Peaceful Easy Feeling    1

I saw a man who was ordered by the court to come to six counseling sessions after he received a DUI. He didn't believe that he had a drinking problem and he was angry at the state and the highway patrolman who tried to make him take a breath analyzer test, which he refused. He said that the state was just trying to bring in some revenue and he was angry that he lost his driver's license and had to ask friends to drive him around. Since he didn't believe he had a drinking problem I asked him how I could help him. He said that he just wanted his driver's license back and I told him that I didn't have it and couldn't give it back to him but if we were going to continue meeting he needed to have some emotional issue for us to work on. He denied having any anger from his past (even though he had been abused by his stepfather) and he denied having any unresolved grief so he looked puzzled and was thinking hard for something to work on for the required six sessions. He admitted that he was angry at the government, the police, George Bush, and the Republican party. I asked him why he was angry at George Bush and he told me how he lost his business after George Bush took office and 9-1-1 occurred and another company went bankrupt causing him to lose his $250,000 business and he blamed President Bush for this. 

I told him about a 17-year-old boy who had an anger problem since age 8 when his mother suddenly abandoned him and his younger brother, and I explained how this young man was able to release his anger by being completely honest about his resentments and by giving his anger to the Lord in prayer. This led this man to thoughtfully share with me that he lived happily with his loving grandparents until age 8 and then his mother forced him to live with her and her new husband who began abusing him for the next 9 years. He admitted that he was angry at his stepfather and he said that he would like to get rid of his anger. We made a list of the resentments he had toward his stepfather and he agreed to tell the Lord about his anger and ask Him to take them from him. He was angry because his stepdad was hot-headed, he slapped the boy's mother around, he was extremely abusive in his discipline, and he made this boy work all the time so that he couldn't go to sporting events at school. When this man turned 17 he left home to get away from his stepfather. He told me that he believed in God and that his grandparents were religious people and he was willing to pray and try to give his anger to the Lord. I led him in a prayer to honestly tell God why he was angry at his stepdad and though he did not repeat my words he affirmed them by saying, "Yeh, that's right" or "Yep." At the end of the prayer I prayed, "Lord, I'm tired of carrying these feelings of anger so right now I choose to give them to you and I ask you to please take them from me and carry them for me. In Jesus' name. Amen." After the prayer I asked him how he felt and he said, "That did me some good." He said he no longer felt any anger so I asked him what happened to his Anger anger. He said, "I forgave him. I can't think of anything bad about him now. I feel more sorry for him and the way he acted." "How do you feel now?" I asked him. "I get that peaceful, easy feeling," he said. "You mean like the song says?" I asked. "Yeah. The Eagles. I feel a little different now." 

This man left with a smile and with "that peaceful, easy feeling," and a new openness to the Lord. The following week he reported that he still felt no anger toward his stepfather and he said, "I felt better all week." When people like this man experience the miracle of a peaceful heart and the lifting of their emotional burdens they get excited about the Lord and begin to follow him. It is normal to feel anger when someone does something harmful to us but the Lord does not want us to hold onto our anger for long. The Scriptures tell us to "let not the sun go down on your wrath." If you who are reading this story have any unreleased anger the Lord wants to carry it for you and give you that "peaceful, easy feeling" as well. 

Young Man in Youth Shelter    2

A young man who was living in a Youth Shelter was being seen for counseling sessions each week. He was well behaved and cooperated with the staff so there was little for him to talk about with his counselor until one day he stated that he was not doing well. He told his counselor that he had been getting angry a lot during the previous week. The first time was when another youth said something to him that angered him, and he got in the other youth's face and threatened to hurt him so the staff had to intervene and separate them. He said that he was so angry that it took him at lease thirty minutes to calm down. Then it happened again with another youth and he had to be deescalated again, and he began getting angry at the staff who were intervening. 

The counselor asked this young man, "If you could get rid of your anger would you want to?" He stated that he would and the counselor told him that he could show him how to do that. The counselor asked him to try to remember the first time he ever felt such strong anger, and the youth said, "When I was 8 years old." "What happened when you were 8 years old?" the counselor asked. "Well, my parents were divorced and so me and my brother and sisters lived with my mother, and sometimes she would take my and my little brother over to our dad's house and drop us off for awhile and then come back later and pick us up. When I was 8 years old my mother took me and my brother to our dad's house one day and said, 'I'll be right back; I'm going down to the store to get some cigarettes." She took off and we began playing. "As we played we kept watching for our mother to come back for us, but she never did. She never came back; that was the last time that I ever saw her. I was so mad that I stayed mad for the next two years. I didn't care about school, I got into fights and I began using drugs and drinking because I was so mad at my mother." "Well, I don't blame you for being mad. I would have been mad, too, if my mother had done that to me" his counselor said. "That's just wrong for a parent to do. But if you could get rid of that anger, would you want to?" he asked. "Sure. I'm tired of being mad; it gets me into trouble all the time," the youth said. 

His counselor told him that all he needed to do was two simple steps. First, he had to be completely honest and make a list of everything he was angry about toward his mother. Second, he needed to say a simple prayer, telling God exactly why he was angry at her, and then tell Him that he is tired of being angry and ask Him to take his anger from him. The young man said he was willing to do that so the counselor helped him made a list of the reasons for his anger and then led him in a prayer in which he gave his anger to the Lord. After praying, the counselor asked him how he felt and he said that he felt much better. Then the counselor told him to think about that day when his mother lied to him and abandoned him, and say how that memory made him feel. The young man thought for a few seconds about it and then said, "I feel fine; it felt like a load was lifted from me when I prayed." Then he added, "You know, I haven't seen my mother for nine years. I'd like to see her again." This surprised his counselor who replied, "Well, your're going home this weekend. Why don't you ask your father if that could be arranged?" He agreed to do this and when he told his father that he would like to see his mother again, his father just about fainted. He couldn't believe that his son wanted to see his mother again because he knew how angry he was. After this youth released his anger that day, he quit have angry outbursts and getting so intensely angry. He sometimes became mildly angry but it was no longer so intense and it didn't last as long. His anger problems disappeared. 

Anger at Employer    3

A middle-age man came for counseling. He said that he needed help with his anger which he had held ever since he had lost his job five years earlier. He had held this same job for 17 years and felt he was very good at his job, but some co-workers and supervisors conspired together to get rid of him and they lied about him an manufactured some false allegations about him. As a result of these lies he lost his job, his reputation, his retirement, and his self-respect. He said that he attended a Baptist church and taught a Sunday school class and his fellow church members told him that he needed to let go of his anger, but he didn't know how to do that. I explained to him how to release his anger by being completely honest about his anger with God, and then by asking Him to take his anger from him. We made a list of the specific reasons for his anger and then I led him in a prayer to be honest with God about his anger and to ask the Lord to take it from him and carry it for him. When we finished praying I asked him how he felt. He said that he felt a little better; then he hesitated and said, "Wait, I feel a lot better. That knot I had in my stomach is gone. I feel really good" he said. "This is the best counseling session I have ever had" he said (it was our second session but he had previously been seen by other counselors with no change in his feelings). 

This man left the room smiling and he immediately went to the receptionist and told her what had just happened. Then he went to see a nurse and told her the same story, because he was so excited about what had happened. A month later I saw him again and asked him how he was doing. He was still smiling and he said that he has been doing great and he was no longer angry at the people who got him fired. He was free of his anger and he was happy about the retraining program he was taking. God released him from the anger that he had held onto for five years, in just a few minutes, as we prayed together. 

Anger Teenage Girl It's a Miracle!         4

A friend called me excitedly to tell me this story. He and his wife had assisted me in some prayer ministry sessions and observed how to help people release their anger, but neither of them had ever done it themselves. One evening the husband's 16 year-old daughter was upset and crying after having a conversation with her biological mother over the telephone. Her stepmother asked her what was wrong and the girl told her that she was upset about the way her mother treated her. The stepmom asked her, "Would you like to get rid of that pain?" She said, "Yes" and her stepmom then spoke to her father and said, "Here. Show her how to do that." Her father was taken aback and felt unprepared to do this on his own. 

After some stammering and hesitation he did just what he had observed me doing in prayer sessions. "Let's make a list of what you are angry about" he told his daughter. She began talking and her father made a list of her resentments as she talked. After making a short list she ran out of ideas so her father prayed, "Lord, is there anything else she needs to add to her list?" She began thinking of other resentments toward her mother and soon they had a long list of reasons for her anger. By this time she was crying and shaking with emotion. Her father led her in a prayer, telling the Lord why she was angry and then led her to pray, "Lord, I'm tired of feeling this anger so right now I choose to give it to you and I ask you to carry it for me. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen." As soon as they finished praying the daughter suddenly quit shaking and crying and sat there calmly. It was like turning off a faucet of water! She said she felt good and was no longer angry. Her father prayed for her again and said, "Lord, is there anything that you want her to know?" "It isn't my fault that my mother treats me like this." Her father was astounded to hear her say this, not ever suspecting that she blamed herself for her mother's behavior and profoundly relieved that the Lord healed these feelings of shame she had been carrying. "Does that feel true?" he asked her. She said that it did; she was assured that it was her mother's problem, not hers. She said she no longer felt anger; she just felt sorry for her mother and they prayed together for her mother. 

The father was thankful that the Lord healed these feelings his daughter had so that she would not have to carry them into her adult life and allow them to lead her to make poor decisions in her life. "It was a miracle!" he told me. Both he and his wife are still rejoicing in the miracle they observed as they prayed for his daughter and saw her healed instantly of her anger and of the feelings of shame she was carrying which they did not know were present. "What an awesome God we have!" he said. 

He prayed on his own     5  

Jeremy came to church with a friend of his due to his desperate search for freedom from addiction. He began using meth at age 13 and had been through numerous psychiatric hospitalization, anger management classes, and treatment programs. None of these helped him overcome his urges for his drugs. He remained drug-free for six months but struggled every day with urges to use drugs. When he came to church the pastor referred him to Dr. Gardner's "Set Free" class. When he went to class he broke down and told the class that his wife had just left him that morning after an argument. They comforted him and two men agreed to meet with him on Thursday evening to pray with him. Dr. Gardner gave him a copy of his book. 

When they met with Jeremy on Thursday evening he was smiling and said that he felt much better. When questioned he said that he had been reading his Bible and praying. He said that he prayed about his anger toward his father, his mother, and his stepfather and he had released his anger. He was being more kind to his wife and he thought they would reunite soon. The two men shared the gospel with Jeremy and got saved that evening and then he was baptized the following Sunday. Jeremy is still doing great and he states that although he sometimes has some struggles in his new faith, he has not had any more urges for drugs. He now lives in the town where he used to go to buy his drugs and he is not even tempted to use again. God has truly set Jeremy free from his addiction through prayer. 

It Works!    6

I saw a woman whom I had seen once before, a month earlier. She was on probation for assault and had recently served six months in a Texas jail and was being required by a Texas court to take anger management. When I saw her the first time I did an Intake history and listed five significant losses and about nine sources of anger. She was a very angry woman who was wanting help and when I described the prayer-based approach I used she was excited about it. 

This woman drove all the way from Texas to see me a second time. I read off the list of people whom she had previously indicated she was angry at and asked which one she was the most angry toward. She told me it was her sister. I asked her why she was angry at her sister and she gave me fifteen specific resentments she had and she became tearful as she thought about and talked about her sister. After making this list I asked her if she would like to get rid of her anger and she said she wasn't ready. She told me that if she released her anger she feared that her sister would hurt her again and she would have to socialize with her. I challenged these beliefs and prayed about them and she said she wanted to go ahead and release her anger. As we prayed through her resentments she cried again and shook with emotion but she continued to the end of the list as I led her in prayer. When we were finished I asked the Lord what He wanted her to know. The only thought that came to her mind was, "Everything is going to be OK." I asked her to think about her sister and tell me how she felt. She said that she felt sad but had no more anger. She said, "I'm sorry that her husband died three years ago and she is depressed and stays in bed. I should apologize to her for being so hateful to her." "A few minutes ago you were very angry at her and now you just feel sad for her," I said. "What do you think about that?" "It works!" she said. "I feel light now. I feel a lot better." 

What a miracle! I gave her the anger list I made for her and a booklet on "How to Overcome Anger" and told her to follow the same procedure and give the rest of her anger to the Lord. The next time I see her I hope that she has done this and then we can pray about her losses and see this woman set free. What an awesome God we have! 

Angry at God     7

Many people encounter others who are angry at God about something and wonder how to help them. Well, I met a young woman in jail recently who said that she that she had a God-fearing family and had once been very close to God but she was now in jail and was angry at God. Curious about how a person who had once been close to God had strayed so far away I asked about her family background and criminal history. She stated that she was raised by a godly elderly woman until age 3 and then lived with her biological mother and stepdad during weekdays, both of whom were violent. It was this elderly woman who taught her about the Lord but she experienced a lot of abuse growing up around her mother. She said that she was very close to the Lord as a teenager and loved Him very much. At age 17 she married her husband and remained married to him for twelve years and from this marriage she had two children. In 2007 her biological father died as well as an 18-month-old nephew and her best friend. These loses were very painful and led her to begin using drugs. 

In 2008 a neighbor woman began spanking her daughter who had accidentally knocked some clothes off her clothes line, and this woman went to defend her daughter and ended up beating her badly in front of her own children. Her protective reaction to this woman was normal but her overreaction was probably due to the unresolved anger she had from growing up in an abusive home. As a result of this assault her children were removed from her custody and she was sent to prison for 10 months and lost everything, including permanent loss of parental rights. At this time she became very angry at God whom she felt had abandoned her.t was very difficult talking with this woman. I shared my usual stories about how the Lord is able to release us from anger and asked if she wanted to get rid of her anger. She said that she did but she did not believe this prayer process would help because she had already tried to pray about it. 

She said that her real problem was her anger at God. She was angry at him for allowing her to lose her children and everything else after she had been so close to Him and tried to serve Him and she felt like her life was like a game to God. She said that she was angry at God for allowing her to be tempted by the devil the same way He had allowed Job to be tempted, just to prove to Satan that Job would be faithful to Him. This made her very angry. I asked her if she would like to get rid of this anger and she said that she would but she did not believe that this simple prayer process would help. After some further resistance she finally consented to pray about her anger at God. I led her in a prayer in which she told the Lord why she was angry at Him and then said, "I'm tired of being angry at You so right now I choose to give it to you and I ask you to please take this from me and replace it with your peace." After this prayer I asked her how she felt when she thought about God. She looked perplexed and after some hesitation she finally said, "I don't feel any anger." She said that she felt some disappointment and hurt but no longer had any anger toward God. 

I deal with anger toward God the same way as I do with anger toward others. The first step is to be completely honest by making a thorough list of the reasons for their anger, and the second step is to pray and give it to God. Anger toward others is usually truth-based, but anger toward God is not, but the same method works for eliminating either kind of anger. It's an amazing thing to see how simply God can remove anger when a person is willing to be honest with Him and give it to Him to carry. After thirty years of research the best that secular therapists have found is "Anger Management" which is very ineffective. The recent assault by professional basket ball player Ron Artest, the poster child for Anger Management, demonstrates just how ineffective anger management is. The Lord is able to release an individual instantly when they give their anger to Him and we have the privilege of demonstrating this to the world in our churches and in our personal lives. What a God we have!! 

Anger Fades as We Speak    8

Contributed by woman in Sunday School Class: I want to thank you for bringing the Set Free program to the church. I went to another Sunday School class where I was able to recognize some of the reasons for my anger but did not learn how to release it until I came to your class. I have now been set free from much anger, guilt and shame from my childhood issues and adult life. During a recent class I became convicted to call and talk to my sister about her anger issues because every time I spoke with her I could hear the anger in her voice. So, I called her on the phone and told her how the Lord had set me free from my anger, guilt, and shame and I explained the process to her and asked her if she would like to get rid of her anger. She was hesitant at first and told me that she had already been to counselors and that it didn't help her and that she didn't want to confront the people who had offended her. I told her the anger will keep her from moving past her hurt and will make her bitter and I explained that this was just a prayer process and that she didn't have to confront anyone, so she said she would like to do it. I then read through the booklet on "How to Overcome Anger" and when we came to the steps I asked her who she was angry toward. She came up with eleven names of people she was angry about. Then I read the second step and made a list over the phone of the things she was angry about with three of them and I prayed with her about those three people. 

When we were done I asked her if she felt any anger toward them and she said, "Oh, yeah, its fading as we speak." In a minute she said she felt peace about those people and even felt sorry for one of the people on her list. I could hear the change in her voice as she spoke over the phone. She was much more calm and peaceful. Days later I can tell that she still feels peace in her heart. She also told me that this really helped her because she had felt bad cause she has not been to church and that she felt the Lord was not answering her prayers. I told her before we got off the phone to not stop with the three people we prayed about but to follow through with the rest of the people on her list as well. I told her I would be willing to pray with her when she is ready. She also wants me to send her some of your pamphlets and your book to read. I told her I would be willing to pray with her some more when she is ready. I am so excited about this ministry now that I want to help others! 

Set Free from Grief and Anger     9

A man came to our Set Free Sunday School class who had been saved recently. We talked about how the Lord had set some other people free in the preceding week and as we talked this man began to weep. He shared that he had recently lost his mother and felt a lot of grief, but he also felt a lot of anger at his father who had become very angry and hateful toward him. He told us that his mother always favored him and his father resented this and treated him badly. After his mother died his father shut off the utilities in the house to force him and his wife and children to move. In court his father told the judge that he was no longer his son and in private his father called him lazy and stupid and he threatened to kill him one day. We made a list of his resentments toward his father and then asked him if he would tell the Lord why he is angry at his father and ask Him to take his anger from him. He said he was willing to do this so we led him in a prayer and he gave his anger to the Lord. Then we prayed and asked the Lord if there was anything He wanted this man to know. He said that he visualized his mother in white clothing and she was in heaven and was smiling and dancing. We asked him how he felt toward his father and he said, "I love him; I don't have any more anger. I feel sad for him and want him to get help with his anger." 

The following week this man was shopping in Walmart and met his father in an aisle of the grocery section. He walked up to his father and said, "Hi, dad. I love you." His father refused to look at him or acknowledge him and just walked away from him. This man said that he felt no anger or hurt because he had given all his anger to the Lord and the Lord had taken it from him. When we met the following Sunday we made a list of what he missed about his mother but he showed very little emotion; there were no tears. The visual image he had of his mother smiling had removed the pain of his loss and he was able to think about her without any emotional pain or sadness! The Lord not only took away his anger but also took away is grief through our first prayer session. What a wonderful God we have who heals the brokenhearted and sets the captives free! 

Reluctantly Set Free     10

The following testimony was submitted by one of our Set Free team members: After a recent Set Free meeting a man asked for prayer. He shared with me that he had a lot of anger and had tried everything to get rid of it. However nothing had helped him and he was so very tired of caring this anger all the time. I shared with him how I could help him with his anger. He wanted to see Dr. Jim Gardner; I shared with him he was on vacation but I could help him and have helped others with anger before and had seen God miraculously take their anger. He was skeptical about me and reluctantly said he did not know where all this anger was coming from. 

I asked him when was the last time he was angry at someone. He shared that he used to be angry at his ex-wife, but said he wasn't anymore. I said, "Ok; when you see her you don't get mad?" He said that he didn't. I said ""Ok; when was the earliest time you felt this kind of anger?" He said, "Christmas; I hate Christmas." I asked why he hated Christmas?" He said, "my dad would always get drunk on Christmas eve and would couldn't be at home at Christmas because of his drinking." So I asked him if he was angry at his dad? He said, "I hate my dad." I asked if he could get rid of that anger would he want to? With tears in his eyes he said, "I would do anything to get rid of it." I asked if he would like to pray and get rid of it? He said yes. So we made a long detailed list of everything he was hurt and angry about regarding his dad. I then led him in a prayer and he gave all the hurts and angers he had listed to God, and asked God to take it in Jesus name. I also asked God if there was anything he wanted this man to know? He said, "it is going to be ok now. It will be a long process but I will get through this." Also, he said that he felt sorry for his dad and he felt he shouldn't judge him for his alcohol and gambling problems. Praise God that when we are honest about our feelings and are willing to give them to him in prayer, He takes our hurt and anger and replaces it with His peace. 

Ready to Go Door-to-Door     10

A young man came to me because he was addicted to synthetic marijuana known as K2. His substance abuse began two years earlier after his parents divorced and his grandfather died who was his only good father-figure. He also had some feelings of anger and hurt at his rejection by his biological father and his stepfather. I spoke with him about how addictions are caused by unresolved negative emotions such as anger and grief, and I shared with him out to be set free through a prayer process. Due to lack of time I was unable to actually lead him through a prayer so I gave him a copy of the Grief Booklet and encouraged him to pray on his own about the loss of his grandfather. 

When I saw him the following week he immediately said that he was doing “a lot better.” He told me that he made a list of what he missed about his grandfather, with the help of his mother, and he prayed about it and gave it to God. He said that it felt like God was standing beside him and he said, “It was weird” but it worked. This young man admitted that he still had some urges to use drugs so I asked what other negative feelings he needed to work to resolve. He told me that he felt most badly about his biological father so we talked about him and made a list of what he resented about him. Together we made a list of nine reasons for his anger and he then told the Lord about this and asked the Lord to carry his anger for him. After this prayer he said he felt unwanted and unloved (feelings of hurt) and he told me that he felt that it was his fault that his parents had separated (feelings of shame). So, I prayed and asked the Lord what He wanted this young man to know. “My mom wants me and loves me,” he said. Then he added, “I know God loves me, too.” I asked him if it still felt true that he was unwanted and unloved and he said, “No, because I still have my mom and stepdad.” I asked him what he thought about that and he said, “It’s weird. It’s kind of funny.” 

