asked her how she felt now and she said she felt better but still had some sadness. 


She identified three reasons for her sadness and gave them to the Lord. I asked the Lord, again, if there was anything that He wanted her to know. After a brief pause she said, "It will be Okay. He loves me and will never leave me." I asked her how she felt now and she said, "I do feel better; I feel excited about sharing these memories with my children." When this woman left she was exhausted but at peace and smiling. She had tried to be strong for family and held all her emotions inside, and had never talked with anyone about her feelings about losing her grandmother and about other losses. 


After carrying these overwhelming feelings of sadness and grief for ten years she was deeply depressed, but the Lord took some grief from her when she openly offered it to Him. A lot of good Christians are overwhelmed with feelings of grief, anger, and shame because they do not know how to give them to the Lord. We cannot afford to carry these burdens alone; we must learn to cast all our cares upon Him and let Him carry them for us, so that He can restore to us the "joy of our salvation." 



Sadness after Suicide Released     9

An elderly lady came to me and told me that her doctor said that she was depressed. Two days earlier she had a relative who shot herself in the head and she was still upset about it. The doctor told her that she needed to be on an antidepressant even though she had just lost her relative the day before and she was experiencing normal feelings of grief. I asked her if she was depressed and she said that she felt much better that day because her friends at church had prayed for her. She was concerned about whether this woman had gone to heaven or not but she was not very close to her so she really didn't miss her.


I asked this woman if she felt any sadness and she said she did. She rated it as a 2 on a 10-point scale. We talked about her sadness and she said that it was sad to see this woman pass away because she was such a wonderful musician, pianist, and song writer. It was also sad to her because the lady was so unhappy and distraught about something that she shot herself. She identified four reasons for her sadness and I led her in a prayer to give her sadness to the Lord and ask Him to take it from her. When she was finished I asked her how she felt. She said, "I feel peaceful; it just lifted from me." She said she felt no more sadness. We talked about the possible adverse side effects of the antidepressant that she had taken for one day and she said, "I didn't want to take those pills anyway. I'm just going to throw them away." Many doctors are quick to place people on pills and to tell their patients that they are depressed, as if they can know their feelings better than the patients. This doctor didn't even inform this woman of the many possible adverse side effects of her medications and the pharmacy did even not provide her a list of the potential side effects which can include depression, suicidality, insomnia, agitation and hallucinations. Furthermore, diagnosing someone as depressed who has no history of depression and who just lost a loved one is completely inappropriate. Dr. Peter Breggin, in his book "Medication Madness", documents approximately 50 cases of individuals who innocently took mind-altering medications and became suicidal or violent as a result. This does not happen to everyone who takes these medications but it happens far more often than most doctors admit. Christians need to realize that their emotional struggles are not the result of a broken brain or a chemical imbalance and they cannot be solved with a pill, but Jesus is able to heal their broken heart. This woman left feeling peaceful, with a smile on her face and her sadness released because she took her sadness to the Lord and He lifted it from her. 



Set Free from Accidental Killing    10

I met a man in jail who read my book and said he found it useful. I asked him if he was 100% sure that he was going to heaven when he died and he said he was not. I shared the gospel with him using the "Overcoming Doubts" booklet and he prayed to receive Jesus as his Savior. 


The following week he said he was sure of his salvation and he was trying to pray about his past emotional issues to be set free from his past. I asked him if he had experienced any traumatic losses and he became tearful and told me that he accidentally killed his best friend when he was 17 years old. He and his friend were playing with some guns that they thought were unloaded, and he accidentally shot his friend in the head and killed him. The boy's father was a Christian and he consoled this man and forgave him, but he still felt a lot of sadness and grief and began using drugs heavily. Now, thirty years later, he was still using drugs and was in jail for a drug-related charge. He said he wanted to be set free so he could stay with his family and be a good father.