He stated that he had no more negative feelings about his biological father. He told me that his mother sometimes told him that he was going to grow up to be like his father and that made him feel badly so I prayed and asked the Lord what He wanted this young man to know about that. “That’s not true,” he said. “I know God is helping me.” I asked him if it still felt true that it was his fault that his parents separated and he said, “No. I was only six months old. It was the drug’s fault.” We then talked about his feelings toward his stepfather whom he said favored his sister and who never spent any time with him. He felt neglected and believed he was not good enough. We made a list of six resentments he had toward the stepfather and prayed about them and gave them to the Lord. I prayed and asked the Lord if there was anything that he want this man to know. “No. I heard the word No and I saw the word NO in big white letters,” he said. “I’m loved, I’m good enough, I’m Okay. I forgive him for that. He was a good guy who took care of us but he just didn’t spend time with me. He was not the father-figure that I wanted.” I asked him how he felt toward his stepfather and he said that he felt good about him. Then he said, “It’s crazy how I feel different every time I pray. It’s really weird!” 

The following week when he came back he excitedly proclaimed that he was doing "a lot better," had gone to church with a friend, and had not used any more K2. He said that he felt good and calm and had not had any fights with his mother in a long time because she was no longer "pushing my buttons." He even said that he gave an anger booklet to his friend and that it helped him. He admitted having some anger toward his mother who used to take out her anger on him and had verbally abused him because he resembled his biological father. We prayed about this anger and gave it to the Lord and then I asked him how he felt. "Good; no negative feelings at all. I can see her shaking me (as a child) but I don't feel angry anymore. It feels so weird; I can't wait for mom to feel this!" I asked him what he thought about this and he said, "It's awesome; I'm spreading the word! You don't need meds; all you need is this little booklet! I feel great!." He asked for some more anger booklets and said "I'll go door-to-door and spread the word!" He is excited to see how the Lord has set him free from his anger and given him peace and now he is excited to share this with others. We should all get excited about the Lord when we see His goodness and His power to heal us through prayer. 

Self-abusive Inmate Set Free from Anger     11

Our ministry team recently prayed with a man named Joe in the local jail. While he was looking at our book cart I struck up a conversation with him and asked if he was certain that he was going to heaven. He said that he was sure of his salvation because he had received Jesus into his heart. I asked him why he was in this pod and he showed me his arms where he had been cutting on himself. Both of his arms were covered with tattoos also so I explained that that we want to teach people how to not only be saved but also to be set free. I told him that he probably had some bad things happen to him to make him feel angry or feelings of shame, like maybe his father treated him badly. He did a double-take and asked me how I knew that; his father had been emotionally and physically abusive to him. I asked Joe if he would like to get rid of his anger if he could and he said that he would. 

Me and a ministry partner sat down at a table with him in the cell house and asked him why he was angry at his father. He told us how his father became angry and abusive after his mother divorced him because he blamed Joe for the divorce. He was angry because his parents divorced, they quit loving each other, and his father began drinking and became abusive to him. He became very threatening and intimidating, he verbally abused him and cussed at him, and he disowned him and said Joe was no longer welcome in his home. We made a list of these reasons for his anger and then prayed with him and he gave them to the Lord. After giving his anger to the Lord I prayed and asked the Lord what He wanted Joe to know. "Forgive him" was the response. I asked him how he felt, and he smiled and said, "I'm not mad anymore!" His whole expression changed and he was excited about how quickly his feelings changed. We gave Joe an anger booklet and encouraged him to continue praying like this so he could be set free from all his negative feelings and begin serving Jesus. He has other feelings that need to be addressed but we hope to see him set free from all these destructive feelings before he is released from jail so that he will serve the Lord when he gets out. The Lord loves to set the captives free and we love having a part in it! 

Inmate finds Freedom from Anger    12

Anger toward God is very common and is difficult for many Christians to address. It frequently occurs when there is a painful loss of a child or a close relative and it leads people to quit praying and attending church. I saw a young man in jail who received the Lord as His Savior several months ago and whom I see each week when I return to the jail. Since his new birth he has looked much happier and assures me that he is certain that he is going to heaven when he dies. 

One day I asked him about his tattoos and he pointed out one tattoo of a person's name. He told me that this was a 2 y.o. child he knew very well who died whom he had prayed about fervently. When his prayers failed and the child died he became very angry at God. Although he was saved now and happy to be a Christian he admitted, when I inquired, that he still feels some anger at God about the death of this child. I asked him if he would like to get rid of it if he could, and he said he would. I find that fascinating that people want to release their anger at God but do not know how to do it. We sat down at a table in the cell house and I asked him why he was angry at God. He told me, "Because He allowed Erin to die." I asked for other reasons for his anger and he told me he was angry because he has been in prison for ten years, God could have guided him and kept him from this type of life; He didn't ask to be born and God let him be born and go through such painful things. He also said that it seems that God is playing games with us and showing Satan what He can do. Although anger is generally truth-based, anger at God is not. So I led him in a prayer to tell God why he was angry, then I prayed and asked the Lord to take this man's anger from him and I asked the Lord if there was anything He wanted this man to know. He said, "He loves me. I am picturing Him (the Lord) in white and He is saying, 'I love you, my son.'" I asked him how that made him feel and he said that he felt calm and peaceful. He said that he felt no more anger at God.

Weeks later I continue to see him and he is always smiling and happy to see us. He says he has no anger at God and he continues to read his Bible and prays. When people are angry at God it can be very damaging to them emotionally and spiritually. I have prayed with several pastors who were angry at God but continued to preach each week, but they were set free in the same way. Just be honest, tell the Lord why you are angry, and give your anger to him. Don't try to talk people out of their anger toward God or justify His actions. Just pray and ask Him what He wants them to know, then tell them to listen to the still, small voice of God bring truth and comfort to their heart. God can handle our anger toward Him and He will take it from us if we will just be honest with Him and give it to Him. When He sets you free from your anger, you will be free indeed, even when you are angry at Him! 

 Getting to the Root of Anger    13

A man was required to come for counseling for anger management and domestic violence and had begun to experience peace in his life after several sessions in which we prayed about some significant losses he had experienced in his life. One day he came to my office and said he had been doing well and had been feeling good until the previous day when he learned that his neighbor had sold his 12-year-old son some marijuana. He said that he was going to take care of this problem, clearly implying that he was going to confront and physically threaten the neighbor. I knew that his anger was rooted in the past and we had not yet dealt with it directly. I also knew that he was very angry at his former girlfriend and the mother of his two children who had kidnapped his children and hidden them from him for 7 years. 

I asked him if he would want to get rid of that anger at her if he could. He was hesitant and said, "No, I think I need to hang onto my anger to protect myself." I asked him if he would allow me to pray about this idea and he said he would so I prayed and asked the Lord what He wanted this man to know about his belief that he needed to hang onto his anger in order to protect himself. "Let me know if you have any thoughts come into your mind" I told him. "I get the feeling that it's not true" he said. "Okay, so do you want to go ahead and try to get rid of it?" I asked. He said he did and we began making a list of his resentments toward his girlfriend. He resented her for allowing her boyfriends to abuse their children, for falsely accusing him of harming the children, for repeatedly cheating on him and nine other resentments. Then I asked him again if he wanted to get rid of this anger toward her and he said, "Yes, all except for the resentment about her affairs." I asked him why he wanted to hold onto this resentment and he said he felt that he needed to hold onto so that he would not be hurt so badly if his current wife has an affair on him. I asked permission to pray about this and then asked the Lord, again, what He wanted this man to know about this belief that he needed to keep his anger to protect him from further hurt. "I've got this feeling that its not true" he said. We then prayed and told the Lord why he was so angry at his ex-girlfriend and asked the Lord to take his anger from him and carry it for him. I asked the Lord what He wanted this man to know. "Everything's going to be alright" he said. I asked him how he felt now about his ex-girlfriend and he said, "I feel comfortable with it now. I'm not mad. I feel calm." Then he said, "I'm feeling calm about what I'm dealing with now with my neighbor." He smiled and left the room with no anger. 

The Lord removed the root cause of his anger and his surface anger at the neighbor was suddenly gone as well. This illustrates how important it is to always try to deal with the root source of anger and not just with the immediate source of anger. This is how the Lord sets us free from anger, by taking our deep-rooted anger and replacing it with His peace. What a God we have! 

Mothers of Murder Victims Set Free        14

On Sunday, January 29th, I was invited to speak at two churches in Marshall, Arkansas. At the first service I spoke about "Overcoming Grief," and at the second service I spoke about "Overcoming Anger." I agreed to pray with anyone who needed prayer over their grief or anger and two women came for prayer. Both of these women were suffering from the trauma of having a child murdered. The loss of a child is one of the most traumatic experiences a person can have, but when the child dies from violence it is even more traumatic, but the Lord is able to set us free from the most traumatic experiences we can have. The pastor sat in on the prayer session with the first woman and observed how she was released from her sadness, anger, and grief and then she felt peaceful and calm afterwards. She smiled and said that she felt no more anger and that she felt sorry for them! What an amazing transformation! The pastor told me afterwards that it is one thing to understand this process intellectually but it was awesome to witness it firsthand. 

The next day he had an opportunity to pray with this woman's sister and he said he "had similar experience" and that it was "awesome." He was able to pray with her and see her set free after hearing two sermons and witnessing one prayer session! I then met with another woman who had attended the service where I spoke about grief. This woman was a patient at a nearby Christian psychiatric clinic and she was accompanied by one of the attendants. She told me that this was her third hospitalization for ten days during the last year. This began when her son was shot and killed during a robbery of a store where he worked. Although she admitted having a history of depression she had never been previously hospitalized prior to the murder. She was given heavy doses of psychiatric medications to sedate and calm her but she was still suffering emotionally from the loss of her son. This woman explained that she had four sons but this one was the most loving and caring to her. She lived with him twelve years when she was in need and his death was deeply painful. I asked her what she missed the most about her son and she gave me a long list of things which I wrote down. She said he was her best friend, he supported her and took her into his home, and he was loving to her. She missed eating out with him, spending holidays and birthdays with him, shopping, fixing dinner for him, and going to church with him. She mentioned 22 things she missed about her son then I led her in a prayer in which she told the Lord what she misses about him and asked the Lord to take her grief from her. I asked the Lord if there was anything He wanted her to know. She said, "I feel better" and she said she felt no more grief or sadness about her son. She reported that the following thoughts came to her mind: "He is in a better place; He is no longer in pain."

I asked this woman if she had any other negative feelings and she told me that she was dreading going to the trial because she felt such hatred for her son's murderer. We made a short list of the reasons for her hatred and anger. Of course, she had good reasons to be angry at the murderer because he took her son's life in a senseless murder, he had a history of other crimes, and it made her angry that he was released from jail for fifteen days before he was returned to jail. She stated that she would like to get rid of her anger so I led her in a prayer, telling the Lord why she was angry and asking Him to take her anger from her. I then prayed and asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted her to know and she then said, "I know it was God's time." After this brief prayer I asked her how she felt. She said that her anger was gone and she felt no more hatred for the murderer. She said, "I can face him now" (in the trial). 

She began smiling and she said she felt peaceful as she left. This illustration shows how powerful the Lord is and how He can set us free from our strongest emotions. The world has no solution for problems like these but Jeus can do for us what no counselor, psychologist, doctor, psychiatrist, or medication can do. He can set us free from our negative emotions and give us His perfect peace!

From Anger to Laughter      15

I saw a woman whom I had seen several times before who had a long history of depression. She was initially prompted to see me by the loss of her husband who was very loving to her and they had enjoyed ministering together in their church and then he suddenly died from a heart attack. We prayed about this loss previously and she immediately felt the grief lifted and then we prayed about another loss and saw it resolved. When I last saw her she stated that she was doing really good, she had prayed on her own about another loss, and had begun going back to church and had reduced her medications. But her mother moved in with her and her mother's selfishness began triggering off feelings of anger she had towards her since childhood. I asked her if she would like to get rid of that anger and she said she would, so we made a list of her resentments toward her mother. 

Her mother was an alcoholic who partied a lot when this woman was a girl and her mother neglected and abused the children causing this woman to have to take care of her siblings. After all these years her mother has never apologized, admitted she was an alcoholic, or changed; she continues to be self-centered, selfish, and greedy and she does not help pay for her own expenses and she steals from her daughter. We made a list of 16 resentments this woman had toward her mother and then prayed through each one of them, telling the Lord why she resents her mother. Then this woman gave her resentments to the Lord and asked Him to carry them for her. I prayed "Lord, is there anything that you want this woman to know?" "He wants me to know I'm doing right" she said. "So, how do you feel now when you think about your mother?" I asked. She began laughing and said "I'm not angry any more; its so sad and pathetic." She said that she felt no irritation at her mother; she just felt very relieved. This woman told me that since she had resolved her grief over the loss of her husband she had begun eating more healthy and had lost 35 pounds without even trying. Now that she has been relieved of her anger she will continue to do well. Isn't it wonderful how the Lord can turn our mourning and our anger into laughter and set us free! He does indeed set the prisoners free! 

Man Releases Intense Anger      16

I saw a young man with a friend of his, who decided that he needed to change his life and get help with his anger. He said that his wife was afraid of him because of how he yelled at her and cursed at her when angry. He was raised by an angry father who was violent with him and his mother. His father made his mother buy his drugs for him and by age 11 this young man was using drugs with his father. His father never spanked him; he punched and kicked him over little things and assaulted him like he was a full-grown man when he was 13 years old. His father cheated on his mother in front of this young man, which made him feel very guilty, because he loved his mother. By age 13 this young man was so angry and violent that he was committed to psychiatric facilities on three occasions and placed on strong psychiatric medications. But his problem was not a chemical imbalance or genetic disorder; he was just full of anger. 

I asked this man if he would like to get rid of his anger and he said that he would. I explained that he needed to do two things to get rid of it: first, he needed to be completely honest about his anger and list the reasons for his anger and secondly, he needed to say a prayer and ask the Lord to take his anger from him and carry it for him. We made a list of 20 things that he resented about his father and then I led him in a prayer and told the Lord why he was angry, then he asked the Lord to take it from him and carry it for him. I prayed again and asked the Lord what He wanted this young man to know. Two thoughts came to his mind: "My wife loves me and I shouldn't take out my anger on her. Cause my dad doesn't care it doesn't mean mom doesn't." I asked him to think about his father and tell me how he felt. He said that he felt "relieved" and said that he felt no anger but instead he felt forgiveness in his heart. He thought about his father and tried to stir up the anger he had felt a few minutes earlier but it was gone. He told me that he felt guilty for acting like his father and treating his mother and wife so badly, so I talked with him about his guilt. I explained to him how the Lord will forgive him if he confesses his sins and asks for forgiveness. I asked him if he would like to be 100% sure that he was going to heaven and he said he would, so I shared the booklet, "How to Overcome Doubts about Salvation" with him, and he received Jesus as his Savior! 

What a joy it is to see a young man like this be set free from his violent anger and give his life to the Lord! He said that he felt great to be free of his intense anger and to know that he was going to heaven. We encouraged him to begin reading his Bible and praying every day and to continue meeting with us so we can pray with him and allow the Lord to set him free from all the bad feelings that have held him in bondage. What an exciting thing it is to see people's lives changed by the Lord. "And they were amazed at the greatness of God" (Luke 9:43). 

Man Set Free from Anger toward Dad       17  

A man came to me for help with his anger after getting into a fight with his father and being arrested for domestic violence. It happened when his father came to his house to help him and encourage him and he exploded with rage due to the pent-up anger he had held for years. His father, he said, was a good man and never abused him but he was gone working most of the time as he grew up and he resented this. 

As a young man he went to church and gave his life to the Lord but then at age 17 his grandmother died and at age 18 his girlfriend left him. He went "crazy" and began drinking and getting drunk all the time. He got married and three years later his wife divorced him and he was very angry and hurt about that. I talked with this man about his anger toward his father and ex-wife and told him how he could be set free from it by first being honest about the reasons for his anger, and secondly, telling the Lord why he is angry and asking Him to take his anger from him. The following weekend he wrote out the reasons for his anger toward his father and his ex-wife and asked the Lord to take it from him. He said that he felt very peaceful after that and had no more anger toward his father or wife. He did this entirely on his own and said, "He really began speaking to me" and he gave his life back to the Lord and felt like he was back to the place in his life that he was at before he lost his grandmother and girlfriend. We talked about his grandmother and he still had some sadness so I asked him what he missed about her. We made a list of 12 things he still missed about her, then we prayed and he asked the Lord to carry his grief and sadness for him. After that I prayed and asked the Lord what He wanted this man to know. He said, "I saw her sitting beside Jesus" and he suddenly felt happy and his sadness left him. 

With a simple prayer the Lord took his grief and sadness and replaced it with peace and the truth that she was with the Lord and was happy. What a God of comfort we have who wants to carry our burdens for us and give us His peace! 

Young Man Releases Anger on His Own     18

A young man came for help with his anger and told me that he was “blowing up” every day at people. He lived in a small town and had been angry since about age 14 when his father had an affair with his secretary and then left his family for this other woman. This affair was well known in his community so it embarrassed the young man and he went to live with his aunt in another town to avoid the gossip and embarrassment. Then he lost three close friends when he was 15 years old and this added to his anger and bad feelings. I explained to him that there were two steps he should take to release his anger. First, he needed to be completely honest about his anger by making a list of the reasons for his anger and then, secondly, he needed to say a prayer to tell the Lord why he was angry and to ask the Lord to take his anger from him. When he returned a week later he told me that he had prayed about his anger toward his father and that he no longer had any anger. He was pleasantly surprised to see his anger leave and he said that he had not had any more angry outbursts since then. We then talked about the loss of a very close friend when he was 15 years old and we made a list of 11 things he missed about her. After we prayed I asked him how he felt while thinking about this friend. He said, “Happy; she’s in a better place.” The grief he had been carrying was suddenly gone and he felt joy and peace instead of sadness and pain. 

This process is so simple that many people can do it on their own with a little instruction, if they are willing to try it. In fact, many people prefer to do it on their own and I prefer this because it teaches them that they can pray directly to the Lord without my assistance. There is nothing magical or special about my prayers; I have no special gift of healing or praying that brings the healing. The Lord is the Wonderful Counselor who hears our prayers and answers them when we learn to be honest with him and cast our cares upon Him as He has instructed us to do in His Word. 

Righteous Anger Released      19

A woman told me how she had overcome her drinking problem seven years earlier. She came from a very abusive home and drank to numb her feelings from her abusive childhood, but she wanted to quit drinking so she said that she prayed and asked "God to take that taste from me." She still had urges to drink when she felt badly but at those times she said she cried and poured her heart out to the Lord and told him, "I can't do it by myself but I don't want to drink anymore." In a short while she couldn't stand the taste of the alcohol and she has been abstinent for seven years now and no longer has any urges to drink. All this was done through prayer, without any treatment program or AA meetings! 

She still had a lot of anger, however, from her past abuse and from dealing with other family members. She was very angry at one of her sisters who had guardianship of their brother who was handicapped and who received a disability check. Her sister treated her brother badly, cussed and yelled at him, and left him unattended for hours when she went to casinos to spend his money on gambling. She also bought beer and drugs for her unemployed, drug-using, live-in boyfriend who treated her brother badly and yelled and cussed at him, but when he wanted something for himself his sister told him that he had no money and she could not afford it. This woman was extremely angry at her sister for neglecting and emotionally abusing her brother, but said that she would like to get rid of her anger. We made a list of 21 reasons for her anger and then she prayed and asked the Lord to take her anger from her. However, she said that she still felt angry at her sister, and she identified 6 more reasons for her anger and then she prayed again and asked the Lord to take her anger from her. After this she said she still felt angry and she identified 3 more reasons for her anger and she prayed again and asked the Lord to take her anger from her. She said she was still angry at her sister and she identified 2 more reasons for her anger and she prayed a fourth time and asked the Lord to take her anger from her. When I asked her how she felt toward her sister she said that she didn't feel any emotion, not even anger. She felt peaceful and calm after the fourth prayer. 

When someone prays and gives their anger to the Lord, He takes it from them, but if there is still some anger left it just means that you missed something or that something specific needs to be identified that upsets them still. Once it is all identified and given to the Lord, He takes it and replaces it with his peace. This woman had justified, righteous anger but the Lord took it from her so that she could experience His peace and so that she could do whatever was needed to correct the wrongs that were occurring and to help protect her brother from further abuse. Once we get rid of our anger we are able to experience God's peace and make good decisions about the wrongs that are occurring around us or to know how to deal wisely with individuals who are emotionally, verbally, or physically harming others. 

I'm Not Angry at Anyone Anymore      20

I prayed with a man who had brutally assaulted his wife a year ago when drunk and he received much healing for past anger. The couple was doing well and told me how well they were doing and his wife said she couldn't remember the last time they had a serious fight. He was very grateful for her and they were affectionate with one another. But one day she called and said they had a screaming argument after she waved at someone that he hated and he was so angry that she was afraid of him. 

When they came to see me I talked with this man and he told me why he was so angry at this individual his wife waved at. We made a list of six reasons for his anger and he prayed and gave it to the Lord and he was immediately released from his anger and he said he felt much better. He went on to tell me that he had lied to me about his father and had denied having any anger toward him. He told me what he had never even told his wife, that his father was extremely abusive to him as he grew up. When he was about 8 years old his father forced him to fight a boy much larger than him and the other boy beat him up. Then his father was enraged at him for losing the fight and took him outdoors and he said "my father beat me to a pulp in front of my friends." In addition, his father abused him every day until 5 years ago, verbally abused him, screamed at him at the top of his lungs, and called him vulgar names. We made a list of 9 major reasons for his anger toward his father and then we prayed and he told the Lord the reasons for his anger and he asked the Lord to take his anger and carry it for him. After the prayer he said, "I feel good; somethings been lifted. The anger is gone. I really feel good and my blood pressure has gone down." 

His wife, who stepped out of the room during our prayer, was amazed at the sudden change in his mood. He was able to talk about the person she waved at without any anger and he was smiling once again. Even I was so amazed at the sudden change that I felt a chill go through me as I witnessed the power of the Lord to set people free. A week later he told me that he was doing "real good" and he said, "I'm not angry at anyone anymore. I can't get mad." 

I get discouraged at times at the unbelief of fellow Christians who doubt this process and think that I am overstating the power of prayer. This is nothing short of a miracle and it makes me excited about the Lord to see how He is miraculously setting people free! What a God we serve! 

40 Years of Hatred Released     21

A woman told me how she hated the boarding school where she was sent to school by her mother. She was very close to her mother but her father was so abusive that her mother sent her and her younger brother and sister to an Indian boarding school for their protection. She worried about her mother and hated being separated from her but there were many other unhappy children at the school also who picked on others, called them names, and began beating them up. Initially, this woman said she just endured the abuse and was beat up by the other boys and girls but when she saw them ganging up on other children she began to protect them like she had tried to protect her mother from her father. The darker Indian kids picked on the lighter-skinned kids and were mean to them. One boy liked her and kissed her but then he was tormented by his peers so badly that he never spoke to her again. Her dislike for the school grew worse when her younger brother and sister were teased and picked on. After another girl slapped her sister and punched her in the mouth she waited for an opportunity and then beat her up. The other kids eventually quit bullying her after she began fighting back but they continued to tease her. In this environment the peer pressure was so great that she participated in a "party" in which everyone pitched in and bought some alcohol and then they snuck off and got drunk. Some of the boys took advantage of the girls and tried to take advantage of her but she refused, but they lied and claimed that they did and teased her about it. 

The staff at the school were not abusive to her but she hated their rules, having to get up so early and work so hard. "I hate that place," she said. I asked this woman if she would like to get rid of that anger and hatred and she said that she would. We made a list of 25 reasons for her anger and then we prayed and she told the Lord everything she hated about the school and asked Him to take her anger from her. After the prayer I asked her how she felt and she said, again, "I hate that place." I asked her what she hated the most about it now and she told me that she hated the name-calling, being ganged up on, not being able to see her mother, and that her little brother got whipped with a belt by a staff member. We prayed again and she named each of these resentments and asked the Lord to take her anger from her. I asked her, again, how she felt and she said, "I feel better; if I had not gone there I would not have finished school. I can see why mamma sent me there." She appeared calm and the tears stopped and she said that her anger was gone. She no longer felt the hatred toward the boarding school that she had carried for over 40 years. 

This woman endured a lot of abuse as a child and she never became abusive or abused any drugs or alcohol but her anger and hatred kept her upset and depressed and robbed her of the peace and joy that the Lord desired her to have. Each time she prays and releases more anger from her abusive past the more freedom she experiences, and the more she loves the Lord. If you carry any anger or hatred from your past, the Lord wants to lift that from you and set you free to enjoy His joy and peace! Please give it all to the Lord and ask Him to carry it for you.

I'm Free! It Feels Wonderful! I    22

Those were the words of a woman who had been angry at her mother for over 40 years. When I saw her a month earlier she said she was "miserable" with depression but after we prayed about the loss of her father she said she felt "happiness, peace, love, and joy." A month later she was still doing very well and confirmed that she felt no grief or sadness about the loss of her father, but she had a lot of anger toward her mother who had been very angry and abusive to her and her brother. She said that her mother was never loving or nurturing; she didn't even cook for them but made this woman take care of her younger siblings and made her work all the time. When she didn't do something right her mother slapped her. Her mother often threw objects at her, yelled at her, and beat her with belts, extension cords, paddles or anything she could find. This woman was so terrified of her mother that she often hid from her under her bed or in her closet. When she was molested one time she couldn't be honest with her mother about it so she kept this painful secret to herself. We made a list of 17 resentments she held toward her mother and then prayed and asked the Lord to take her anger from her. I asked the Lord what He wanted her to know and she said, "He said I was free." I asked her how she felt and she said, "I'm feeling peaceful; no anger. I feel love." We talked about this experience and how the Lord wants us to cast our burdens upon Him so He can replace our pain with HIs peace. Then, I asked, again, how she felt. She said, "I'm free; all that anger and resentment He has taken from me. It feels wonderful! I feel lighter. It's really amazing! Ah, I feel free!" This woman had carried her anger toward her mother for over 40 years and was set free from it by a simple prayer! What a God we have who wants to carry our burdens for us if we will simply cast our cares upon Him! 

Shocked Every Time He Prays    23

A young man came to me for help with an addiction to meth. We discussed his history and I explained to him how addictions were rooted in underlying feelings of grief, anger, and shame which could be resolved through prayer. He did not come from a Christian family but believed in prayer and was willing to try it on his own, so we made a list of 19 things he missed about his grandfather. The following week he told me that he prayed about his grandfather and he was "shocked at how quickly it went away." Then we prayed about some anger he had toward his father and after listing 14 resentments he allowed me to lead him in a prayer. The following week he told me that he had "been feeling really good" and he said he spoke to his father on the phone every day and he had no more anger toward him. We prayed together about the loss of a friend and afterwards he said he felt no more grief or sadness about him. 

The following week he told me that he was doing well but still was having urges for drugs so we discussed his anger toward his stepfather and made a list of 15 resentments he had toward him. After praying he said he felt no more anger toward him. He admitted that he had some anger toward his mother for taking his stepfather back after he cheated on her, and then he cheated on her again, so he prayed about this anger and gave it to the Lord. After this prayer he exclaimed, "That shocks me every time I do it [prays}! A sudden burst of happiness came over me!" He said that he felt happy and peaceful and could think about drugs without having any urges for them. He then said, "I think that being angry drove me to start using drugs!" 

This young man is exactly right. I have found that when addicts get rid of all their anger, grief, and feelings of shame they lose their urges to use drugs because they feel good. The Lord wants to set addicts free and does so when they give their burdens to Him and let Him replace their emotional pain with His peace, through prayer. May God teach each person reading this story to cast ALL their anger and grief upon Him and develop an intimate walk with Him each day by learning to "pray without ceasing" and listening to the "still, small voice" of the Lord as He brings comfort and truth to you to give you His joy and peace. 

Mom Never Hugged Me or Said She Loved Me   24

A man came for help with his anger which was damaging his marriage. He had received some healing previously but came determined to eliminate all his anger, which he had carried all his life. He told me how his mother clothed him and fed him and never physically abused him, but she never showed him any love or affection, either. She never hugged him or told him that she loved him and as a young child she ignored him when he tugged on her dress and tearfully asked her how Jesus could take his heart to heaven. She never had a kind word for him and never gave him any praise or encouragement. After opening Christmas presents she wanted the kids to get out of the house and stay outside. Even after this man was grown she called him insulting names and treated him with contempt, and when his wife died she seldom offerred to help him with his son. We made a list of eight resentments he had toward his mother and then we prayed. He told the Lord the reasons for his anger and asked Him to carry them for him. I asked the Lord what He wanted this man to know. He said, "Your mother sees and understands her mistakes. Forgive her, my son, as I forgave your mistakes." I asked him how he felt now and he said, "My knees and arms are relaxed. I don't feel any anger. I feel sorry for her; now she knows and understands her mistakes." 

His anger which he had carried for over 50 years was gone and he felt sorry for her! That is a miracle! He told me that he had been craving a large drink of whiskey for months but that since he had begun praying about his anger, that desire and urge was gone. He had the opportunity to take that drink just the day before but he felt no desire for it even though his wife was threatening to leave him. The Lord set him free from his anger and gave him peace and as he gets rid of all his anger there is a strong likelihood that his marriage will survive and he will bring glory to God in sharing with others how the Lord set him free from anger and saved his marriage! 

Man Forgives Third Grade Teacher   25

A man came for help with his anger identified his third grade teacher as one of the major sources of his anger. This teacher attended the same church as he did so he thought she would be kind to him but instead she was mean to him and never had a kind word for him or anyone else. Every time he read aloud she criticized the way he ended his sentences, saying that he ended them like a question rather than a statement. He became so anxious when reading in school due to her criticism that he began stuttering badly, not just in school but whenever he talked, and this led to a lot of embarrassment. His stuttering continued in college and he was so embarrassed that he couldn't look other students in the eye. 

It made him very angry to think about how much this one teacher damaged his self-esteem through her criticism of him in the third grade. We identified six reasons for his anger toward this teacher and he prayed and told the Lord these reasons, then he asked the Lord to take his anger from him. After giving his anger to the Lord he said that this teacher was a lonesome, sick, mean person who never smiled. He still felt some anger toward her as he thought about her. He said that he had suffered his entire life because of her and it upset him that she went to his church and yet was so mean to him. He thought she would like him since they went to the same church but, instead, he believed she just didn't like him for some reason. We identified five more reasons for his anger and prayed about them and gave each of the to the Lord. After giving his anger to the Lord for the second time, he said, "My arms and legs are relaxed" and he said that he felt "very calm and relaxed." However, it still bothered him to think how much more he could have done in his life if it had not been for this teacher. We prayed a third time and he gave this anger to the Lord and sincerely asked Him to take it from him. I asked the Lord what He wanted this man to know. " It's over, my son; it's over. Remember Job and Abraham and how I made them successful in their later years. How much more can I do for you." He said that he felt very calm and he could feel the Holy Spirit and he said, "Like He said, it's all over. I feel relaxed. If I met her on the street I could speak to her now." His anger was so intense that it took three prayers before it was all gone but he had 100% peace and calm after carrying this anger for over 50 years. Is that not a miracle? What a thrill it is to see the Lord set people free from anger like this and to see how He fills them with his Spirit when they give their anger to Him!

 "I Can Breathe Again" (Contributed by Nicole Mann from Nashville, TN)    26

Tonight’s revival topic was anger. Jim, Josh and I shared how when we give our anger to the Lord, He will carry it every single time. All we have to do is be completely honest with him about the anger, listing all the specifics of why we are angry, and then ask the Lord to carry it for us. Jim invited anyone who would like to get rid of their anger to come forward.

During a break in the revival, a lady came forward who was interested in emotional healing through prayer. She shared how she was experiencing intense anger over her husband who suddenly left her one day. Jim asked her if she would be willing to get rid of her anger through prayer. She agreed and she and I went into a private room to pray. I asked her what emotion she felt when she thought of her husband. She placed her hand up under her chin while touching her neck, “I have had anger up to here every day since he left over a year ago. I feel like I’m choking every day. It’s hard to breathe.” Tearfully, she continued to explain that she had discovered that her husband had lied to her many times and that he had a fake ID. He claimed to be a preacher, but he verbally and sexually abused her often. She made a list of 23 resentments. I led her in a prayer where she gave each one of those resentments to the Lord and then asked Him to replace it with His Peace. After a few seconds of silence, I asked for her to think about her husband and to tell me how she felt. She said she still felt angry because one day she discovered he drank beer in their garage with a young relative of theirs and that was not right to mislead this young man in such a way, especially since her husband claimed to be a preacher. So I led her into prayer again where she gave that resentment to the Lord and asked Him to carry it and replace it with His Peace. I asked her how she felt and she said “different “, and a smile grew on her face as she explained how “a big lightness” came over her. I asked her if she felt any anger at all in regards to her husband. She said “no”. 

I then asked the Lord if there was anything he wanted this woman to know. She said “He’s sad. He thinks he’s not worthy. He’s not even considering Jesus. He’s unsure of himself, he just thinks, and he’s hurt.” I asked her if she had any negative emotions at all when she thinks of him. She smiled saying she only felt Peace and chuckled. Then she said with confidence and peace in her voice. “I just know one thing. He needs to work on himself with God.” I asked her how she felt again. She said, “I can breathe again!” We laughed out loud in celebration together….celebrating in her freedom! I walked into a room with a woman heavy-burdened with weary eyes, and within 30 minutes… I left the room with a woman with eyes that sparkled of hope, whose face was full of smiles, laughter and glowing with Joy! That’s a miracle! That’s Jesus! 

Set Free from 15 Years of Anger at Ex: It's Really Gone! An Update: (See original story, below)   27

I wanted to give you an update on me. I haven't been able to come back to the meetings because of school starting and my son plays in the band and we go to watch him. But I wanted you to know God is amazing and has truly taken away my anger toward my children's father. My anger has stayed gone. Sometimes, when something happens I might have a twinge of something, but in my next breath I remember God willingly took this anger from me and then its gone. And!!! Its REALLY GONE! I can spend my energy on my voice, the tone and the words I choose, while the kids and I are discussing whatever it is that is upsetting them in regards to their dad. I actually find myself thinking of reasons why he would say or do what he is saying or doing. I am careful not to give excuses, I have never done that. Since I prayed to let this anger go, out of nowhere my Ex sent my oldest girl (in college) $290.00 to repay her for what she paid on her spring tuition and the rest "just because". Unfortunately my oldest daughter is holding on to anger and pain and frustration toward her dad and is not interested in letting it go. I am praying for God to break down her barriers so she can be humbled to let it all go. I am praying she will soften and want to let go. Thank you again for being obedient to God and His call in your life to help others. I will keep praying my girl will have the "want" to let go and let God. I also want you to know you may use my testimony. And I hope to be able to return to the meetings. Thank you again and may God bless you

Set Free from 15 Years of Anger at Ex: (See update, above)     28

A woman came to a Set Free meeting and asked for prayer for her anger toward her Ex-husband. She said that her friends and family used to compliment her on her "warm and fuzzy voice" but she had become bitter and angry after her divorce 15 years earlier. While married her husband was emotionally abusive and used the Bible as a weapon and told her to be submissive to him, then he had multiple affairs. After their divorce he spitefully told her that he never loved her or wanted to marry her. He was irresponsible and never provided financial support for her and their children so she had to raise the children alone for many years, which was a severe burden and stress. He treated their daughter terribly because she looked so much like her and he even challenged her faith when he was with her, but he spoiled their son and treated him like a king so he became very egotistical. In spite of his financial and neglect and emotional abuse of his children he acted like a doting father in public so everyone would think he was a good father. Fifteen years of this treatment had made this woman resentful instead of warm and cheerful as she had previously been. I asked her if she would like to get rid of this anger and she said that she would. 

I explained that the first step was to just be honest and to identify all her resentments toward her husband, which we had just done. The second step was to tell the Lord her resentments and ask Him to take them from her and she was willing to do this. So, I led her in a prayer and told the Lord why she was so angry at her X, then she asked the Lord to take her anger from her and carry it for her. Afterwards, I asked her how she felt and she said, "I'm free of this. I'm at peace." I asked her if she felt any anger and she said she had no more anger but she had some sadness that her X is missing out on some amazing kids, that her kids don't get to see their little sister, and that they have started becoming angry. We prayed about this sadness and she gave it to the Lord. After that she said that she felt, "Neutral, calm, and relaxed." 

Since then she has repeatedly affirmed that she is still peaceful and calm about her ex-husband and has no more anger toward him and her "warm and fuzzy" voice has come back. She was set free from 15 years of anger in a single prayer session! Wouldn't it be wonderful to see every divorced person in our churches set free from their anger like this and give glory to God for setting them free! Wouldn't it be even better if churches regularly taught their members how to resolve their anger so that they never got divorced in the first place? Pray with me for this truth to spread to churches everywhere. 

Visual Picture Helps Woman Release Anger    29

Anger is a fact-based emotion so it simply requires the person to be completely honest about the reasons for their anger and to give their resentments to the Lord in prayer. Truth is not required for freedom but the Lord often brings truth to people after they release their anger so I regularly pray for them and ask the Lord if there is anything He wants them to know. Sometimes they receive some truth that helps them release some other feeling or gives them some more peace and comfort as it did with a woman I prayed with recently. This woman had prayed previously about some anger she had toward her father and she had received some relief. But she still felt more anger and irritation than she wanted toward her five children and she didn't like this so she asked to meet with me for some prayer. After some discussion there was no indication of another source of her anger so we talked more about her father and she explained that he was always very negative, critical, and judgmental and she felt she could never please him. He sometime made racial jokes and off-color jokes that bothered her, he criticized his wife who was very sweet and gentle and he made degrading comments to her that bothered her. Although he never physically abused his wife or children, her father had a lot of anger and sometimes was mean to their pets and sometimes said violent things that upset this woman. We made a list of 14 reasons for her anger and prayed and released them. But she still felt some anger towards her father so we made another list of 12 more reasons for her anger and she prayed and gave them to the Lord and asked Him to carry them for her. I prayed and asked the Lord if there was anything He wanted her to know. She said, "I see Jesus on the cross and I'm holding a treasure box offering it to Jesus." She wasn't sure what the visual picture meant but it bothered her that He could not reach out and take the box so I prayed again and asked if there was anything else He wanted her to know. She immediately said, "Oh, cool! He told me to look inside the box." She said she looked inside the box and it was empty, then He said, "Keep that box and look inside when you're reminded of these things. I died for it and took it." 

I was amazed that all of these thoughts and pictures happened in a split second! I asked her how she felt toward her father now and she said she loved him and she felt no more negative feelings. She just felt neutral. The visual picture of Jesus gave her some peace in knowing that she had emptied herself of her anger and that He had taken it all away. Later, this woman informed me that she asked the Lord why she saw a treasure box and not a regular box and He told her that it needed to be something that would not be forgotten and shoved in a corner. It needed to be easily found again so she could pull it out and look in it again and again so she could be reminded. This woman is not a charismatic Christian, nor am I, but I often pray with people who have visual pictures that the Lord uses to bring comfort or to bring some needed truth. "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our afflictions so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction" (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). 

Totally Transformed by Release of Anger    30

A young lady came to me who had a serious drug addiction. I explained how she could be set free from her addiction through prayer and she stated that she went to church and prayed but that she had a lot of anger and depression that led her to abuse drugs. She said that she would like to get rid of her anger so she explained why she was so angry at her mother. She was very close to her mother as a child but her mother developed a serious drug addiction and her drugs became more important than her daughter. This young lady felt unloved and neglected and had to be raised by her grandmother. When she became an adult her mother became very jealous of her relationship with her grandmother, she criticized her, told her she was stupid, and said that she was spoiled. We made a list of 18 resentments and then she prayed and asked the Lord to take her anger from her. I asked her how she felt when she thought about her mother and she said, "Relieved; I just remember the good times." She said that she felt very calm and peaceful in her heart. I asked her what she thought about this prayer process and she said, "It really does work!" 

When I saw her a month later she said that she had not used any drugs and had been talking a lot with her mother and getting along better. She told me that she had begun watching the sunset and the stars and talking to God about everything that happened each day, and she said, "I feel like a weight's been lifted off my shoulders" and "on the inside I am so happy!" I asked her about her depression and she said, "I'm not really depressed anymore." She went out to dinner with her brother whom she felt had abandoned her and she reconnected with him, and she also spoke to her former boyfriend and resolved things so that they were friends again. She said, " I never thought I could get over my anger toward him!" 

This young woman was totally transformed by releasing her anger toward her mother. Anger is a serious problem that leads to a lot of problems including addictions, relationship problems, and criminal behavior but people can be set free by simply being honest about their resentments toward someone, and then asking the Lord to take their anger from them. When we obey His word by releasing our anger, He sets us free and transforms us, like this young lady. What an awesome God we have who sets the captives fre

Parents' Divorce Leads to 38 Years of Anger    31

We had a great seminar on Saturday, August 24th, at the LBA office! Two men drove all the way from Wichita, Kansas for the seminar and one of them said that he came because he needed emotional healing. After the seminar about twenty people remained behind to observe a prayer session with this man who said that his friends told him that he had an anger problem. 

He stated that he was the oldest of five children and that his parents fought a lot but they took him to church and remained together until he was 17. When he was age 17 his mother admitted that she was having an affair and his parents divorced, which was devastating to this young man and his younger siblings. While his mother ran off with another man, his father struggled to raise the 5 children on his own. He could no longer afford their home so they had to move to a "dilapidated" home. His mother never expressed any remorse for how she had destroyed their family and she eventually had affairs with many other men, which was very embarrassing to this young man. He became so angry at his mother that he refused to see her or talk with her for 20 years. He had two sisters that lived with their mother who were deeply damaged by her as well. We made a list of 12 resentments this man had for his mother. I asked him if he would like to get rid of his anger and he said that would, so I led him in a prayer, telling the Lord what he resented about his mother. He was so overwhelmed with emotion that it was difficult for him to pray but he eventually told the Lord everything he resented about his mother and asked the Lord to take it from him. I asked him afterwards how he felt about his mother and he said, "I feel sorry for her. She doesn't know what she has done. I feel no anger." ("Father, forgive them, for they know not what they are doing"). 