I asked him what the main emotion was that he felt when he thought about his friend and he said he felt sad. He was sad because he took his friend away from his parents and family, he died so young, he was engaged to be married to a young lady, and he never got to enjoy life. We prayed about these sad feelings and he asked the Lord to take his sadness from him and carry it for him. Then I prayed and asked the Lord what He wanted this man to know. The thoughts that came to his mind were, "He's better off; he's at peace." I asked him how he felt now and he told me that he had no more sadness or feelings of shame, but he just missed him. He told me that he missed his goofiness, his sense of humor and how he made people laugh, and how fun he was to be around. He also said he missed his friend's friendship, spending time with him, running around together, going camping, and hanging out together. He said that his friend was a great person with good character, and he missed that and how cheerful he was. After identifying these specific losses he prayed and asked the Lord to take his grief and carry it for him. When I asked him how he felt afterwards, he said he felt "good" and he smiled and thanked me for praying with him. 


This tragic event was still upsetting to this man 30 years after it happened. But the Lord was able to take all those negative feelings from him and replace them with peace when he prayed about it in the jail. When he gets out of jail he will be free from that burden so that he can stay away from drugs if he gets rid of all the emotional baggage he has been carrying and he'll be able to live for the Lord and be the father that he wants to be. 



From Tears of Sadness to Tears of Joy     11

A woman was referred to me due to several recent losses she had endured. Within the last 18 months she lost her husband after 43 years of marriage, her daughter committed suicide, and two other close friends died. She was so distraught that she cried all the time and secluded herself, not wanting to ever leave the house. Her doctor prescribed an antidepressant for her but it made her feel worse so she quit taking it. I talked with her about how to overcome grief by being honest and making a list of the reasons for her grief, and then praying and giving it to the Lord. She was very receptive to this idea and was eager to get started with the loss of her husband. 


I asked her what was the strongest feeling she had when thinking about her husband and she said it was guilt. She felt guilty because he suffered from several medical problems and she felt she could have done more to make him comfortable, and she should have taken him to some different doctors. She also felt guilty that she kept him from spending more time in the country, which he enjoyed so much. These were feelings of shame, which are rooted in her beliefs, so I prayed and asked the Lord what He wanted her to know about her belief that she was a bad wife because she did not do more for her husband or take him to other doctors. I told her to be quiet and let me know if she had any thoughts come to her. This woman said, "I did my best; I did what he wanted and he died the way he wanted, at home in bed." I asked the Lord if there was anything else he wanted this woman to know. She listened quietly then said, "He does not want me to feel this guilt. He got to experience his dreams come true and he was happy." 


I asked her how she felt and she said she felt no more guilt or shame but she felt some anger toward him. He had been physically abusive with her in their early years together and he stopped abusing her physically but continued to abuse her emotionally by treating her like a slave rather than a wife and by treating her like his property. She identified ten reasons for her anger and then she prayed and gave her anger to God, asking Him to take it from her. Afterwards, I prayed again and asked the Lord what He wanted her to know. With tears streaming down her face she said, "He [the Lord] is right here by my side." "I loved him and I miss him, but I'm glad he is gone and out of his misery." I asked her how she felt now and she said she felt calm and had no more anger or guilt. I asked the Lord if there was anything else that He wanted her to know and she said, "He wants me to love myself and not be a hermit." Once again I asked her how she felt. She still had tears streaming down her face and she said, "I want to go out and meet people. The tears of sadness have turned to tears of joy!" I was elated and euphoric for hours afterwards to see this woman go from sorrow to joy in a few minutes and go out rejoicing and eager to meet people again. What an awesome God we have who heals broken hearts! 



Soldier Finds Healing of Trauma     12

A man told me that he does not participate in Halloween activities because his daughter died on Halloween and he gets sad on Halloween and does not like to think about it. I shared with him the story of a woman I prayed with who became depressed around Christmas because her mother died on Christmas day sixteen years earlier. I told him how she made a list of what she missed about her mother then prayed through the list and gave it to the Lord, and was immediately set free and began celebrating Christmas again. After I shared this story he looked directly at me and told me that he also had a bad experience on Christmas day.