The friend who came with this man was amazed at the power of God to set him free from his anger so quickly. On their way back to Kansas they drove through Oklahoma City and with his new-found freedom he stopped to see his sister whom he had not seen or talked to for 15 years! What a miracle to see such things happen! How I wish that every church would teach their members how to be set free from their anger and grief and experience the freedom and peace that the Lord wants them to have. It would probably start a revival! 

Miracles in Mexico   32

My wife and I are still on our cruise and I have had some great opportunities here. The first night on the cruise I was sitting in the dining room late at night and got into a conversation with one of the crew members working there. Her name is Olivia and she is from Indonesia and as we talked I told her how she could get rid of any anger through prayer. She told me that she was angry at her father for being unfaithful to her mother, he was a neglectful father, and he had other children toward whom he shows more love and caring. We made a list of 11 things she resented about her father, then she asked God to take her anger from her and carry it for her. Afterwards, I asked her how she felt and she told me that she just loved him and she felt like giving him a hug. Since her was not there on the ship she asked if she could give me a hug! Each day I see her and she says she has no more anger toward her father. 

The following evening I was sitting in the same spot in the dining room, reading my Bible. A young man came up to me and said, "Something told me to talk to you." He asked what I was reading and I told him the Bible. He was not a Christian or Bible reader so I explained that I enjoy reading the Bible so much because I see how God is able to take our anger and grief from us and give us peace. I asked him if he had lost anyone close to him and he said he had not, but when I asked him if he had lost any girlfriends he said he had recently broken up with his girlfriend. He said that she was still hung up on a former boyfriend named John, and she even called him "John" at one point. He was angry at her for lying to him and he lost his trust in her. We made a list of 8 reasons for his anger, then he prayed and gave it to the Lord and asked Him to take it from him. Afterwards, he said that he felt love for her and had no more anger. His eyes were tearful at the sudden change and I asked him if he was 100% sure that he was going to heaven. He was not but he said he would like to be, so I shared the gospel with him using the booklet, "How to Overcome Doubts," and he received the Lord as his Savior! I also shared with him how to be set free from his obsession with his girlfriend if she is untrustworthy, by giving his grief to God and asking Him to take his sadness from him. 

This young man left smiling, with a lighter heart and a joyful heart, knowing that he is going to heaven when he dies. This prayer ministry is a wonderful tool to use to reach others for the Lord, because once they experience God's power to set them free from their emotional burdens their heart opens up to Him. What a privilege and joy it is to share God's goodness with others!! Share it with someone today! 

I Thought I Had Changed    33

A man told me that he had just been released from prison where he had given his life to Jesus. He studied the Bible, took Bible correspondence courses, and took every class available in his effort to break free from his past, but the first day that he was free he fell into sin and was devastated because he thought he had changed. He poured out his heart and told me very candidly about his past, how he had been molested several times as a child and had been beaten violently by his father and hurt by women and in spite of his sincere desire to follow Jesus he was struggling with feelings of anxiety, guilt, anger, and shame. He said that he knew that his wife loved him and was faithful to him but he sometimes was overwhelmed with suspicions that she was seeing another man. He told me that it was causing him to doubt his faith and he poured out his heart and pleaded for help from me. 

Many people, like this man, struggle with sinful urges and are overwhelmed with their emotions, even after they have genuinely received Jesus as their Savior and dedicated their lives to following Him. Even the apostle Paul said, "For what I am doing I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate." Paul went on to say, "Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (Romans 7:15, 24, 25). He then explains in the following chapter that we must learn to walk in the Spirit and set our minds on the Spirit in order to overcome our "flesh." I shared with this man that he was indeed a "new creature" and this was reflected in his desire to do right and to follow the Lord, but that he still has the old mind which needs to be renewed. I explained how the Lord wants to renew his mind and set him free from his past so that he is no longer in bondage to it and I encouraged him to begin by eliminating all anger from his past. 

We discussed his feeling toward his father who had been so abusive to him, who never showed him any love or told him that he loved him, who broke his mother's heart through his infidelity, and who verbally abused him every day of his life. We made a list of his resentments toward his father and he tearfully identified 30 specific resentments he had, then we prayed and he asked the Lord to take his anger from him and carry it for him. When we finished praying I asked him how he felt as he thought about his father. He said that he felt no anger toward him; he just felt "sorry for him" because he was so unhappy and had so many problems. He laughed as he recalled trying to be honest with his father as an adult and his father blamed him for the harmful things that happened to him. He began to smile as he talked about his freedom from his anger toward his father. He commented about how simple it was and he was filled with hope that he could be set free from his past and his emotional bondage through Jesus and prayer. 

This man's struggle is typical for many believers who sincerely desire to break free from their past and from emotional bondage. In Biblical terms, this is the issue of sanctification and how we can become more like Christ after we have become a child of God. Many believers turn to the church and to their spiritual leaders but find no help from them, and they begin having doubts about their own salvation and then they turn to mental health professionals who tell them that they have a brain disorder or chemical imbalance and they need to be on psychiatric medications. But the Lord is the Wonderful Counselor and He heals broken hearts and sets the captives free as they learn to cast all their cares upon Him and turn to HIm for truth to set them free. "Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (Romans 7:24, 25). 

Lost Faith Restored through Prayer    34

I saw a man in the local jail yesterday who was waiting for a chance to talk. He told me how his wife left him, she began abusing their children and prostituting herself, and how his elderly mother was suffering and needed his help. He said, "I hate to say this but I don't think I even believe in God anymore; I pray and he never answers my prayers. I don't think He even exists." I told him that we all have times of difficulties and doubts but asked him if he had any feelings of anger or grief that he could not overcome. He said that he did, then I asked him, "If I could show you how to get rid of your anger and grief through prayer, would you believe that God is real?" Again, he said that he would. 

We sat down at a table and I asked him who he was angry at and he told me he was angry at his mother. He said that she abandoned him at age 13, picked a man over him, never called him for 5 years while living in the same town, and she began using drugs with this man. I asked him if he would like to get rid of that anger and he said he would, so I explained that he needed to do two things. First, he needed to be completely honest about the reasons for his anger and then, secondly, he needed to tell the Lord why he was angry and sincerely ask the Lord to take his anger from him. He identified four reasons for his anger and then I led him in a prayer, asking the Lord to take his anger from him and carry it for him. I prayed for him and asked the Lord, "Lord, what do you want this man to know right now?" "It's going to be okay; she does love me. I need to be the adult and love her back," he said. He began to smile and I asked him how he felt now about his mother. "I love her, I miss her. I don't feel any anger anymore." 

Now that he was past his anger, I focused on his feelings of grief and what he missed about her. He told me that he missed his mother always being his strongest supporter, and always thought that he was the best, was handsome, smart, and funny. He missed seeing her pretty, long, blonde hair, hearing her voice and laughter, seeing her smile, talking with her, and hearing her favorite music playing. He also missed the gifts she used to give him, going for walks with her, watching movies with her, and he missed her love and affection. We made a list of 13 things he missed about her then we prayed again and asked the Lord to take his sadness and grief from him. When we finished he said that his sadness and painful longing were gone and he felt love and peace toward his mother. We also talked about his ex-wife and what he missed about her and the Lord took his grief and sadness for the loss of his wife and replace it with His peace. When we were done he said that he had no more sadness or pain; he just felt calmness and love for his ex-wife. I asked him what he thought about these answers to prayer and asked if he believed in God. He smiled and said he did. 

We then talked about his salvation and he thought that he was saved but was not 100% sure so I shared with him how to be 100% sure. I led him in a prayer to receive the Lord as his Savior! When we were finished he was no longer downtrodden; he was cheerful and smiling and full of hope. He thanked me and assured me that he was certain of his salvation. He asked me for a Bible and for a copy of "Trading Pain for Peace" for himself and his cellmate so they could study it together. What a God we have who answers prayers and sets the captives free! The key is knowing how to pray effectively with people so they can receive emotional healing. Please join me and look for an opportunity to pray with someone today who is struggling with anger or grief, and share it with me if you have such an opportunity so I can rejoice with you and share it with others. 

Wife Releases Anger Toward Cheating Husband   35

A woman told me that she knew she needed to forgive her husband for his infidelity but that it was very difficult because of his attitude. She said that he treated her well and was very nice to her the first several years of their marriage but then one day she saw him with a young woman in his car and she confronted him about it. He denied he was having an affair for three weeks until his wife suddenly developed an STD which she could not have gotten from any other source. Her husband finally admitted his infidelity but this completely destroyed her trust in him and destroyed her desire for any affection or intimacy with him. "I had my heart ripped out again" about five years later, she told me, when a church friend told her that her husband was having another affair with a woman who lived next door to this friend's sister. When she confronted her husband again, he denied it again, but when the evidence was presented to him he eventually confessed his infidelity with another town prostitute. She said she was so angry at him that she would have shot him if she'd had a gun. She told him to leave and they separated at that time and have remained separated but she has been so depressed and angry that she has been unable to hold down a job since then and every time she drives by where the other woman works her gut wrenches. 

This woman stated that she still talks to him and he tells her that he asked God to forgive him and she needs to, also. He picks at her faults, blames everything on her, and tells her that she is not acting like a Christian because she is still angry at him. He also brags about his affair and laughs about it, but tells her that she has sinned a lot more than him and that he has not caught up with her yet on his sinning. These comments just further enraged her but she knew that she needed to forgive him. I asked her if she would like to get rid of her anger if she could, and she said "Yes." We made a list of 20 things she resented about her husband and then I led her in a prayer to tell the Lord why she was angry. She ended the prayer saying, "Lord, I'm tired of being angry so right now I choose to give it to you and ask you to take it from me and carry it for me." After this prayer I asked her how she felt and she said, "I feel better. I don't feel anything right now." I reminded her of the many things she said she resented about her husband then asked her again how she felt. She said, "I feel at ease; there's no anger." I asked her what she thought about this and she said, "It's great! To me that's a miracle! 

People say its a miracle when someone with cancer gets well, but this is a real miracle." It is, indeed, a miracle to see someone with justified anger like this woman had, who was able to supernaturally release it through prayer. The Lord wants to set each of us free from all of our justified anger so that we can experience His peace and serve Him with all our heart. Do you have any justified anger that you are carrying right now? If so, be completely honest with the Lord about everything you resent about that person, then say a simple prayer, telling Him why you are angry and then ask Him to take it from you and carry it for you. Watch what happens and share with your friends the miracle that takes place in your heart. He will set you free, indeed! 

Set Free from Impact of Murdered Son   36

At the Set Free seminar in Wichita, in August, I prayed with a woman named Jendy. She volunteered for prayer in front of a large group of people because she was so desperate for help, and she gave me permission to share this story. Seven months ago her 22-year-old son was murdered by a young man who was showing off for a girl. Her son laid in the street bleeding to death while the police chased down the murderer. Jendy not only lost her son but she attended the murder trial and was outraged at the behavior of this young murderer and his family. The murderer was crying and feeling sorry for himself because he was sentenced to 18 years in prison and his mother and brother were shouting out in court saying, "I love you, son" and "I love you bro," but Jendy will never be able to hug her son again or tell him that she loves him. I have prayed for many other people who lost loved ones through murder and there are usually feeling of grief, sadness, anger and shame. 

I asked Jendy what the strongest emotion was that she had and she said she felt guilt and shame, so we focused on the shame, first. Her shame was based on her beliefs that "I should have been there; I should have told him not to go to Topeka; I should have prayed more for him," so I prayed and asked the Lord what He wanted her to know. She had the thoughts come to her mind, "It's not my fault; It's ok, it's ok; He's okay." With those thoughts from the Lord she said that she felt less shame and guilt. We talked next about her feelings of grief and she identified 21 things she missed about her son. She said that she missed his silliness, his helpfulness, his love for his children, talking to him, being with him, his phone calls, and his love and affection. I asked her if she was willing to give these feelings to the Lord and she did not, because she was afraid that God would test her like Job and take another child from her. I prayed for truth from the Lord but she received no truth, which usually means the person's anger is interfering. So I turned to her anger at the murderer, but she was afraid that if she released her anger, the murderer would be okay and she would be unloyal to her son, both of which were lies from the enemy. I prayed and asked the Lord for truth and the Lord told her, "Vengeance is Mine; Let it go!" We made a list of 11 reasons for her anger but she would not give it to the Lord because she believed that if she let go of anything "I'll lose my son." I prayed for truth and the Lord told her, "It's not true." She finally prayed and gave her anger to the Lord and then said that she felt less anger. 

This process took a long time and many of the observers had to leave so I gave them permission to leave and we then focused on her feelings of sadness because Tino was too young to die, he left two children behind, he will never fulfill his life goals, and he and his mother had not spoken for 11 months before his death. She prayed and gave her sadness to the Lord. We had to pray twice to eliminate all the sadness and afterwards she said she felt joy. She began smiling and said that she felt very peaceful and calm and had no more sadness. The following week her father died and she had to deal with another loss but a week later she texted her friend who brought her for prayer and said, "Elaine...I feel sooo much lighter inside since praying with Jim!" She texted me several days ago and told me that she is doing well. Isn't God amazing how he cares for us and bears our burdens for us? Even when we have severe traumas, like Jendy, the Lord wants us to experience His peace so that we will learn to walk with Him every day and stay close to Him. 

Woman Feels Tons Lighter after Releasing Anger    37

I saw a woman who admitted that she had a lot of anger toward her father. She heard me speak about how to be set free from anger and she asked me to pray with her about her anger that had gotten her into a lot of trouble. I explained that she needed to do two things in order to get rid of her anger. First, I told her that she needed to be honest about her anger and make a list of everything she resented about her father. She told me that he tried to kill her mother when she was pregnant with her in order to cause an abortion. Then he never loved her or wanted her and he showed her brother a lot of favoritism. She said that her father was insanely jealous, he was violent, he gave up his parental rights to her, he never paid child support for her, and eventually he murdered her stepmother and was sentenced to life in prison, which left her brother without any parent to raise him. This woman made a list of 17 things she resented about her father then I told her that the second step she needed to take was to tell the Lord these resentments and ask Him to take them from her. I led her in a prayer and she told the Lord everything she resented about her father and then prayed, "I'm tired of carrying this anger so I ask you to please take it from me and carry it for me, in Jesus' name." When we finished praying I asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted her to know. She said, "He didn't want me to begin with. I don't have to worry about this anymore." I asked her how she felt and she said, "I feel sorry for him. He'll never know my children or my brother's children. He'll never know his grandchildren." I asked her what emotions she felt and she said, "I need to pray for him. I don't feel any anger or sadness. That's pretty amazing! I feel tons lighter!" 

How wonderful it is that Jesus wants to carry our burdens for us so we don't have to! This woman has had a rough life and been in legal problem due to her anger and her violent upbringing, but now her burden has been lifted from her and she has been set free from this anger! What an awesome God we have! 

Youth Director Finds Peace and Shares It  (Contributed by Judy Day)    38

As a child Natalie was righteously angry at her father due to the abuse she endured. Now, as an adult she continued to carry her anger. Although, she was given copies of Dr. Gardner's booklets on Anger, Grief, and Shame she hadn't taken the time, or had the interest, to read them and apply them to herself. One day while driving her car she became so angry while thinking about her father and remembering her childhood that she stopped the car, got out the Anger booklet, made a list of the reasons for her anger, and gave it to the Lord. She was immediately set free from her anger and received His peace! She is a youth director at her church so after she experienced Jesus removing her anger and giving her His peace she wanted the youth to experience it, too. She asked the Lord for a hands-on way for the teens to experience this. He told her to have each youth hold two soup cans at arms length while she taught the lesson about how to overcome anger. The cans represented the anger they felt towards someone and they were not allowed to lower the cans during the 45-minute talk! Of course, the cans got very heavy and became a huge burden! She used this to illustrate what a huge burden their anger was to them. After the lesson, the teens spent the next 30 minutes writing down their resentments and then releasing them to Jesus in exchange for His peace. She received the peace of God; the teens also received God's peace. This lady was so excited about this experience that she said, "Please share this with other people!" 

Twenty Years of Anger Gone in Twenty Minutes    39

A woman asked for prayer regarding her anger. She and her husband had attended church for many years but they fought so often that their oldest child told them that they needed to divorce. She admitted that she had a lot of anger toward her father that was probably interfering and she said that she would like to eliminate it, but she quickly added that she loved her father. I asked her what she resented about her father and she very quickly cited a list of abusive actions including beating her mother "to a pulp," scalding her mother with hot coffee, smothering her until she went unconscious and then reviving her with smelling salts. She said that her father beat her and her siblings with 2 x 4s and anything else he could find to use, he molested her sisters, and he verbally and emotionally abused them all. She stated that she was angry that he treats her siblings better than her, he denies that he was abusive to them, and he called them "liars" for saying that he was abusive. We made a list of 20 resentments she had for her father. I asked her if she would like to get rid of her anger and she said she would, so I led her in a prayer and she gave all her anger to the Lord and asked Him to take it from her and carry it for her. I prayed a brief prayer and asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted her to know; she said, "He was always with me whatever I went through." 

I asked her to think about her father and tell me how she felt now. She said, "I feel lighter; I don't feel so heavy." She said that she felt no anger and when I asked her why she said, "I know he loves me and his abuse was due to the way he was treated." She was tearful but said these were tears of relief and joy and she couldn't even think about the abusive things he had done to her. This woman had been carrying this anger for 15 to 20 years and yet she was able to release it in about 20 minutes. She left smiling and rejoicing in the goodness and power of God. Such dramatic, immediate relief from anger as the result of prayer is truly a miracle! God loves to do such miracles to set captives free and to show His power to radically transform their lives. He can radically transform your life, too, if you will be completely honest about your anger and give it to Him. 

Set Free from Impact of Suicide    40

My wife and I went on a cruise last week and I had many opportunities to pray with people and to share this ministry with them. I spoke with two couples in the dining room who were curious about what I did. I explained how I help people be set free from feelings of grief, anger, and shame through prayer. I asked if any of them had any grief that they would like to get rid of. One of the women said that she had a close friend who committed suicide two months ago and she still thinks about it about 11 times each day. She told me that it makes her angry that her friend never reached out to her or anyone before she ended her life, and she left behind four children, 3 grandchildren, and a new husband. Her suicide hurt all of these children and many friends and it made this woman angry that she was so selfish. It also made her mad that the woman was a nurse and she stole some medication and injected it into herself, so it was a systematic, planned suicide and yet no one knew she was depressed or suicidal. All of this made her very angry at her friend's selfishness. We prayed about her anger and she told the Lord why she was angry; then she asked the Lord to take her anger and carry it for her. I prayed and asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted her to know; she said, "I feel peace and It's not my fault." I asked her if she felt any anger toward her friend and she said "No." Her anger was gone, her feelings of guilt were gone, and she just smiled and said she felt peaceful. Suicides can profoundly impact people, leaving deep emotional scars from anger, grief, and feelings of shame, but the Lord can set us free from all of these scars and replace our pain with His peace! He is an awesome God! 

Homosexual Inmate Releases Anger Toward Mother    41

I asked an inmate in the local county jail if he was 100% sure that he was going to heaven. He said that he was about 80% sure because he had received Jesus into his heart but he was a practicing homosexual. He said that he had tried to give up his sexual interest and had prayed about it but God never delivered him from his interest in other men, and he was not sure he wanted to give it up now. 

We discussed the most common underlying emotional issues that lead to such "gender confusion." He told me that his father left when he was about 4 years old and then his stepfather also left his mother when this man was very young, so he felt a lack of male acceptance, and he admitted that he held some "grudges" against his mother. He also admitted that he had been molested as a child, which affected his attitude toward himself and males. I asked him if he would like to get rid of his resentments toward his mother and he initially said he did not because he felt he needed to protect himself but then he said that he would like to. He told me that he resented his mother for being married seven times and failing at each marriage, but continuing to pursue men. She refused to admit that she was the problem in her marriages; she blamed this son for her pregnancy with him and resented him being a burden on her. She even told this man that she tried to abort him but failed, then she abandoned him when he was 15 years old and chose another man over him. We made a list of 14 resentments he held toward her and then I led him in a prayer in which he asked the Lord to take his anger from him. When I asked him how he felt toward his mother he said that he felt "disgusted" toward her because of her lack of responsibility, her increasing irresponsibility, her loss of her job due to stealing, her feelings of entitlement, and her lack of desire to change. We prayed a second time and gave these five resentments to the Lord. I asked him, again, how he felt toward his mother. He said that he still felt angry because his mother tries to run her children's lives when she failed so miserably at her own life, she tells her children that they should never get married because they are incapable of handling it, and she seems to want her children to fail in their marriages. We prayed a third time and he gave these three additional resentments to the Lord. After this third prayer I asked him how he felt toward his mother and he said, "I feel bad for her. She's not happy. She has missed out on her life." He told me that he was no longer angry at her; he just felt sorry for her! He said that he felt very peaceful and calm when thinking about his mother and no longer felt any anger or disgust toward her. He also said that he realized that she was a very unhappy person whose mother was a very poor mother to her. 

We talked about how the Lord wants to set him free from his negative emotions and that as he is set free he will be able to have normal emotions for women and not be disgusted at the thought of being affectionate toward them. He also admitted that he lost his father and stepfather and had a lot of other losses that made him fearful of being close to people and losing them. We talked about his need to resolve these losses so that he would not be afraid of an intimate relationship with a woman, and his need to resolve the feelings of shame that resulted from his molestation as a child. 

Homosexuality is not a genetic condition; it is rooted in unresolved feelings of grief, anger, and shame that disrupt a person's natural attraction toward the opposite sex and leads them to crave love and acceptance from their same sex. Sexual attention from a same-sex friend is easily mistaken for love and acceptance when a person lacks a good relationship with their same-sex parent. This man acknowledged that his sexual behavior was not pleasing to the Lord, and he may be saved, but he can never have joy or peace in his life when he is living in sin, any more than a heterosexual man can enjoy a close walk with the Lord if he is living in adultery or is in bondage to pornography. He was encouraged to continue to pray about his anger, his grief, and his feelings of shame, so that he can be set free from his negative feelings and from his compulsive sexual behavior that made him feel good momentarily but increased his feelings of shame and guilt. The Lord is capable of setting homosexuals free from their guilt, shame, anger and grief and filling them with joy and peace and a normal desire for intimacy with the opposite-sex. 

From Suicidal Depression to Peace    42

A friend texted me and told me that she was concerned about her mother who was so angry at her husband and depressed that she was feeling suicidal. She had given her mother a copy of my book, "Trading Pain for Peace" but her mother said she had tried to pray and it didn't help her. The daughter volunteered to pray with her but she did not want to disclose her personal issues regarding her husband to her and she didn't want to talk with a stranger over the phone. A few minutes later she excitedly texted me the following messages: "Praise His name! Miracle here! Mother took her anger to the Lord... anger at God and dad... before I had a chance to even get over there! I walked inside her house and she looked completely different from the suicidal, inconsolable woman I had just heard over the phone not more than an hour earlier. She and dad were in the kitchen. She seemed "light," was smiling and content, and laughed as well. When dad left the house she shared with me what she had done! She listed her anger toward God and dad and asked Him to carry it. Then she asked Him if there was anything He wanted her to know. She felt His complete peace as she heard, "Just love. You can't go wrong with love." Then the Scripture came to her mind, "Faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love." 

A few minutes later she excitedly texted me the following messages: "Praise His name! Miracle here! Mother took her anger to the Lord... anger at God and dad... before I had a chance to even get over there! I walked inside her house and she looked completely different from the suicidal, inconsolable woman I had just heard over the phone not more than an hour earlier. She and dad were in the kitchen. She seemed "light," was smiling and content, and laughed as well. When dad left the house she shared with me what she had done! She listed her anger toward God and dad and asked Him to carry it. Then she asked Him if there was anything He wanted her to know. She felt His complete peace as she heard, "Just love. You can't go wrong with love." Then the Scripture came to her mind, "Faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love." I said, "That's a miracle to go from talking about killing yourself to complete peace just after talking to Him and asking Him to carry it! She said with a chuckle, "Well, I know I'm okay for today. I don't know what tomorrow will look like, but today I'm okay. It just seems so simple to do. "Love! Love not just your dad but everybody, my children, etc!!!" and she just laughs with NO heaviness. The Lord took it! She is going to stay with my sister for a couple of days who lives on the lake. Mom loves the water. She said if there is anymore anger that comes up she will list it as she overlooks the still waters.  

And she mentioned that probably living in a lie for so long will need to surface. But she just smiled...with such HOPE! Thank you so much for praying for mother and for ALL those He leads to you! One last thing I wanted to share about mother. She just called to share more with me saying, "I just found this scripture in my "Scripture song book" that says it all. "God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them" (1 John 4:16). She continued, "I know even more now why I heard "just love him." And she was still overlowing with perfect peace! Praise His Name! What an amazing testimony of the power of God to set us free! A woman who is suicidal goes from suicidal depression to peace within an hour by praying on her own! And when you have peace in your heart you also are able to have love and joy, because they go together. Without peace you cannot love or have joy, "but the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace..." God is so good! 

Eminent Psychiatrist Gives Anger to God    43

Two weeks ago attended a seminar in Florida and heard a Harvard-trained psychiatrist speak by the name of Peter Breggin, MD. Dr. Breggin is an eminent expert on psychotropic medications and he has been writing books and speaking out for 40 years about the dangers of using psychiatric medications. He is one of the few psychiatrists who speaks out with clarity about the unethical practices of psychiatrists and who is knowledgeable about the dangerous, adverse side effects of psychiatric medications. He is the author of many authoritative books on the subject, but my favorite is "Medication Madness" in which he documents about 50 cases of individuals who were normal prior to their taking psychiatric medication and then commited acts of violence or became suicidal or psychotic as a result of the medications they took. I highly recommend this book to anyone interested in the topic. Every pastor and serious Christian should have a copy of this book and read it because the propaganda of the pharmaceutical companies has thoroughly infiltrated our churches and is a major stronghold of the devil. Dr. Breggin stated that the struggle over truth about the dangers of psychiatric drugs is a "war." 

One man in attendance asked him how he is able to continue to fight the pharmaceutical industry and the psychiatric community over 40 years without feeling overwhelmed and giving up. Dr. Breggin stated that he made a conscious, deliberate choice to give his anger to God! He told how one man in particular tried to strip him of his medical license and he fought an ugly legal battle to avoid losing his license and Dr. Breggin's attorney sent that man a letter on Christmas day to inform him that all of his financial assets were frozen so he could not spend any money. When Dr. Breggin heard this he was upset because he said he had no ill-will toward the man and he didn't hate him or want to hurt him; he simply wanted the man to drop his legal attempt to take his license from him. At that time he said that he asked God to please take his anger from him, and his anger suddenly left him! Dr. Breggin is not a Christian but he is an ethical, Jew who believes in God, and he also understands that God is able to take our anger from us and give us peace. 

Anger management does not work, medications cannot take away anger, and mental health people don't know how to help you with anger, but the Lord is able to take away your anger and give you peace when you do two simple things: First, be completely honest about your anger toward a person by making a thorough list of your resentments towards them, and Second, tell the Lord in a simple prayer the reasons for your anger and ask Him to take your anger from you and replace it with His peace. When you do this the "peace of God which passes comprehension shall guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:7). 

Desperate to Release Anger     44

A woman contacted me and asked for help with her anger. She had gone through a series of medical problems caused by her dentist, chiropractor, and several other health providers who actually harmed her rather than helped her, and she suffered physical pain and discomfort as a result. She told me that she was angry at each of them but admitted that she was taking her anger out on her husband and daughter and she didn’t want to keep doing that. She said that her mother was emotionally abusive to her and her daughter when they stayed with them recently, and she admitted that she had a history of emotional abuse before she was married. This woman said that she wanted to see a Christian counselor because she prayed and read the Word and wanted someone to help her in a biblical way.

I shared with this woman how I had tried for twenty-five years to help people using standard psychological techniques that did not help with anger, grief, or feelings of shame and then I learned a simple way to help people with anger or grief. As I gave her an example of someone who was able to release their anger through prayer, her eyes reddened as she began to feel some hope of relief. She told me that she wanted help with her anger and she would love to get rid of it. She was desperate to release her anger. Since she was so angry at her doctors and family members and was overreacting to them, I suggested that it would be best to start with her anger toward her mother who was an early source of anger for her. She said that she would like to get rid of her anger toward her mother, if possible. I asked her what she resented about her mother and she told me that her mother lied to her about her biological father, said that he didn’t like her, and said that he got very angry but she later met him and learned that he was very laid-back and calm. She told me that her mother was very negative and critical of her, she never taught her anything, she was always working and never home so this woman had to take care of her siblings and raise them. When she was sexually abused by a relative her mother minimized it and did nothing, she said cruel things to her like telling her that she had “big, ugly ears,” and she cussed at her, raged, and threw objects frequently. In addition, her mother was hypocritical and forced her to go to church. We made a list of twenty-three resentments she had toward her mother, then I led her in a prayer and she gave those resentments to the Lord and asked Him to take them and carry them for her. After giving her anger to the Lord I asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted her to know. She said, “He has loved me from the beginning of time; He’s gonna carry it for me; He gives me peace.” I asked her how she felt, and she smiled and said, “I just feel peace. I don’t feel angry anymore.” 

She was very excited about seeing how simple it was and eager to pray some more on her own about other sources of her anger. This woman typifies many Christians who want to experience freedom and peace but they don’t know what to do. They need to be taught how to release their anger by being honest about the reasons for their anger, and then asking the Lord to take their anger from them. May God help each of us to do our part in spreading the word about how to find freedom from our anger and how to experience God’s perfect peace so that others will be attracted to our God! 

Surprised by Peace after Releasing Anger     45

A woman came to me for help with her anger. She had a history of traumas and mistreatment but was most angry at her ex-husband because he was unfaithful to her and refused to pay any child support to help her raise their son. She was also angry at him for not spending time with their son, for not working, for lying to her about his affairs, for wasting money on drugs, and for blaming her for her son not being able to see his father. This woman appeared to be a little skeptical about this prayer process but she was desperate to get help for her anger because she was afraid that she would lose her job if she didn't get help. I explained how she needed to be completely honest about her anger and then give it to God in prayer, so we made a list of ten things she resented about her Ex. I then led her in a prayer and she told the Lord why she was so angry at her Ex, and she asked Him to take her anger from her and carry it for her. I prayed and asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted her to know, and told her to be quiet and let me know if she had any thoughts come to her mind. She looked very surprised and then smiled slightly and said, "Everything will be okay." Those words reminded her of her grandfather who used to tell her that and they brought a tearful smile to her face. I prayed again and asked if there was anything else that He wanted her to know. She smiled again and said, "I can do it by myself [raise her son]," and she said that that made her feel good. I prayed again, "Lord, is there anything else?" and she said, "My son is a good son and he'll turn out okay." She appeared a little tearful but said that she felt relieved. Once more I asked, "Lord, is there anything else?" She said, "Everything is going to be okay." 

This woman was very surprised how these thoughts came to her mind and the peace that they brought to her heart. She told me that she felt no more anger toward her Ex and she laughed and said she felt blessed. I asked her if she felt any negative feelings toward her Ex and she said, "No. I actually feel sad for him that he is missing out on our son. He's really a great kid; he's smart and hilarious." She told me how her son had recently seen a full rainbow and exclaimed to his mother, "Look mom! God is going to bless us!" She was so surprised to hear words of comfort from the Lord and to be relieved of her anger. She went from being very angry at her Ex to feeling pity for him because he was missing out on raising their son, and she felt deeply grateful to the Lord for her son. 

The Lord set her from from her anger and gave her great peace and joy for being blessed with such a good son. Anger is a major contributing factor to mental health problems and it prevents us from hearing from the Lord. If you are angry at anyone from your past who has wronged you, do like this woman and give it all to the Lord then ask Him what He wants you to know and listen quietly to His still, small voice as He brings you comfort and replaces your anger with His peace. "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, and peace" (Gal. 5:26) and He wants you to experience His peace every day. Jesus is the "Lord of Peace."

 "It's Easier to Forget than to Forgive"    46

A man told me that he had become "locked up inside" and felt like doing nothing and did not know what was wrong. We talked about his feelings and his past in an effort to understand his struggle, and although he had had some traumatic things happen to him he denied that he had any feelings of grief or anger that were affecting him. However, he admitted that when he divorced his former wife it was very difficult for him because she was so spiteful toward him and made his life very miserable. He insisted that he had no anger toward her since she was no longer in his life and his children were adults now and he never even thought about her. I suggested that he probably had suppressed his feelings and that as they built up from time to time he became immobilized and overwhelmed. He hesitantly agreed to talk about his ex-wife and as he did, he suddenly broke into tears as he recalled how she refused to let him see their children, how he had to go without basic needs at times due to the large amount of child support he had to pay her, how she spent all the child support money on herself buying expensive cars and clothing while neglecting their children and making them wear old hand-me-down clothing. He became very emotional as he recalled one time when she had him arrested when he went to pick up the children for his visitation time and she refused to let him see the children. When the police confronted him he involuntarily flinched and was beaten by the police and taken to jail and was humiliated. He wept bitterly as he recalled many other things about his former wife that he had forgotten but that he deeply resented. After making a long list of resentments that he held, he prayed and told the Lord why he was so angry at his ex-wife and asked Him to take his anger from him. After he prayed I asked him how he felt and he said that he felt a lot better and felt no more anger but he admitted that there might be more. I suggested that he think some more about his ex-wife and talk to the Lord about her on his way home and give all his resentments to Him. 

The next time I saw him he told me that he spent four more hours praying that afternoon and released more anger and some feelings of guilt he had been carrying for a long time. He said that he felt much better than he had when I last saw him and he even told me that he and his wife returned to church after having been away from it for over a year. He admitted that he had been suppressing his feelings for a long time because "It is easier to forget than to forgive." We discussed that interesting statement and how many Christians suppress their feelings and try to just forget painful memories rather than talking about them honestly and releasing them. This man felt so much better after honestly admitting his anger and giving it to the Lord and he looked a lot better, too. He had been carrying a lot of intense anger for over fifteen years and had suppressed it to the point that he periodically became overwhelmed and quit functioning altogether. But when he admitted his anger and gave it to the Lord he was set free and began to experience peace and joy again and returned to church with his wife. No reason Paul tells us, "Be angry, and yet do not sin; Do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity" (Ephesians 4:26-27). 

Stolen Bike Turns Boy from God    47

When I first saw this man he was very distraught and tearful because his wife forced him to leave his home. He was not a religious person but said that he was so desperate for help that he was willing to try to pray to release his anger and grief, and he was surprised at how he felt immediate relief and peace after praying. He returned for several more sessions and each time he experienced more peace after praying about more grief, sadness, or anger. We talked about how nice it is to feel peaceful and calm and how he could use this to help his wife and children. He told me, "It works; I know it works. It's changing my whole way of looking at things." He went on to explain, "As a kid I began going to church and I wanted to get baptized and get saved, but one day after church someone had stolen my bike while I was in church. They left the front wheel of my biked chained to the bike rack and I couldn't understand how God would let that happen at His house. That changed my thinking about God." 

We discussed some other disappointments he had experienced including the recent loss of some friends who were killed in a car wreck. He said that they were good, religious people and it seems clear to him that "God is not in control; nobody is in control." I asked him if he would like to give his disappointment and anger to God and he said he would, so I led him in a prayer and he told the Lord why he was so disappointed in Him. After we prayed he said that he felt no anger or disappointment in God. He asked for copies of my booklets on anger and grief to give to his wife and to some elderly people he visits. 

As the result of seeing God answer prayers his heart has softened to the Lord and he has begun praying, and now he wants to teach his wife and children how to give their grief, anger and sadness to the Lord. Satan took advantage of him as a child by influencing someone to steal his bicycle at church, but now God is working in his heart as a result of answered prayers and drawing him back to Him! Emotional Healing Prayer gives us the opportunity to demonstrate the power and goodness of God to those who are struggling and needing peace in their lives. Be ready to share this today with someone you know who is struggling emotionally and watch the Lord work in their life! 

Anger toward Stepfather Surprisingly Disappears    48

A man admitted to me that he had an anger problem that was creating problems in his marriage. He said that he had a lot of anger toward his father who divorced his mother and then began to neglect and ignore him. As a result of his anger he got into a lot of fights and he developed a drinking problem. He was not going to church but he said he was willing to try praying about his anger because he was desperate to get help to save his marriage. 

We made a list of the reasons for his anger toward his father and then I led him in a prayer and he asked the Lord to take his anger and carry it for him. After the prayer I asked him how he felt and he said, "I don't feel anything. I can't even think about him." He said that he felt no more anger toward his father and he was shocked that he couldn't even think about him anymore. The following week he told me that he was doing much better and was getting along better with his wife. He said that he was no longer angry at his father and he was surprised that his anger toward his stepfather was also gone, and he felt like he owed him an apology for the way he had treated him. We then prayed about some intense anger he had toward his Ex-wife after identifying 20 resentments he had toward her, and after the prayer he said he had no feelings and no anger toward her. I asked him what he thought about this prayer process. He said, "I like the way it works. Before I came here I wasn't open to God, but now I've begun to go to church." He also told me that he enjoyed going to church and that everything the pastor said seemed to be meant just for him, and he had begun praying on his own about his feelings and it was helping. 

It's wonderful to see how the Lord helps those who cry out to him, and when they see how He comforts them and gives them His peace they realize how much they need Him and they begin to seek Him. Afterall, Jesus did say,"Come unto Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28). 

Angry at God    49

Yesterday, I went to the local jail and spoke with some female inmates about how to get rid of anger. One of them came up afterwards and asked for prayer. She said that she was angry at two former husbands and at God. She was very tearful and said that it was hard to admit that she was angry at God but she wanted to be honest and wanted help in getting rid of it. I asked her why she was angry at God and she burst into tears and began sobbing so heavily that I could barely understand her. She said that her mother abandoned her, she was adopted by her grandmother who died when she was 12 years old, her first husband physically abused her, her second husband died from cancer, and her third husband emotionally abused her and took her children from her. She was angry at her former husbands but also was angry at God for allowing these tragic things to happen to her. I asked this woman if she would like to get rid of her anger and she said that she did, so I led her in a prayer and she told the Lord why she was angry at Him. Even as she prayed she sobbed so heavily that I could barely understand her, but then she told the Lord that she was tired of caring these feelings and she asked the Lord to carry them for her. She suddenly quit crying and wiped away the tears. She became calm and said that she was no longer angry at God. 

We then prayed about her anger toward her two former husbands and when we were finished she just smiled and said that she felt lighter. Her burden of anger was lifted from her and she was set free. It's amazing how many people, including Christians, have anger that they carry and they don't know how to release it. I have prayed with several pastors who were angry at God and didn't know how to release it but once they did, they were set free. I am convinced that anger is one of the primary, underlying causes of mental health problems and yet the Lord has given us a simple, effective way to remove our anger. First, be completely honest with the Lord about your anger by making a thorough list of the reasons for your anger toward Him or someone else. Second, say a simple prayer in which you tell the Lord why you are angry at Him or an individual, then ask Him to take your anger and carry it for you. It's also amazing that the world has no way to eliminate anger. 

Anger management is ineffective and mental health professionals do not know how to help you with your anger, but the Lord is able to set you free when you take these two simple steps. Yesterday, I saw a woman in a restaurant that I had seen about six months ago when I gave her a copy of the booklet, "How to Overcome Anger," and she told me that she used the booklet and that it worked! Please help me pass along this message of God's goodness and power and how He is able to set us free from our anger and please share these little booklets with friends and acquaintances everywhere! God is good! 

Destitute Woman Finds Peace    50

Most of us become distraught over little things such as car problems, financial burdens and friends being hateful to us but one woman I saw was destitute and found God's peace. She had a horrendously abusive background and had gone to prison several times but had been drug-free and out of prison for over ten years and she was trying her hardest to get on her feet. Each week she came faithfully for counseling sessions and I wanted to pray with her about some of her emotions, but each week I put it off because she had such pressing practical concerns like finding a place to sleep and finding food to eat. I was encouraged that she told me each week that she was praying regularly and reading her Bible and trusting God to take care of her, and she was trying to find any job for herself and her mother. I knew that she had a lot of anger that needed to be released so one week I encouraged her to make it a priority to give all her anger to the Lord because anger hinders her relationship with the Lord and robs her of peace that she needs to be able to make good decisions. I also told her a story about how a child could not hear from the Lord because of her anger, but when she released her anger the Lord spoke to her heart. 

This woman took this advice to heart and she said she went outside and prayed and asked the Lord to show her the way and take all her anger and hatred from her that she had carried for years and years. She said to the Lord, "I want you to talk to me, Lord." She told me that she had been calm ever since she prayed that prayer. She also said that she knows she needs to be specific with the Lord about her anger but she wanted to just give it all to Him first because she was tired of carrying it and wanted to hear from Him. The next time I saw this woman she was still destitute, sleeping in an apartment with nothing in it but a mattress and the apartment manager wanting to evict her. That morning she saw the manager who yelled at her hatefully and refused to return her monthly rent as she had promised and she threatened to have her evicted, and this woman said, "I didn't even feel angry about it. She yelled at me and all I could do was smile." I prayed and asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted her to know, then I told her to be quiet and let me know if any thoughts came to her mind. The following thoughts came to her mind: "Be patient; things will come in time. Have faith." She smiled and said she wasn't worried about her future; she was confident that the Lord would provide for her and take care of her and she felt peaceful and calm. The Lord did speak to her as she had prayed. 

That's what the Lord wants for all of us. He said, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything through prayers and supplications with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7). Whatever is happening in your life, may the Lord give you His perfect peace. 