He served in the military during the Iraq war in the 1990s and on Christmas day about 200 Iraqis surrendered to him and several dozen American soldiers. He stated that they were shaking them down one-by-one when a young woman pulled out a pistol and shot his sergeant. He immediately opened fire on the woman and shot and killed her. As he described this scene he became tearful. I asked him how he felt and he said he wasn’t sure, but he did not feel guilty. He knew that he was just doing his job. He said that it was upsetting because this happened on Christmas day, the day of “peace on earth,” and it was senseless and unnecessary because if they had followed procedures taught to them they would have made all the POWs lie down on the ground as they inspected them one-by-one. It also bothered him that this young woman died, and this was his first killing as a soldier. I wrote out a list of six reasons for his sadness and he agreed to give his sadness to the Lord in prayer. He repeated after me as I led him in a prayer and asked the Lord to take his sadness and carry it for him. Afterwards, I asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted this man to know. All he heard was, “It’s not true.” I asked him what that meant and he didn’t know, so I asked the Lord to clarify what that meant. The man immediately said, “It’s not my fault.” I asked him if that felt true and he said that it did. Then I asked him how he felt and he said, “A lot better.” I instructed him to think about the incident and visualize it and tell me how he felt now as he remembered it. He took a few seconds to think about it and said. “It’s gone; it’s okay now.” 


He could remember the incident now without feeling any sadness or tearfulness. He just needed the Lord to speak to him and bring truth to him to set him free. What this man experienced was posttraumatic stress disorder and this was just one incident that he had experienced. PTSD victims often have feelings of sadness and shame, like this man did, as well as feelings of anger and fear and each of these feelings need to be discussed and resolved through prayer. This prayer process does work to resolve PTSD if the victim is willing to work through each of his emotions and give them to the Lord in prayer. This man is not a believer yet but he has witnessed his wife get healing after healing and he is on the verge of becoming a believer. The Lord often brings emotional healing to unbelievers who sincerely call upon Him and this softens their heart to Him and brings them to acknowledge the reality and goodness of God. The Lord said in Jeremiah 29:12, “Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.” 



From Hurt to laughter     13

A woman came for help after her boyfriend proposed to her then took it back. She had received prayer ministry previously and experienced a great deal of healing, including a lot or release from anger and grief in her past. When last seen she was doing well and she talked about her relationship with her boyfriend. She stated that he treated her better than any of her previous relationships and although she was happy being single, she thought he was going to propose to her soon. However, they pretended to be engaged over the holidays, just to placate her family who kept asking when he was going to give her a ring. When they told her family that they they were just kidding, her family was understandably upset, but then he proposed to her for real. She was elated until the next day he took back his proposal because he said he felt pressured and he wanted to do it in a different time and way. She was very hurt and fearful that she was going to lose him, especially when his ex-girlfriend showed up at his door. He reassured her that he loved her and that he would propose to her soon and had no interest in the other woman. She said that she believed that he loved her and would, indeed, propose to her, but she was afraid that she could be hurt again, as she had been hurt in the past by other men.


I asked this woman how it made her feel to think that she might lose her boyfriend. She admitted that she felt hurt, angry and fearful, and it was like having anticipatory grief. She said she felt very sad that she could lose her boyfriend, and that her grandchildren would be hurt to lose him. She also felt sad to think about losing his family, and all the good times and fun they had together, and she was fearful that she might do something to push him away from her. She stated that she would like to get rid of this sadness so I led her in a prayer and she gave her sadness to the Lord, then I asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted her to know. “Everything works together for His good,” she said. “Whatever happens is God’s will. Me and my grandkids will be alright, whatever happens. God may have a better plan for me,” she said. These were the thoughts that the Lord brought to her mind to comfort her. 


“So, how do you feel now, as you think about the possibility of losing your boyfriend?” I asked. She paused briefly and said, “To tell you the truth I feel like laughing!” I asked her why she felt like laughing and she said, “He makes me feel happy. Everything is going to be alright. God is in control,” she said. She laughed as she left my office, and was obviously feeling good. Regardless of what happens with her boyfriend, this woman is going to be okay because she gave her sadness to the Lord and He took the pain and hurt from her and turned it to laughter. It is wonderful to see the Lord use the Comforter to bring peace into the hearts of his children as they learn to cast their cares upon Him and listen to His words of comfort. Jesus said, “Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh” (Luke 6:21) and “those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting” (Psalm 126:5). This woman was able to turn her hurt into laughter just as this scripture promised, and He can turn your pain to laughter as well.




john 14:1

"Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.  Believe in God, believe also in Me."  