Skeptic Becomes Giddy with Joy    51

A young lady was referred to me for help with her depression. She was reluctant to pray about her issues with me and admitted that she was very skeptical, even though she believed in prayer, because she considered herself a "scientific" person. As we talked about her anxiety she told me about how her father used to yell at her and abused her sister and this stirred up feelings of anger in her and she became very tearful. I asked her more about her father and she told me that he pushed her when she was pregnant, and how upsetting it was when he abused her sister. He quit a good-paying job and wouldn't work then spent all their money on himself so that she had poor clothes and the kids at school teased her about her clothes. When she began working to earn money he began stealing money from her. In addition, he screamed at her, cussed at her, and said hateful things to her every day and mistreated his mother, who was taking care of her. While talking about these things she was very tearful and upset and I listened calmly and encouraged her to keep talking. After identifying 22 resentments she had I asked her if she would like to get rid of her anger and she said that she would. So, I led her in a prayer and she tearfully told the Lord how angry she was at her father, then she asked Him to take her anger from her and carry it for her. I prayed and asked the Lord what He wanted her to know. She sat quietly for awhile and wiped away her tears and I asked her if any thoughts came into her mind. She said, "I'm loved by my teachers, my grandparents, my sisters, and by the church members." I asked her how she felt and she said, "A sense of peace; I can talk now; I'm not choked up." I asked her to think about her father and tell me how she feels toward him and she said that she had no more anger toward her father. She said, "I feel bad for him now. He probably went through the same things I did; it doesn't excuse what he did, but I feel sorry for him." "What do you think about that?" I asked. "I was skeptical," she replied, "because I'm a scientific person, but I'm calm now and I have this giddiness inside me," she laughed. "I can breathe easily, now. I feel looser and happier." She talked for awhile and all her tears and sadness were gone and she was still beaming with joy when she left my office. The Lord took her justified anger toward her father and replaced it with peace! "Oh, what peace we often forfeit, Oh, what needless pain we bear; all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer." If you have any unresolved anger, please give it to the Lord and let Him carry it for you. 

Talking More Instead of Yelling at Teens    52

A Christian man told me that he needed help with his anger. He admitted that he had overreacted and been too harsh in his discipline with his teenage daughters and he knew that he had an anger problem. His pastor suggested to him that he get some medication for his anger because the pastor had done that himself. When I first met this man we discussed his history and he told me about his family upbringing and it was clear that he had anger toward his brother and his parents and his stepfather, and he had a lot of anger toward his ex-wife, also. I shared with him that such unresolved anger can lead him to overreact to his daughters and told him how the Lord could set him free from his anger through prayer and he was very receptive to this. We discussed his ex-wife and he identified 13 reasons for his anger toward her and then asked the Lord to take his anger from him. Afterwards, he said that he felt peaceful and was no longer angry at her. 

The next time I saw him I asked him how he was doing and he said, "Good. I'm talking more instead of yelling." Praying about his anger toward his ex-wife had reduced his anger significantly so that he was able to remain calm when disciplining his children. We talked about his anger toward his mother who was always gone and never around to mother him and care for him while he was growing up. She was always angry at him and took out her anger toward her husband on this man when he was a child and was not loving and affectionate with him like he desired. On several occasions she was abusive with him and she married a man who abused drugs and introduced this man to drugs at a young age. He made a list of 8 resentments he had toward his mother and then he prayed and asked the Lord to take his anger from him. After giving his anger to the Lord I asked him how he felt. He said, "I don't feel anything; I have no anger toward her now." He had a little bit of sadness but he gave that to the Lord and then he said he felt "peaceful." 

This man still needs to pray about some other sources of anger from his childhood but as he prays about each source and releases all his anger he will be able to respond calmly to his challenging teenage daughters and love them and discipline them without overreacting and wounding their spirits. Ephesians 5:7 says, "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger" and as this man releases all his anger he will be able to love them and discipline them in love, in contrast to his mother who disciplined him in anger and passed on her anger to him. The admonition of Paul in Ephesians 4:26-27 is desperately needed in this day: "Do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity." May all of us learn to identify the sources of our anger and give our anger to the Lord so the devil will not have any opportunity in our lives. 

I'll Never Let Go of That Hate!    53

I spoke with a young woman in jail who was standing off from the crowd as the other women were looking through the books on the book cart. When I spoke with her she was hesitant and looked like she was about to burst into tears, so I approached her and asked if she wanted some prayer. With much emotion she told me that she was upset at being sent to jail again and being taken away from her baby girl. She said that she was renting a room from a man and the police raided the apartment and found drug paraphernalia in the apartment so she was charged with possession of paraphernalia, handcuffed in front of her daughter, mother, brothers, and cousins and taken to jail but the man who owned the paraphernalia was gone so she was arrested because of him. 

I agreed that she had a right to be angry and asked her if she would like to get rid of her anger. After some initial hesitancy she agreed and allowed me to lead her in a prayer and she told the Lord four reasons for her anger toward the man who rented her the room. But she said she hated the police and would like to hurt them. I asked her why she was angry at the police and she told me they believe what they want to believe and don't care about people, she has been arrested every month for awhile, they charged her with possession of paraphernalia that did not belong to her and that she did not know about, they treated her unfairly, they took her child from her, and all her relatives saw her get handcuffed and arrested. She identified seven reasons for her anger and then I asked her if she would like to get rid of her anger and she said, "I hate the police. I'll never let go of that anger!" After some discussion of the impact that her anger could have on her and her child she hesitantly agreed to pray about her anger, and I led her in a prayer in which she told the Lord why she was so angry at the police. Then I prayed and asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted her to know. "I'm completely open minded," she said. I asked her what she meant and she said, "My heads cleared up." I asked her how she felt now and she said, "Less stressed. I'm not really angry now." "So what happened to that anger you told me would never go away?" I asked. "It disappeared" she replied. 

This woman was so angry at the police a few minutes earlier and she swore that she would never let it go, but a few minutes later it was completely gone. When I saw her a week later she was smiling and told me that she was feeling much better and was no longer angry. How exciting it is to see the Lord set people free who feel so hopeless and trapped in their emotions. "With man it is impossible, but with God all things are possible!" 

Didn't Know I had so Much Anger   54

A woman came to me for help with her anger after she was reprimanded for an incident at work in which she became overly confrontive with a co-worker, and she was afraid that she might lose her job if she didn't get help. We had several sessions and I prayed with her about her anger toward a former boyfriend, her anger toward her mother, and some grief over the loss of a grandparent. She told me that she was doing well and had no more angry outbursts. Her spiritual life had improved as well as her general mood and she shared with me how she was cheered up one day when she saw a car with a license tag that said, "You've got a friend in Jesus." This reminded her of her deceased grandfather who had this tag on his truck, and she said it made her laugh and she had a good day. 

I went down the prayer list on which I had recorded all of the anger sources identified on her prayer plan and asked about a former boyfriend she had for several years. She told me that she was "not really angry" at him but I probed a little and she told me that he cheated on her and abused her during their relationship. I kept probing and she thought of several more resentments, including the fact that he struck her in front of her friends, treated her like she was stupid, and led her to distrust men and be fearful of them. Soon I had a list of 17 resentments she had toward this former boyfriend. I asked her if she would like to get rid of this anger and she said that she would, so I led her in a prayer and she told the Lord these resentments she held and she asked Him to take them from her and replace them with peace. After this prayer I asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted this woman to know. She had no thoughts from the Lord but said, "I hope he's ok; I'm glad it's over." She said that she felt calm and had no more anger toward this former boyfriend, then she said, "I didn't know I held so much anger toward him!" 

Many people are like this woman and deny that they are angry toward someone who has wronged them in the past, but as they begin thinking about or talking about the person their anger begins to surface. The test of healing is when you can think about and talk about the person and it does not upset you, and you can even visualize meeting them and having a normal conversation with them without any negative feelings. The Bible says, "Be angry, and yet do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity" (Eph. 4:26-27). It's ok to be angry but we cannot afford to hold onto it overnight; it will give the devil a foothold in our life. If you know someone who has wronged you and cannot stand to think about them then talk with the Lord about them, tell Him what you resent about them, and ask Him to take your anger from you. When you do this the peace of God will fill your heart and prevent the devil from getting a foothold in your life. 

Woman Releases Anger about Abandonment    55

A woman told me she wanted help with her anger and depression. She had been taking psychiatric medications for 15 years but it did not help her with her anger and depression. She told me that she had yelled and screamed at her children and now her daughter was angry and yelling at her children, but this woman loves her grandchildren and prays with them at night. I asked her when her depression began and she admitted being sexually abused as a child, but her depression began after her first husband left her for another woman. 

She worked to put her husband through school then she took their two children to visit relatives in another state. When she called him to tell him when she was returning he told her that he was leaving her for another woman. Her husband never allowed her to return to get any personal items that belonged to the children. He changed his name, ran off, took his retirement, and emptied his bank account and never paid her any child support. She struggled financially for five years and raised the children alone until she met her second husband and married him, and her children were devastated by their father's abandonment of them. He even wrote a letter to them to tell them that he had no other children than the ones he had with his second wife. It angered this woman that he went on with his life as if they never existed and she learned that he had taken a well-paying position in a hospital. Her children were very angry at their father and developed emotional problems due to their anger. I told this woman that her anger was justified but then I asked her if she would like to get rid of it if possible. She said that she would so I shared with her how she could be set free by being completely honest about her anger and giving it to God. We made a list of 14 resentments she had toward her ex-husband, then she prayed and asked the Lord to take them from her and carry them for her. I asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted her to know, then told her to be quiet and let me know if any thoughts came into her mind. She said, "We made it without him; we don't need him. I was lucky and real fortunate because I didn't have to fight with him about the kids." I asked her how she felt when she thought about her ex- and she said, "I feel nothing; no anger, love, or loss. Just calm." 

Three weeks later she told me that she had not even thought about her ex-husband since we prayed about him. This woman had carried these feelings of hurt, anger, and depression for 20 years and had taken medications for 15 years that did not help her, but after 40 minutes she was free of this anger and felt peace. The Lord wants us all to have peace. Regardless of what has happened to you or how grievously you have been wronged He wants to take your anger and replace it with His peace. Just be honest with Him about your anger, tell Him why you are angry at someone, then give it to Him and let Him carry it for you. "His load is easy and His burden is light." Matthew 11:28

Woman Experiences "Weird" Feelings of Peace    56

A woman asked for prayer regarding her anger. She stated that she had been angry since childhood when her mother left her with her father when she was four years old, and then her father physically and sexually abused her. She said she was angry that her mother abandoned her, failed to protect her from her father, and was never very nurturing to her and acted like she and her brother were an inconvenience to her when they visited her. She still cannot talk with her mother about her feelings and her mother still criticizes her and compares her to her brother unfavorably. We made a list of 22 resentments toward her mother and then prayed and asked the Lord to take her anger from her. I asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted her to know and she said, "She wanted to raise me but couldn't" and "You're not a waste of time." When I asked her how she felt now about her mother she said she felt no more anger, but just felt neutral.

I asked her how she felt now and she said she felt guilty because she should have tried harder to be with her, she never asked to go see her mother, she got so angry and irritable with her, and she was mean and critical towards her. I asked her if she had ever confessed these things to the Lord and she had not so she prayed and asked Him to forgive her. I then prayed and asked the Lord what He wanted her to know. The thought that immediately came to her mind was, "I forgive you and understand." She said that her feelings of guilt and shame were gone and she smiled. I asked her what she thought about this sudden loss of her anger and guilt and she said, "It's king of weird" and she kept saying, "it's weird." 

Once again I asked her how she felt and she said she just felt some sadness. She felt sad for her mother because she missed out on raising her and her brother, she missed out on their birthdays, holidays, and special events in their lives. She also felt sad because her mother had a rough life, was never happy, and has a lot of regrets. We prayed about this sadness and she told the Lord why she was sad, then she asked Him to take her sadness and carry it for her. Afterwards she said that she felt guilty for releasing her sadness and she felt she should hold onto her sadness so her mother would not be alone. I prayed and asked the Lord what He wanted her to know about that and the thoughts that came to her mind were, "That's a lie; I'm not a traitor to let go of my sadness." When I asked her how she felt she said she had no more anger, guilt, or sadness about her mother. She said she had that "weird, calm feeling" again. 

When we were finished praying this woman was smiling and feeling God's peace in her heart. I encouraged her to continue praying about her anger toward others in her life who had hurt her in order to be set free from all her anger. She felt so peaceful and relieved afterwards that she asked if she could give me a hug. It's wonderful to see people being released from anger that they have had since childhood! 

Woman Releases Anger toward Gambling Husband   57

A woman came to me who was upset at her husband for stealing her credit card and her ID number and spending an exhorbitant amount of money at a casino. She knew he had a gambling problem so she kept her money and credit cards where he could not find them. However, he found them and went gambling with her credit card and lost a lot of money. Her strongest feeling, she said, was the feeling of aloneness and she recalled an early time in her life when she felt this way. I prayed for her and asked the Lord what He wanted her to know about her belief that she was all alone as a child. No thoughts came to her mind; she still felt alone and felt that no one understood her. 

She said that she also felt guilt and shame because she was so upset about her husband's gambling that she confronted him loudly and her daughter witnessed their fight, so she felt guilty and alone. We focused on her feelings of guilt and I encouraged her to confess her failures to the Lord and ask for forgiveness. She asked the Lord to forgive her for her sins and then I prayed and asked the Lord what He wanted her to know. She said, "We all make mistakes; I will never allow my anger to get to that point again that my daughter sees me act like that." Her feelings of guilt and shame were gone, and I realized that she had received no truth from the Lord when we prayed about her feelings of aloneness because she was so angry that she could not hear from the Lord. 

I asked her for the reasons for her anger and she said she couldn't trust her husband with money, he stole her credit card and ID number, he refused to sign papers to be banned from the casinos, and he was putting their marriage on the line by his gambling. I asked her if she would like to get rid of her anger but she said she felt she needed to stay angry at him to keep the pressure on him to sign those papers. I explained to her that if she got rid of her anger she could still stay strong and take some action but she would be able to do it with peace in her heart and not allow the devil an opportunity to take advantage of her anger and harm her daughter again. She agreed to pray and give her anger to the Lord. I led her in a prayer and she gave all her anger to the Lord and asked Him to take it from her and carry it for her. She immediately became visibly calm and said her anger was almost completely gone. We discussed Eph. 4:26-27 and I explained that her husband needs help but that she could not afford to stay angry at him. She came to understand that she needs to be calm so that she can talk to the Lord and hear His voice and so He can guide her and tell her what to do next to help her husband. I told her that she had a right to be angry and she needed to do something, but she cannot afford to stay angry overnight, and she agreed. She smiled and left with peace and joy in her heart. 

People often mistakenly believe that they need to hold onto their anger because their anger will motivate other people to change, but that is not true. The apostle Paul was clean in Eph. 4:26-27 that we should not hold onto our anger overnight and that when we do it gives the devil an opportunity in our lives. This woman's anger led her to act out in anger and it was harmful to her child and led her to engage in several sinful behaviors. Now that she has released her anger the Lord can help her calmly deal with her husband. Those with gambling addictions have deep, underlying feelings of grief, anger, and shame and they need help to be set free from those emotions in order to be free from their addiction. Being angry at an addict will not change them or motivate them to change; it may actually fuel their addiction but those around the addict need to learn to rest in God's peace and look to Him for wisdom to know how to deal with their addicted loved one. 

Wife Begins Singing Again After Releasing Anger!    58

I had a phone meeting with a woman from another state, and a Christian friend of hers, who was referred to me by her pastor, due to some serious marital problems she was having. She and her husband had been married for about twenty years and they had three children. Both the husband and wife were professing Christians who attended church together, but the husband admitted to his wife in December that he was having an affair. He blamed his wife for the affair because she was not sufficiently attentive to his emotional and physical needs, however, he had a long history of pornography addiction, he had a violent temper, and he had often been destructive to property during fits of rage, which frightened his wife and children. When I spoke with this wife over the phone she was unsure about the future of the marriage or of her husband’s desire to save their marriage, but she admitted that she had strong feelings of hurt and anger. She said that she felt like she lost her husband when he informed her about his affair in December so she was feeling a strong sense of grief, also. I explained to her and to her friend over the phone that her anger was justified but it would keep her unhappy and make it difficult for her to be a good mother to her children. She stated that she would like to get rid of her anger so I explained that she needed, first, to be completely honest about her anger and write out a list of all her resentments towards her husband then, secondly, she needed to say a short prayer telling the Lord everything she resented about her husband and ask the Lord to carry her anger for her. Her friend agreed to help her do this and I hung up my phone. 

Later that evening the friend called me and told me that they made out a list of 41 resentments she had and they prayed and gave those resentments to the Lord. The wife immediately experienced relief from her anger and then she excitedly called her pastor and told him about it and wrote the following comments in several emails. "Thank you, Pastor, for arranging the phone call with Dr. Gardner. I didn't think I had the strength to do it but my friend nudged me and pulled me along and I am so much at peace now. I thought of a few more things to pray about during the drive home so I prayed the whole way home. I told the children what God has done with my anger and held one of them for an hour. She needs it just as much and doesn't think she can do it either. Perhaps after youth group she will. I am able to breathe deeply and my heart palpitations have stopped (first time since Christmas). I can truly pray again after not being able to for years. I need to sleep now but wanted to let you know and thank you. My friend and I will meet tomorrow to go over my grief list and pray over that. I know my husband has a lot of anger and grief from childhood and later. 

I hope Dr. Gardner can help him open up. Now I see him as a lost soul, not an evil offender. I think a period of separation will still do us good so we can have time to think, not just react. I just wanted to let you know I found myself singing and laughing again. I played "Blessed Assurance" on the piano and am going to learn the words so I can sing while doing dishes. The kids and I took a walk at the Mall and now are tackling homework and taxes. Please let Dr. Gardner know what God's done for me through his counsel. Thank you! What an amazing example of the power of God to set this woman free, without me having to pray for her. Her friend prayed with her and the Lord heard her cries and set her free from her anger! What a miraculous change and what a God we serve! 

Angry Mom Gets Peace    59

A woman came to me so angry that she had not spoken to her daughter for several days. She gave her daughter permission to go swimming with four boys whom she knew well and trusted and she told her to be home by 7:00 pm. When she did not make it home by 8:00 she began to worry and called her daughter's cell phone but got no answer, so she tried to call the boys' phones and got no answer. Her daughter never called her or answered her calls until the next morning and this mother was beside herself with worry and anger. Her daughter told her that she was okay and that they had helped a friend move, then she slept in the home of two of the boys. This mother was relieved to know her daughter was safe but furious with her daughter for not calling and for sleeping overnight in the same home with these boys. She was so angry at her daughter that she could not talk with her for fear that she would hit her, so she just stayed quiet. The mother grounded her and refused to speak with her daughter out of anger and fear that she may have slept with one of the boys. 

I told her that her anger was justified and that her grounding was appropriate but reminded her of the scripture, "Be angry and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger." After ventilating she agreed to release her anger so we made a list of six reasons for her anger at her daughter, then she prayed and asked the Lord to take her anger from her and replace it with peace. I asked her how she felt and she was still angry for several reasons. We made a second list and then she prayed again and gave her anger to the Lord and asked him to take it from her. After praying the second time I asked her how she felt and she said she felt "relieved" and "less angry." I encouraged her to think about her daughter and tell me how she felt. She visibly relaxed and looked very calm and said she felt no more anger toward her daughter. She said she was ready to go home and have a talk with her and listen to her but she planned to keep her grounded and to begin to rebuild her trust in her daughter. 

This woman was righteously angry at her daughter but she was at risk of hitting her until she released her anger. I encouraged her to continue to give her anger to the Lord as new events occur day by day and "do not give the devil an opportunity" (Ephesians 4:27). It is okay and normal to be angry at times but none of us can afford to stay angry overnight because "the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God" (James 1:20). 

Only Way to Remove Anger is Death or Divorce?    60

A woman came to me who struggled with depression, guilt and anger. She felt a lot of guilt about giving up some children whom she had raised for nine years when their mother took them back and this woman never saw them again. We prayed about her feelings of shame and sadness and this lifted her spirits a lot so that she no longer felt shameful or sad about the loss of these children; she just had good memories of them. She also talked about her husband and how badly he had treated her and tore her down emotionally throughout their marriage. When they were first married he asked if she had any previous boyfriends and when she told him about one prior relationship he became insanely jealous and obsessed about this former boyfriend. She said that he picked fights with her all the time, he put her down and called her names, he claimed that she never backed him up on anything, he wouldn't forgive her and let go of the past, and he yelled at her all the time. She said she could never express herself for fear that he would get upset and begin yelling at her and intimidating her. We made a list of eleven resentments she had toward her husband. I asked this woman if she would like to get rid of her anger and she laughed and said, "There are just two ways for me to get rid of this anger: divorce or death." I explained that there was a third alternative; to give it to the Lord and let Him carry it for her. She agreed that she would like to do this so I led her in a prayer and she told the Lord everything she resented about her husband and asked him to carry it for her. When she finished praying I asked her how she felt; she said, "I don't feel much; I feel okay." She told me that she no longer felt any anger; she just felt neutral toward him. 

She didn't believe it was possible to release her anger but in just a few minutes she was able to release it completely and she left smiling and feeling lighter. The guilt, sadness, and anger she carried into the room were gone and she left feeling much lighter because the Lord took all her guilt, sadness, and anger from her and replaced it with His peace. That's why He is called the "Prince of Peace." The Lord wants you to give Him your anger, sadness, and shame also so that He can give you His perfect peace. 

Anger at Gambling Husband Released    61

Gambling is a very destructive addiction and it can destroy marriages and families. I saw a woman whose husband has had a gambling addiction for a long time but it was aggravated by the death of her husband’s brother. Since that death this man’s compulsive gambling has increased because gambling is driven by a desire to keep your mind off of troubling matters and to make you feel better. This woman has been hiding her money and credit cards for a long time, but recently she discovered that her guns were missing. When she asked her husband about them he sheepishly admitted he had pawned them for gambling money. She was infuriated that he would do this and he also pawned off an item that she had bought him for his birthday. Now she is going to have to lock up all her valuables to prevent him from pawning off anything else of value. 

She was so angry that she wanted to hit him and told him to leave the room. Her anger was justified but she did not want to stay angry. She was angry because she can no longer trust him to buy anything for her, she has to watch him all the time, he is destroying their family, and he is choosing gambling over his marriage and family. She made up a list of six reasons for her anger and I led her in a prayer to give it all to the Lord. After asking the Lord to take her anger from her and carry it for her I prayed and asked the Lord what He wanted her to know. She reported the following thoughts: You know what has to be done; you’re not alone; you have to think about your daughter.” I prayed again and asked the Lord if there was anything else that He wanted her to know and she remembered her deceased brother-in-law always used to tell her, “Always remember you never need a phone to talk to God” and she had the thought, “It’s ok to hurt.” After praying I asked her how she felt. She told me that her anger was gone and she no longer felt like hitting him. In fact, she said, “He can’t make me mad, now.” She was calm but resolute in taking measures to protect herself and her daughter from his destructive gambling addiction without any destructive anger to interfere. 

The Lord took all her anger and gave her His peace, and when we are calm and free from anger the Lord can guide us and tell us what we need to do in every situation. Many times people want to hold onto their anger so that they are not continually abused but the truth is we can release our anger and still take actions to protect ourselves from the destructive actions of others. This woman has a challenge ahead for her but without her anger and with God’s guidance she will handle it well. 

From Bursting Heart to Peace   63

A woman came for help with her feelings. She had been separated from her husband for a long time and they were on the verge of a divorce. She had a long history of anger and I shared with her how to release her anger through prayer. She stated that she was going to church and believed in prayer and was wanted to get rid of her anger. I asked this woman what the source of her anger was and she identified seven individuals, but the one who angered her the most was her mother. This is not surprising because many people have anger toward their parents but what was surprising was that she could only think of four reasons for her anger. 

First, she was angry that her mother cheated on her father which led to their divorce. Second, after the divorce her mother had many boyfriends who abused her in front of this woman. Third, her mother repeatedly talked about a time when this woman's husband tried to seduce her, and finally, she accused this woman of treating her husband badly. She said that she would like to get rid of her anger so I led her in a prayer and she told the Lord these four reasons for her anger. As she prayed she became extremely emotional and tearful until she gave her anger to the Lord. I asked the Lord to take her anger from her and to replace it with truth then I asked Him if there was anything that He wanted her to know. "My heart beat is slowing down," she said. I asked if she had any thoughts come to her mind and she said, "It's going to be okay." She went on to say, "I want her to get help, also." She said, "It literally felt like my heart was going to explode, but then I felt lighter." 

When she left she was smiling and feeling peaceful and calm! In just a few minutes the Lord took her intense anger toward her mother and replaced it with His peace and she went from feeling like her heart was going to explode to feeling completely calm. Its no wonder that she was struggling with her emotions since she had such intense feelings but it was wonderful how it instantly disappeared when she prayed and gave it to the Lord. The Lord wants to carry our burdens for us, too, and will do so when we are honest with Him and give them all to Him. 

Man Releases Anger toward Ex-wife    64

A man came for help with his drinking. He stated that he had begun drinking at about age 13 and he left home at age 15. I shared with him that people who become addicted do so because of underlying emotional issues like anger and grief which make them feel badly, and they look for something to make them feel good then they become addicted. He told me that he had gone to AA meetings and had completed two inpatient treatment programs but he was a "chronic relapser." I explained that treatment programs are ineffective because they do not know how to help people get rid of their anger, grief, or feelings of shame and I shared with him how he could get rid of these feelings through simple prayer. 

After I shared with him how to overcome feelings of anger or grief he said he believed in Jesus Christ and prayer and he was willing to try it. He told me about his background and he admitted he had feelings of anger toward his abusive father and mother and his ex-wife, and he had eight significant losses that also troubled him. I asked him which of these troubled him the most and he said it was his divorce that bothered him the most. He had been married for 26 years and one year ago his wife had an affair and left him and she had refused to let him see his daughter in the last year. He said that his wife had four affairs, took everything he had, began living with another man, and blamed him for the divorce. She also got a restraining order against him, filed false criminal charges against him that led to the revocation of his professional licensure, and destroyed his credit. He identified 17 reasons for his anger toward her then I led him in a prayer and he told the Lord the reasons for his anger and asked the Lord to take his anger and carry it for him. When we finished praying he prayed, "I give myself to you, Lord." I asked him how he felt and he said he felt better and felt no more anger toward his wife. 

The next time I saw him he told me that he wrote down some more resentments and regrets and gave them to the Lord and he felt no anger toward his ex-wife. He said, "It's working; my wife and I are talking civilly now. I go out every morning and sit and pray. I'm quite amazed at the situation with my ex-wife... all of a sudden she has completely changed!" The Lord took away his anger and this led to a dramatic change in his attitude and heart which changed the way his wife responded to him. He also told me that his urges to drink had decreased and he was feeling good. He turned his anger over to God and doors began opening for him to God and to his wife! 

Faith Renewed by Prayer in Atheist Wife    65

I met a woman and her husband who came for help with their marriage and her depression. Her mother had been verbally and physically abusive with her and she had experienced some significant losses. She told me that she used to believe in God but was pretty much an atheist now. I cautiously shared with her that I had found a way to help people get rid of anger, grief, and shame and gave her an example of how a young man was set free from his grief through prayer. I told her that I did not want to offend her or make her uncomfortable since she did not believe in God but she assured me that she was willing to try prayer if it would help her. 

For several session we met and prayed about her feelings of anger, grief, and shame and each time she felt her negative emotions lift from her and she smiled with surprise. Her husband was amazed as he observed this process work for her week after week. When I prayed with her about her anger toward her mother, her husband was even more angry at his mother-in-law than she was, and he got rid of his anger at the same time by praying along with his wife. After several sessions she told me that she was doing really well and her husband agreed that she was doing well. But she was worried about a trip she and her husband had planned because they were taking her brother-in-law whom she disliked and who was critical of her. She said she would like to get rid of her anger toward him so we made a list of what irritated her about him. She told me that he was jealous of their marriage, he provokes them to get into fights, he loves to argue, and he treats her like she is stupid. She also complained that her brother-in-law interferes with their personal business, tries to tell her what to do, disciplines her dog roughly, and gets “snippy” with her. After identifying eight resentments she had, this woman prayed and told the Lord these resentments and asked Him to take her anger and carry it for her. After her prayer, I asked her how she felt. She said, “A lot less annoyed with him; he thinks he’s helping people. He’s a good guy. He came to visit me in the hospital.” I asked her if she still felt some anger and she said she felt no more anger or irritation toward him, and she smiled a big smile.

I reminded her of how she told me initially that she was an atheist and asked her if this praying had changed her thinking. She told me, “I have completely renewed my faith! If I’m having a problem now, we pray together.” It’s wonderful to see how the Lord graciously answers prayers and carries the burdens of unbelievers and then they begin to believe in God and become strong prayer warriors. Jesus said, “He causes His sun to shine on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous” (Matt. 5:45). When people see the power of prayer and the goodness of God in setting them free, they begin to seek Him and love Him. May the Lord use you to pray with someone today and see them get set free from bondage and open their heart again to the Lord. 

Adopted Child Releases Anger after 40 Years    66

I had prayed previously with a woman about the suicide death of her father and she had received complete healing of this episode. She was raised by her maternal grandparents but she never felt that she was wanted or loved by her grandmother, and her biological mother was in the home but was not motherly with her and tried to give her up for adoption. This woman realized that she had a lot of resentment toward both of these women. 

She talked, first, about her mother and told me how her mother was an alcoholic and took her to bars and liquor stores with her then forgot her and left her in the stores. She was mean and verbally abusive and several times yanked her arm so hard it pulled it out of joint. This woman resented having to be the adult in this relationship, even as a child, and now her mother is still immature and resents her and feels she should be more loving and caring to her. We made a list of 18 resentments and then she prayed and asked the Lord to take all of them and carry them for her. I asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted her to know: “She is a child; He loves me; He put me in my family.” After having these thoughts I asked her how she felt and she laughed and said, “It’s just so weird. I just feel pity; no anger. All the inflammation is gone. I just feel sorry for her!” 

We then talked about her maternal grandmother who wasn’t warm or affectionate, either. This woman felt unwanted by her and felt like she was a nuisance and a chore. She resented that she could never please her grandmother and her grandmother criticized her weight and was never emotionally available to her. She identified eleven resentments she had toward her grandmother then we prayed and she gave her anger and resentment to the Lord. I asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted her to know. She said, “For what she went through she was loving; what she gave was miraculous considering how she grew up. She did love me.” She said that each of these thoughts felt true to her. When I asked her how she felt now she smiled and said, “A lot lighter; happiness; no anger. She was doing the very best she could.” She said she felt completely different and even the following day she was smiling and full of joy and peace. Adopted children carry many scars but the Lord can heal those scars and replace them with love, joy, and peace! 

From Hatred to Feeling Sorry for Ex-    67

A woman told me she had been married five times and felt a lot of hatred toward her last one. I asked her how she felt when she thought about her last husband and she said, with a calm look on her face, "I'd like to choke him until his very last breath and just before he went unconscious I'd let him go." She was a Christian woman and she said, "I know you're not supposed to hate but I do, because of all the things he did to me."

I asked her if she would like to get rid of those feelings of anger and hatred and she said she would, so I asked her why she resented him so much. She told me how he degraded her verbally by calling her names and insulting her, how he physically abused her and beat her, and how he treated her like a slave and made her wait on him. She said that he did these things in front of their children which scarred them, he lied to her all the time, was ungrateful for all that she did for him, and killed all her cats. He also complained about her cooking, treated her daughter badly, used racist words all the time, and made her pay their bills with her money so that he could buy whatever he wanted. This woman made a list of 20 things she deeply resented about her Ex-husband and then I led her in a prayer in which she told the Lord all these things she resented and she became tearful. Then she asked the Lord to take her anger and hatred from her and replace it with His peace. When we were finished praying I asked her how she felt. She said, "I feel sorry for him because of all the things he missed out on." I asked her if she felt any anger toward him and she said she did not. 

Most Christians are not as honest as this woman in admitting that she hated her Ex- and would like to choke him but she was honest with the Lord about it and then she gave her anger and hatred to Him and He took it and replaced it with His peace. If you have any anger toward anyone who has harmed you, you can do the same and replace your anger with peace. Just be completely honest with the Lord, tell Him exactly why you are angry, then give it to Him and let Him carry it for you. 

From Burning Anger to Laughter    68

A woman told me that she was tired of being angry at the world and wanted help in resolving her past so that she could feel better, lose weight, and quit smoking. She had suffered many traumas in her past from abusive parents, abusive husbands, and some significant losses and told me that through it all "God was there to save me." I shared with her how to be set free from grief and anger and she was receptive to the idea but seemed a little skeptical that it would work. 

I asked her which past experience was the most troubling to her and she said that it was her relationship with her mother. She said that she had not seen her mother for over six years and she would like to get over her anger toward her. I explained that the first step was to be completely honest about the reasons for her anger so she told me how her mother always dumped her off onto others, abandoned her, was never a good mother to her, didn't believe her when she told her that she had been molested, and made fun of her and called her insulting names. She also said that her mother never said she loved her or hugged her, and she grabbed her by the hair and beat her, she also beat her father, and then she spoiled her brother. As she spoke of these memories she became very angry and tearful. She identified 18 reasons for her anger then I told her the second step was to tell God the reasons for her anger and to ask Him to take her anger and carry it for her. She prayed and gave this anger to the Lord. After her prayer I asked her how she felt while thinking about her mother and she said, "I feel a lot better. There's no anger; it's like thinking about a stranger." She felt emotionally neutral and calm. Then she smiled and said, "I don't feel that burning sensation in my chest anymore! I'm kind of surprised at how I feel now." She began smiling and then started laughing. The more she thought about it the more she laughed and she was still laughing with joy at her new-found peace as she left my office. The Scriptures say, "They shall go out with joy and be led forth with peace" (Isaiah 55:12). 

Anger Connected to Sexual Abuse    69

A man came to a Set Free meeting and asked for prayer about his anger. I asked him when was the last time he had gotten real angry and he said it was yesterday when he was doing some work in a small, enclosed area when his wife asked him to do something else for her. He felt he was being treated unjustly and he exploded in anger toward her, but then he later felt badly and apologized. He said he had this explosive anger since childhood and he often apologized for his outbursts but they still left his wife feeling upset and intimidated and left him feeling shameful. 

I asked this gentleman when was the first time he could remember being treated unjustly and exploding. He said he got very upset in high school when his coach wanted him to play on the first string of the basketball team but the team captain overlooked him and selected his friends to play on the first string. I asked him if he could remember an earlier time when he was angry about being treated unjustly. He immediately said that he had never spoken about this to others but when he was five years old he was molested by the town barber and nothing ever happened to this man. This molestation scarred him deeply and profoundly damaged him throughout his life and had carried this anger for a long time. He made a list of the reasons for his anger toward this man then he prayed and gave all his anger and resentments to the Lord. After praying he said that he felt no more anger toward the man and he was able to think about it and talk about it without any embarassment or anger. 

Two days later his wife said that he was like a new man; his anger was gone and he was so much easier to live with. There may be other sources of his lifelong anger but resolving his sexual abuse may have been the original source. When we identify the original source of our anger and give it to the Lord He can set us free from our deep-rooted anger and transform us radically. Praise God for His ability to heal all our emotional pain and give us His peace! 

Medication took away All Her Feelings    70

I saw a Christian woman who had a lot of grief and anger. She told me that she had been depressed for over 35 years since her grandparents had died and she took Prozac for awhile, which took away her depression and all her other feelings. She said, "You could have cut off my arm and I would have looked at it and said 'You cut off my arm," without any emotion. It not only took away my depression but all my good feelings, too." She got off all her medications and she wanted help in overcoming her anger and depression. She had been molested five times as a child and had been married and divorced five times and had at least ten significant losses and she admitted that she had a lot of hatred. I explained to this woman how to overcome her grief by being completely honest about the things she missed about her grandparents and then praying and asking God to take her grief from her. She said she was a Christian and believed in prayer and was very willing to try this. 

We made a list of what she missed about her grandfather and then she prayed and gave her grief and sadness to the Lord. Afterwards she said she felt peaceful and calm about the loss of her grandfather. I saw her several weeks later and she said, "I feel a lot better." She stated that she prayed on her own about the loss of her grandmother, her mother, her stepfather, and her son-in-law and she felt complete peace about each of these losses. I asked her to rate her depression on a 10-point scale and she rated it as a zero and said she felt no depression. She said, "I know you're not supposed to hate, but I do." We talked about the five men who molested her as a child and her five former husbands, many of whom abused her physically, and she said the one she had the most anger toward was her second husband who abused her emotionally, verbally, sexually, and physically. She told me that he cheated on her, he was angry and controlling, he left her for another woman, and he held a gun to her head and threatened to kill her. He also blamed her for everything, believed women are inferior, and made her feel worthless, and made her feel like it was her fault that he abused her. We made a list of twelve things that she resented about him and then she prayed and told the Lord these things and asked Him to take all her anger from her. I asked the Lord what He wanted her to know and she said, "He had his own problems; it wasn't my fault that he abused me." She said she felt peaceful and had no more anger or feelings of shame. She said, "I'm excited because once I get rid of my hatred I can lose weight!" 

This woman has a lot more anger and grief to resolve but after one session and her praying on her own about four more losses her depression was already gone. Since she is willing to pray on her own she will be able to release the rest of her anger quickly and feel even better, and be completely set free from her destructive past and be able to serve the Lord with joy. What a joy it is to see the Lord work so mightily in people like this woman who lived with depression for over 35 years! 

Man Set Free from Homicidal Anger    71

A man told me that he wanted help with his anger. I shared with him that he could be set free by being honest about the reasons for his anger and giving them to God in prayer. He was very receptive and said that he believed in prayer and believed that God could set him free. I asked him who he felt most angry toward, among those who had wronged him. He said that he was very angry at a man who began calling his wife secretly and having long conversations with her about six years ago. When he confronted the man, the man denied it, lied to him, and then threatened to harm his children. He went over to the man's house with a gun, intending to shoot him but he was gone. Ever since this happened he continually looked for the man and even chased him one time inside a Walmart store. 

I asked him if he would like to get rid of this anger, and he said that he would. He identified four reasons for his anger and then I led him in a prayer in which he asked the Lord to take his anger from him and carry it for him. I also prayed and asked the Lord what he wanted the man to know. "Let it go, Jerry; it's Mine now." I asked him how he felt now as he thought about the man. He smiled and said he wasn't thinking about him any more and he felt no more anger. He said, "It's a thing of the past; I can't change it." I asked him what he thought about this and he said, "While we were talking about it, it made me want to go hurt him but now I'm okay. I don't have to go around looking for him constantly!" 

He smiled with his newfound peace and said that he could have ended up in prison because of his anger if he had ever caught this man but now he was at peace. He was still smiling when he left my office. The Lord set him free from his intense anger and obsession toward this other man that he had carried for six years. He can do the same for you if you have any anger toward someone who has wronged you. You cannot afford to hang onto anger; give it to the Lord and let Him carry it for you. "Do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity" (Eph. 4:27). 

Set Free from Anger toward Husband    72

A woman came with her disabled husband to a therapy session. He had come many times before and received a lot of healing but he was unsure about her willingness to pray about her issues. She had no church background or clear spiritual beliefs but he invited her with the hope that she would get some healing that would improve their marriage. She stated that her husband lashes out at times and she admitted that she had a lot of resentments and had to bite her tongue and keep her feelings to herself. I explained how it was possible to get rid of anger or grief through prayer and she said that she was willing to try it if it would help. 

Her husband left the room so she could talk freely and she told me that she felt more like a nurse than a wife since he had an accident that broke his neck and left him disabled. She said that he was moody, exploded in anger, and scared their children with his anger. Sometimes he screamed, yelled, and threw things in a fit of rage and she had to be the mature, responsible parent who worked to support them all and she had to take care of their children and then she had to take care of him with all his medical appointments and treatment needs. She resented that she never got to finish her college degree so she could make more money and he used marijuana which jeopardized their family and affected them in many ways. She identified 24 resentments she had toward her husband and then I led her in a prayer to give it all to the Lord. After the prayer I asked her how she felt. She thanked me for praying with her and listening and she said she felt no more anger but she felt more sadness. She said, "He's a good man, dad, and husband. He does so much for us every day." I explained how she could make a list of the reasons for her sadness and give them to the Lord also. I invited her husband back in the room and she smiled at him and grabbed his hand. He said, "There's a smile; I like that." In spite of the fact that this woman was an unbeliever she was willing to pray and give her anger to the Lord so that she could let go of her anger and feel better. 

This was the beginning of the healing process for this couple and for their marriage. It was also the first time she had ever prayed and seen an immediate, obvious answer to prayer and her heart opened up immediately to the Lord. I have seen many individuals who were unbelievers, even atheists, who were willing to pray and the Lord answered their prayers and their hearts softened to the Lord and they got saved. In the near future I expect both of these individuals will receive the Lord as their Savior because they have seen the power of God through prayer and the goodness of God in taking away their emotional burdens to give them peace. Jesus said, "love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous (Matthew 5:44-45). He loves people so much that he is willing to heal them so that they will see His goodness and come to accept Him as their Savior. What a joy it is to share His love with others! 

Woman Loses Anger and Weight    73

A young woman came for help with her anger and stress, which she believed made it difficult for her to lose weight. She said that she had a short temper and as we talked about her past I learned that she had some trauma in her childhood and she was angry at her mother, at her first husband who abused her, and at her present husband. Over several months we prayed about her anger at these people and she gradually began feeling more cheerful and calm and became more patient and less short-tempered. After the New Year she came to see me and was very happy. She said that she had no more anger toward her mother, and she was even teaching her how to overcome her anger and grief. She also said that she and her husband were fighting and yelling less because she felt a lot more calm than before and when he got upset she stayed calm so their fights did not escalate. 