Matthew 11:28

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.  Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.""

hurt

DAD DOESN'T WANT ME

When I first saw Jerry (not his real name) he was abusing meth and he was desperate for some medications to calm him. He told me that he was so angry that he was afraid that he might kill someone. And as we talked I learned that he had good reason to be angry. He had been badly abused by his stepfather who also was extremely violent to his mother until Joe was old enough to fight back and to protect her. Not surprisingly he became addicted to drugs as an adolescent and he still had a lot of anger inside. 


We met for several sessions and discussed his anger toward his wife for her infidelity, his anger toward his brother, and his anger toward his stepfather who had abused him and his mother. Each time we met he was able to release his anger and to gain more peace. After several session his anger was gone and his depression had dropped from a rating of 10 to a rating of 2. But there was one person whom he never mentioned in our sessions, his biological father. 


When I asked him what was causing his low-level depression he stated that he felt hurt and rejected by his former wife, so I asked him the first time he felt such rejection he said it was at age 8. His parents were divorced and when his mother met his stepfather, Jerry could tell that he was unwanted by the stepfather. Once his mother married him they often fought about Jerry. But his mother became ill and could not care for him and so Jerry hoped that he would be able to live with his real father because his stepfather was abusive and did not want him. He had been seeing his father about once per month prior to this and when his father was asked to take care of Jerry he began making excuses. Jerry felt that his dad didn't want him and so he began to feel that he was an inconvenience and was in the way. These feelings were very strong, as if this had happened yesterday. I asked permission to pray for him and then I prayed, "Lord, what do you want Jerry to know about this belief that he was an inconvenience and was in the way?" He told me the following thoughts came into his mind: "I know I'm not an inconvenience. I am important; I'm not in the way. I am a good person. I'm not a burden." I asked him if these thoughts felt true and he said they did. I asked him what changed his mind from a few minutes earlier when they felt true and he said that God had put the truth in his mind after we had prayed. He said, "The words just popped in my head like flash cards." 


I asked him to think about his former wife who left him and had an affair and asked him how he felt while thinking about her. He said that it didn't bother him anymore, since he had resolved his feelings about his father. He knew that he was important and that her rejection was just due to her own. His depression was completely gone now after having prayed about his feelings of hurt and rejection. We reviewed our previous sessions and how the Lord had removed all of his anger and hurt feelings and replaced it with His peace. Jerry was smiling, relaxed, and appeared to be truly at peace. 


He is now attending church faithfully, praying, reading his Bible, and feeling positive about his family and his future. When I first saw him he was so violently angry that he was afraid that he could kill someone, but after several sessions he was a completely new person. What a difference it makes when the Lord renews our minds, carries our burdens for us, and replaces our inner lies with the truth! Today Jerry is indeed a "new creature" in Christ!

helplessness

Are You on Drugs? 

A woman became extremely anxious when she heard that her husband's ex-wife was coming to town. The Ex had made threats against her previously and the prospect of her coming to town made this client very fearful, helpless, and nauseous. She begged her husband to take her away from their town where she had so many memories of abuse from her father but her husband insisted that she could not run from her problems. 


I encouraged her to focus on her feelings of anxiety and asked her when was the first time she had felt such feelings. She said the first time was when she was a child and her father yelled at her and threatened to beat her. She felt fearful and helpless and These bad feelings began to flood her mind and she began to feel anger at her father and at God for allowing her to experience such terrible things as a child. I asked her if she would like to get rid of her anger and she said she would, so we made a list of her resentments toward her father and toward God. We prayed about her anger and she was able to release it, then she said she still felt fearful, so I prayed, "Lord, what is the truth that you want her to know about her belief that she is helpless, isgoing to be hurt, and something terrible is going to happen? She stated that the thoughts that came to her were, "He is here with me; He will protect me." "Do those thoughts feel true?" I asked. She said they did. 


As we reviewed her emotions she indicated that she no longer felt any anger or fear about meeting her husband's ex-wife. The following week went well, she had no more anger toward her father or God, and she was no longer fearful of confronting her husband's ex-wife. She stated that she felt so good during the week that her husband asked her at one point, "Are you on drugs?" She laughed and said that she was not but she felt good because she had been able to resolve her anxieties and release her anger. The Lord is able to replace your fears and give you His peace, also. "May the Lord of Peace, Himself, grant you His peace in ALL circumstances" (2 Thess. 3:16). 


Set Free from Feeling Overwhelmed

A young man told me he was feeling overwhelmed with his new job. He had always been involved in manual labor and then he was promoted to a new position that involved writing reports and using a computer. He had always been good at what he did but he felt very overwhelmed at the thought of having to learn how to use a computer, which he had always avoided previously and this was placing a strain on his marriage. Feeling overwhelmed is usually a feeling of helplessness, which is a belief-based emotion, so I asked him if he ever felt overwhelmed like this before (to identify the source of his emotions). He couldn't remember ever feeling this overwhelmed but he told me that he had always avoided computers in high school and had his friends help him with reports.


I inquired more about his high school experiences and he told me that he avoided computers because he tried to use them once in the sixth grade and became so aggravated and irritated when he couldn't figure it out that he wanted to cuss and throw it down. He said that everyone else could do it but he couldn't and it made him feel very helpless and overwhelmed. This sounded like a "Source" to me so I asked him to reflect on this experience and remember how he felt, while I prayed for him. I prayed, "Lord, what do you want this boy to know about his belief that everyone else could do it but he can't." I told him to be quiet and let me know if he had any thoughts come to his mind. He said no thoughts came to his mind, but when I asked him if it still felt true he said, "No. It was just something that happened. I know I can do it; I just have to try." I asked him to think about going to work and learning how to use the computer to do his reports and to tell me if he still felt overwhelmed. He said that he no longer felt overwhelmed or fearful that he would not be able to do the job. He was confident that he could learn how to use the computer.


I explained to this man that feeling overwhelmed was due to his belief that everyone else could do it but he couldn't, and when I prayed for truth the Lord brought truth to his mind to set him free from his feelings of helplessness. The Lord brings truth to people in three different ways: some people have a thought enter their mind that comes from the Lord, some people have a visual picture that brings a truth to them, and others just have a quiet realization of truth. This man had a quiet realization of truth that set him free. The Lord said He would send us His Holy Spirit to "guide you into all truth" (John 16:13) and we are instructed in James 1:5 "If any of you lacks wisdom [insight into the true nature of things], let him ask of God... and it will be given to him." 


That's all we did; asked God for truth and He gave it to this man, and he was set free! If you are a believer you, too, have the Holy Spirit available to guide you into all truth and set you free from anxiety and feelings of helplessness if you will identify the source of your feelings, identify the false belief you have, and pray for truth. What a wonderful privilege to take everything to God in prayer!

aloneness

NO LONGER ALONE

A young mother of four children was deeply hurt by her husband when she discovered that he was spending private time with a fellow employee and had become emotionally involved with her. He admitted his emotional infidelity and was embarrased and apologized to his wife about it. He admitted also that he felt depressed and this made him vulnerable to the attentions of his female co-worker. 


His wife met with the counselor and discussed her anger. She was willing to release her anger and after making a list of her resentments toward her husband she asked the Lord to take them from her and replace it with His peace. When the counselor asked her how she felt afterwards she stated that she no longer felt any anger toward her husband, but she felt alone.


"When is the first time that you can remember feeling such feelings of aloneness?" the counselor asked. "When I was 9 years old my father was depressed and committed suicide," she replied. "I felt all alone with no one to comfort me or talk with me." "Could I say a prayer for you?" her counselor asked. With her permission he prayed and asked the Lord what He wanted her to know about her belief as a child that she was all alone with no one to care for her. Then he asked her if any thoughts had come into her mind. She answered, "I wasn't alone; God was with me and He took care of me. He is going to take care of me now; He is in control." "Do those thoughts feel true?" the counselor asked. She said that they did. She told him that she felt comforted and peaceful. 


All her feelings of anger were released first and then her feelings of aloneness. Once she prayed she knew the truth that she was never alone and she knew it experientially as well. The Lord has promised us, "I will never, ever leave you or forsake you." Hebrews 13:5 I


I WAS NEVER ALONE

Gary was a young man had been seen several times for counseling. In the first session he focused on his anger toward his biological father who had been abusive to his mother and had abandoned the children after his wife divorced him. This young man made a list of his resentments toward his father and released it in the first session. In the second session he talked about the loss of his grandmother who was very loving to him and taught him about the Lord. She died when he was a teenager and this devastated him so we made a list of 21 things he missed about her and then we prayed about this list and gave it to the Lord. When he was seen again he indicated that he no longer felt any anger toward his father, just pity, and he said that he was able to think about his grandmother without any emotional pain. 


Gary reported that in the last week he had been calm and content; he said his depression dropped to about a level 3 on a 10-point scale whereas it had been an 8 for the previous six months. But he stated that he sometimes felt unimportant and lonely and he felt that he did not deserve to have a partner in his life. He explained that as a child his parents often went out partying and left him behind and he cried and felt unwanted and alone. I asked Gary to concentrate on these memories and to try to remember how he felt; then I prayed for him, “Lord, what do you want Gary to know about his belief that he is unwanted and all alone?” He immediately began to pucker up as if he wanted to cry and the following string of thoughts came to his mind. “I’ve always wanted you; I’ve always been there with you; You’re never alone. I am wanted; God wants me; when I thought I was alone, God was with me and grandmother was there; she wanted me. I will never be alone.” I asked him if these thoughts felt true and he nodded his head. “Lord, is there anything else that you want Gary to know?” I prayed. He began reporting other thoughts coming into his mind. “I will never be alone. I always hold back with people because I’m afraid they will leave me; my parents didn’t abandon me; they left me with my grandmother who loved me; I had my grandmother there to love me; I am important and needed.” We talked about these insights and Gary was smiling. He was amazed at how good he felt as these insights sank into his mind. 


I explained that it is not necessary for him to remember each separate incident in which he felt alone because once you remove the initial memory, many others will also be removed, like dominoes falling. “Yes,” he said. “I’m remembering other incidents when my parents left me but I feel some emotion for just a second then it disappears.” He smiled even bigger. “Other memories are being cleaned out as they flash through my mind.” We talked about the goodness of God and how much he loves us. Watching Gary light up as God brought truth into his mind was an awesome experience and left me filled with excitement the rest of the day. God is so good and He wants to carry all our grief and sorrow. There is no need to feel alone when you know the truth that the Lord is always with you and has promised to “never, ever leave you or forsake you.” 


Not Alone

 (Contributed by Nicole Mann, Nashville) I prayed with a woman who had resentments towards her dad. She listed her resentments and then gave them to the Lord then realized three more things. When she gave those resentments to the Lord I prayed and asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted her to know and she said, “you are loved and not forgotten. You are not alone.” She felt relieved but also confused and tearful because it felt so true that she WAS alone! 


I asked her to tell me another time that she felt alone. She explained that during her whole childhood she was alone. She was alone when she played, alone at home while her parents were gone. She was alone a lot. I asked the Lord what He wanted her to know about this belief that she was alone and Psalm 27:10 came to her mind, “Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.” She continued with, “I don’t have to understand everything. Everything is going to be okay.” I asked her how she felt now about the Lord telling her, “You are loved and not forgotten and not alone.” She said she didn’t feel any resistance to that now. She said, “I feel ok. I feel acceptance. I hear, ‘I promise you its ok. There is something better.’” She said, “ I just need to be patient.” 


She went from tearfully expressing anger towards her father to feeling relieved…then suddenly to a sorrowful place of believing that she was really alone. But once we asked the Lord the truth about that belief she was able to fully receive the truth that she was TRULY “loved and not forgotten and not alone” as the Lord spoke yet another truth to her heart…Psalm 27 along with the beautiful personal message! By the end of the session she said that she felt “light and almost like I’m empty” (I hear that a lot when people try to describe God’s peace) …and she even chuckled with some good laughter! GOD IS GOOD! Let’s keep sharing so all will want to come to Him with their pain…and NOT to the world. For the world cannot carry our pain…Only Jesus can do that! Amen!