On New Year’s Eve she decided to start getting up earlier and beginning her day by relaxing and reading the Bible. She felt so much more relaxed and calm that she began writing down what she was eating, began eating more healthy and began losing weight . She was thrilled and said, “I can tell this is going to stay because it feels different!” She told me that she saw a picture of her former boss on Facebook and she felt a twinge of anger, but she said she did not want to stay angry. So, we talked about her former boss and how badly her boss treated her. Her boss believed that she was in league with another employee who quit and started up a competing business, so she began treating her badly. Her boss tried to provoke her to quit so that she would not have to pay any unemployment on her but she refused to quit. The boss wrote her up for bogus things, gave her impossible tasks to complete, tried to get her to sign a blank disciplinary form and made her work late hours that kept her from her family. When she finally found another job her boss refused to answer her phone calls and texts so she had to drive to her house to return her computer and notify her that she was quitting. Her boss has not spoken to her since that day. Just talking about her boss stirred up her anger but after identifying 14 resentments she gave them to the Lord and asked Him to take them from her. Afterwards, I asked her how she felt. She said she felt neutral and she no longer had any anger toward her. She is determined to remain calm and full of peace. 

Having released all her anger toward her husband and toward people who had wronged her in the past, she has been able to eat in moderation and to stick with a reasonable diet. She left our last session feeling peaceful, smiling with joy, and eager to see her dietitian because when she lost her anger and the emotional burdens she was carrying, she felt much lighter and was also able to lose weight! 

Father Releases Anger at Meeting    74

A man came to a Set Free meeting and said his pastor had recommended that he come. He sat quietly throughout the meeting as we talked about how to be set free from grief, anger, and shame. As we neared the end of the meeting I asked him if he had any questions or comments. He said that he attended a Baptist church, had a wonderful wife, good children, and a good job but he disliked his anger. 

He said that he had gone to counselors and therapists for years but continued to have angry outbursts which he felt were damaging to his children. He said that his father was abusive to him when he was a child but he had changed and now they were good friends. He said he had forgiven his father and felt no resentment toward him. I asked him what he used to resent about his father. He said that he was never good enough, and couldn’t please him in spite of making straight A’s in school. His father always accused him of lying and believed that everyone was better than him. He praised others but not this man and only once said he was proud of him. Then he said, “One time he stuck a loaded gun in my mouth and threatened to kill me because he thought I had premarital sex, which I hadn’t.” He said his father always yelled at him and hit him excessively with a wooden paddle and left bruises on him, and he had to witness his father being violent with his mother. One time when he was scared of the dark he climbed in bed with his mother and his father dragged him out and threw him in his room. He was so scared that he cried for hours and his father threatened to beat him, leaving him with a strong fear of the dark. After identifying thirteen resentments he had previously toward his father I asked him if he would like to get rid of this, and he said that he would. I led him in a prayer and he began telling the Lord each of these resentment and how it made him angry. He broke into tears as he began praying and wept through the entire prayer, then he prayed, “Lord, I’m tired of carrying these feelings so right now I choose to give them to you, in Jesus’ name. Amen.” When we finished praying I asked him how he felt. He said, “It feels like it is gone. It feels like a thousand pounds were just lifted from me!” I told him to think about his father and all those resentments he had and tell me how he felt. He said, “I forgive him, I love him; I’m not mad. I came here feeling like I was carrying a thousand pounds.” 

He left smiling and rejoicing that the Lord had set him free from thirty years of anger. Many Christians are like this man; they say they have forgiven people from their past because they prayed to forgive them but they are unable to truly release their anger until they make a thorough list of the reasons for their anger and then release them. In order to have complete release from our anger we must be completely honest with the Lord and ask Him to take all our anger from us. When we are 100% honest about our anger with the Lord He gives us 100% freedom. May the Lord enable you to be completely honest about your past resentments and give them all to Him today so that you can experience His supernatural peace in your life. 

Husband says, “Just get over it!”    75

A Christian woman came for help with her feelings of anxiety and anger. She said that she and her husband used to use drugs together but she was saved at age 23 after witnessing a murder, and she and her husband regularly attend church now. She stated that her husband is a “great guy” now but in the early years of their marriage he was abusive to her and was unfaithful to her. Now she still has night terrors and struggles with her feelings of anxiety and anger which cause her to get irritated with the children she was teaching in her Sunday School class and she wants help with these feelings. I explained to her how to get rid of anger by making a list of the reasons for her anger toward a specific person and then giving them to the Lord and asking Him to carry them for her. 

Her father was an alcoholic who abused her mother when this woman was a child, and then her mother abandoned her for a man when she was 12 years old, so she had anger toward both of them. However, she said she was most angry at her husband who abused her when they were first married and had an affair and he led her to have an abortion, which she later regretted. Even though he is now a Christian she resented that he still nags at her, insists on doing everything his way, is dishonest about his own feelings, and tells her to “quit living in the past” and “just get over it” when she tries to talk with him about her struggles. She identified 12 reasons for her anger at him and then I led her in a prayer to ask the Lord to take her anger from her. Afterwards, I asked the Lord what He wanted her to know and she broke into tears. She said, “I don’t have to carry this anymore. He promised He would take it and carry it for me. He wants me to remember where I came from and to pray for my husband.” 

I asked her how she felt now and she said that her anger was gone and she just loved him and felt sorry for him. She felt sorry that he can’t let go of his own feelings, he’s lonely, he has truth in his head but not his heart, and he wants to let go and be free but is still in bondage to his past. I led her in another prayer to give this sadness to the Lord and then asked her how she felt. She smiled and said, “Happiness and joy; I feel no sadness or anger. It’s just peaceful!” It’s a miracle to see how the Lord sets people free, like this woman, so that they immediately release their anger and then feel sorry for their offender! 

This Christian woman had every right to be angry at her husband and when he told her, “Just get over it” and “Quit living in the past,” it just made her more frustrated and angry. She needed to talk about her anger, identify the specific reasons for it, and then give it all to the Lord in prayer. When she did this she was completely set free from her anger toward her husband and she left with a smile and with joy and peace in her heart. In the near future she may be able to share with her husband how he, too, can find freedom from his past. 

Never Wanted a Divorce    76

A woman told me how she married her first husband with a deep desire to remain married forever. Her own mother and father divorced and then she was molested by her stepfather. This was so damaging to her that she was determined to make her marriage work. She met her husband in college and when they got married she got pregnant and had a daughter that died a few days after she was born. This was devastating to her and made her depressed and angry at the doctors. She wanted to leave the home that constantly reminded her of her daughter so her husband reluctantly agreed to move with her to Oklahoma to be near her family. 

They had a son together and both she and her husband worked to support their young family. But her husband was unhappy being so far away from his mother and he resented her for it. He also had difficulty holding a job and he lost his job so she supported their family for six months while he looked for a job and played video games during his spare time. He never wanted to spend time with their son so this woman often had to ask him to stop playing his video games and spend time with their son. Then one day she found a pile of job applications he had filled out but had never turned in and she realized that he had not been applying for work at all. This upset her because she was supporting their family with her income while he was just staying home playing video games. They were struggling financially, their bills weren’t being paid, and they had no money to buy their son a birthday present and she found a receipt in his laundry for $60 that he had spent on a video game. She was enraged to realize that she was supporting their entire family while her husband was doing nothing but playing video games and wasting their money on video games when they couldn’t pay their bills. Although she didn’t believe in divorce she felt she had no choice but to file for divorce so she could survive and her husband happily returned home to be with his mother. He found a job and began to send her child-support money but he continued to live with his mother. He bought his son a cell phone but rarely called him and as he grew older it hurt her son to see how little interest his father took in him. This woman remarried to a good, responsible man but it made her angry that she was the sole care-giver for their son and that her ex-husband cared more about video games than his family. It also made her angry that he was so irresponsible and immature and could not stand to be away from his mother, and she felt compelled to divorce him. She identified twelve things she resented about her ex-husband and she prayed and gave these resentments to the Lord, but she still felt some anger. So, we made a list of four more resentments she had toward him: he was still not participating in their son’s life, her son was hurt by his father’s lack of interest in him, he was still so self-centered, and she couldn’t explain to her son why they divorced. She gave these four resentments to the Lord and asked Him to take them from her. 

After praying this second time I asked her how she felt. She had a pleasant smile come over her face and said, “I have a peaceful feeling; I feel no more anger or frustration.” She left feeling peaceful and calm and with no more anger toward her ex-husband. Before I first saw this woman she had a serious angry outburst and was diagnosed with “bipolar depression” and was medicated. All her feelings were numbed by medications and she felt hopeless and slept all the time, but now, after releasing all her anger and grief, she is no longer depressed or angry. As a result of prayer she is happy, getting along well with her new husband, has returned to church, and is beginning a new life free from anger and depression. 

Hundreds and Hundreds and Hundreds of Pounds Lifted    77

A woman came to me for help with her grief and anxiety, which began after her grandparents died two years ago. I prayed with her one time and she was able to release her grief over their loss and she released some anger toward her co-workers. When she came to the next session she told me that she was able to think about them without getting upset or tearful. But she still had some anger toward her co-workers so we made a list of five things that still upset her about them, especially the fact that they excluded her and treated her like she didn’t exist. She asked the Lord to take her anger and then she said her anger toward them was gone. 

I asked her if there was anything else that she wanted to pray about. She said she would like to pray about her mother and she told me how her mother never told her who her biological father was and she didn’t know that her stepfather was not her father until she was 16 years old. Her mother wanted her to have an abortion when she got pregnant at age 19 and seemed to resent her all the time. She favored this woman’s sisters and never told her that she loved her, so she felt unloved and felt like a burden to her mother. This woman said that her mother never praised her or showed her affection or told her that she was proud of her. We made a list of 20 things she resented about her mother and then she prayed and asked the Lord to take her anger from her. I prayed and asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted her to know. She broke into tears and I asked her why she was crying. She said, “That load is gone! A weight has been lifted off my shoulders.” I asked her how she felt about her mother now and she said, “I just love her. These are tears of joy.” I asked her what she thought about this prayer process and she said, “I like it. It’s like hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of pounds of weight were lifted off me!” 

We talked about how her anger toward her mother affected the way she responded to her co-workers. They were ignoring and excluding her and treating her like she was unimportant, just like her mother had treated her and every time this happened it triggered off these deeply rooted feelings of anger. Now that she has released her anger toward her mother and her co-workers she will be able to get along with them much better and not be so hurt by their rejection and exclusion. She left with joy and peace in her heart, thanking me for praying with her. 

Woman Releases Hatred of Ex-Husband    78

A woman came to me for help with her grief and anxiety attacks after she took extended leave from her job under the Family Medical Leave Act. The death of her grandparents was the triggering event that led to her grief but she was also having a lot of difficulty coping with anger toward her co-workers whom she felt were mistreating her. She was able to release her grief over the loss of her grandparents in our first session and immediately felt better, and she had released some anger toward her co-workers and mother also. But she still felt some anger and hostility toward her co-workers. 

We talked about her sister and how spoiled she was and how rude and ungrateful she was to this woman. This woman resented her for living off the state and not being responsible for her own children. We made a list of 14 resentments she had towards her sister and then she gave all these to the Lord and asked Him to take them from her and carry them for her. After this prayer she said, “I feel at ease” and she said she had no more anger toward her sister. 

She admitted that she also had a lot of anger toward her first husband, in fact, she admitted that she hated him for denying that her son was his. They got married and he was emotionally abusive to her for five years but he never was a good father to his child. After they divorced she had to fight him in court to get him to pay child support and he never supported his son emotionally, attended his ball games, or tried to be a father to him. She paid for her son’s vehicles and his college education. She identified 12 reasons for her hatred of her ex-husband but she said she wanted to get rid of her anger so she prayed and told the Lord all her resentments and then asked the Lord to take them from her. I asked her how she felt while thinking about her Ex- and she said, “Relieved. I feel no anger; just relieved. It feels weird.” This angry woman was so quickly relieved of her anger and hatred that she said, “It feels weird.” I asked her what she thought about this prayer process and she said, “It’s kind of amazing!” 

She was so full of joy and peace after releasing all her anger and she smiled a big smile and thanked me repeatedly for helping her. We discussed the fact that she had been carrying this anger for 22 years and that was the reason why she had gotten so angry at her co-workers. She said, "I feel more at peace now than I ever have," and she left the session free of the anger, grief, and anxiety which had brought her to me for help. 

Set Free from Hatred of Sex Abuser    79

A woman told me, “I have a hard time feeling like a Christian with these feelings of hatred toward a sexual abuser and my granddaughter’s mother.” She explained that this child’s mother knowingly married a registered sex offender and then the child was raped from age 7 to 13. When the girl told her mother about the sexual abuse, her mother did not believe her and the abuse continued until the sex offender was arrested for trafficking child pornography. He had taken over 4,000 pictures of the child being raped and sold it on the internet. The man was arrested and incarcerated, and the girl and her sister were removed from the mother who acted like they didn’t matter. She wrote on her Facebook, “It’s a new day and a new life.” 

All of this enraged the grandmother and made her hate this woman and the sexual abuser. The grandmother had been sexually abused by a relative and had already released her feelings of anger and shame over it. After praying about her feelings of sadness, anger, and shame over her own sexual abuse she said that she felt no more animosity toward the relative and had no more fear of him. In fact, she and her sister planned to visit her family and this man who had abused her and she felt no anxiety about it. But she felt so much anger and hatred toward the girl's mother and the man who abused her granddaughter that she had panic attacks when thinking about them. She said that she wanted to get rid of her hatred so we made a list of the reasons for her anger. She was angry that the girl's mother knowingly married a sex offender, subjected her daughter to sexual abuse, failed to protect her when there were clear signs of wrong-doing, failed to be a good mother, and casually discarded two beautiful girls in order to have an evil man at her side. She identified ten reasons for her anger at this woman and then she prayed and asked the Lord to take all her anger and hatred from her and carry it for her. I asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted this grandmother to know and the thought that came to her mind was, “God will take care of this.” I asked this woman how she felt after giving her anger to the Lord. She said, “Ok, now. No feelings; no anger.” 

She marveled at how the Lord consistently took her anger, grief, and shame every time she gave it to Him. Even though her anger was justified she knew it was wrong to harbor hatred, and she wanted to be done with her panic attacks and enjoy God’s peace. The child is safe now and this grandmother is learning the tools she needs to help her granddaughter resolve her sexual abuse trauma in the same way that she has, through emotion-healing prayer. 

Fifty Years of Marital Frustration Released    80

A Christian woman came for counseling regarding her frustrations with her husband. She stated that he was losing his hearing and would not wear a hearing aid so she had to repeat things to him frequently. When she raised her voice so he could hear he got upset and accused her of yelling at him. Other health issues made him more dependent on her so that she could no longer have time to herself or enjoy trips like she used to. She identified ten frustrations that she experienced and then she prayed and asked the Lord to take these from her. Afterwards, she said she felt lighter. When I asked her how she felt when she thought about him, she stated that she still felt frustrated, so I asked her what made her frustrated. She told me that he is hard to love because he is so harsh, cranky, and hard-headed. During their fifty years of marriage he gave her the silent treatment when he was upset with her and would not talk with her or have anything to do with her for weeks. His mother always resented her and wanted her out of the way, and when his mother got old he began taking care of her and neglecting his wife who felt like she was second place in his life. This made her feel lonely, especially when all their friends felt they had the “perfect marriage” and no one understood how difficult her marriage was. Her husband continued getting mad and sulking for weeks at a time and never apologized for his behavior. He never wanted to take care of the kids to allow her to do other things, and he chose to go hunting and fishing instead of going to church with her and the children. She identified 21 resentments she had towards him and then prayed and asked the Lord to take all her bitterness and anger from her. Afterwards, she told me that she felt better, and no longer felt angry, bitter, or hurt. She could think about her husband and his fifty years of selfishness and silent treatment and she just felt peaceful. 

We talked about the importance of learning to give our anger to the Lord and then never letting “the sun go down on your anger” (Eph. 4:26). She left with a smile on her face after giving her emotional burdens to the Lord. What a difference it would have made in this marriage if both she and her husband had learned to live by this principle fifty years ago! 

I see so many people with unresolved anger that I believe that a commitment to obey this one scripture would radically transform each of us, and transform our marriages, churches, and society. I pray that the Lord will move many people to make a pledge to live by this simple principle so that it will transform their lives. Making this pledge means that you will systematically release all past anger and then release all daily offenses before the end of each day. If you chose to make this pledge and contact us we will send you a wrist-band that says, “DO NOT LET THE SUN GO DOWN ON YOUR ANGER.” This band will be a reminder to you to give all your anger to the Lord at the end of each day and will give you a chance to share it with others who need to learn how to release their anger so that they will have peace in their lives. 

Muslim Man says “It works!”    81

I play racquetball with a young Arabic man and I recently asked him if he was a Muslim. He said that he was but that he was going to a Christian church to learn about Christianity and he was involved in a Bible study at work with some of his employees. I have studied Islam so I asked if he knew the two major differences between Christianity and Islam. I explained that the two biggest differences were that Christians believe God loves everyone, and that it is possible to be 100% sure of their salvation. Islam is very legalistic and has many rules to follow so no one can know for sure that they are going to heaven, and the god is Islam does not love the infidels. 

Several weeks later he told me about a co-worker who lost his father and was grieving and I asked him if he had ever lost anyone close to him. He said that he lost his wife three months earlier; he admitted that he missed her and tried to stay busy so he would not think about her. I told him that I could show him how to get rid of his grief and sadness through prayer. He was very interested but not ready, yet. Then one day we went to play racquetball and the courts were closed so I suggested that we go to McDonalds and talk about Islam or pray about his wife. He said that he didn’t want to talk about her but when we sat down he began talking about his wife and his father and his anger at both of them. He told me that his wife had a seizure disorder and deliberately neglected her health because she could not give him children. She was very jealous of him, she was more loyal to her parents than to him, and he felt suffocated and embarrassed by her. He identified 22 things he resented about her and I wrote these on a napkin, then I led him in a prayer and he gave his anger to the Lord. Afterwards he said he felt at peace. Then we talked about his father and he identified 15 things that he resented about him, and I led him in a prayer and he gave this anger to the Lord. Afterwards, he said he felt grateful for his father and he felt good and had no anger. He exclaimed, “This works! I’m not angry. I feel cool.” 

The following morning at 6:30 am he texted me and said, “Sir, the thing works! I woke up happy! Thank you.” In the last three weeks since then he has continued to tell me that the prayer worked and he is still happy. However, he has told me that he still misses his wife and feels shameful, that he should have done more to save her. He still has feelings of grief and shame and I offered to pray with him again. I told him to do an experiment and try to pray on his own and ask his god, Allah, to give him truth to set him free from his shame. 

When I meet with him again I plan to pray with him to show him how Jesus can set him free from his shame. Elijah proposed such a test at Mt. Carmel between God and the false gods of the Baals (1 Kings 18) to see who was the true God. After crying out to their false god all day without success, Elijah prayed to God who sent fire from heaven to light his altar that had been drenched with water. God showed His power through prayer and revealed Himself to the Israelites that day as the only true God. With this prayer ministry we have the opportunity to do the same with those who are worshipping a false god. My Muslim friend has even asked me if I would teach a class to his employees on how to manage stress through prayer! He knows that prayer works and now we’re going to test his god. God is working! 

Alcoholic Laughs after Release of Anger    82

A man came for help with his drinking. He told me that he received a DUI and needed 12 hours of counseling to get his driver’s license back. His mother was an alcoholic but his father was a church-going man who was good to him. As a child he begged his mother to stop drinking but she never did and he had a lot of anger toward her. The boys at his school teased his sisters a lot and called them racial names and he defended them and got into a lot of fights, so he had a lot of anger toward them as well. One time a boy at school stabbed his sister in the hand so he beat up the boy and was expelled from school for a year, but the other boy was suspended for just a day, which made him angry at the school administrators. After high school this man and his family moved to a county that was not dry and he had more access to alcohol and he began drinking heavily. He had a girlfriend who was unfaithful to him so his anger toward her fueled his drinking even more. He found another girlfriend but she disliked his drinking and broke up with him, then he got a DUI and decided that he needed to quit drinking. I talked with him about his background and identified five sources of anger and two significant losses he had suffered that made him feel badly and want to drink.

I explained to him how he could get rid of his anger through prayer and that as he got rid of his grief, anger, and shame he would lose the urge to drink. I told him that he could get rid of his anger by first making a list of the things he resented about someone and then giving it to the Lord in prayer. He told me that he never went to church or prayed but he was willing to try anything that would help him. I asked this man who he was most angry at, and he told me it was the boys who used to tease his sisters and fought him. He said it made him angry that they teased his sisters and called them vulgar and racial name, they made his sisters cry, they ganged up on his sisters as a group to tease them, one of them stabbed his sister in the hand, and he got kicked out of school for a year because of this boy. After identifying these five reasons for his anger I led him in a prayer and he gave his anger to the Lord and asked him to take it from him. Then I asked him to think about these boys and tell me how he felt. He smiled and said, “My mind went blank!” He said he felt calm and felt no anger. I asked him what he thought about this and he smiled a big smile and laughed and said, “That’s weird!” He agreed to return so we could pray some more to help him get rid of all his anger. As he left my office he was still smiling and laughing about how his anger had suddenly disappeared. 

He was amazed at the power of prayer to release him from his anger and he was eager to return for more healing. As he experiences more and more of God's power and goodness I believe he will come to receive the Lord as his Savior, just as his father apparently had. God is willing to heal unbelievers of their emotional pain when they turn to Him for help and this often leads to salvation. What a wonderful thing it is to see God working in people's lives to draw them to Him. 

Grinning Again   83

A man came to me who said he was a devout Christian but he was very stressed by his job which he had held for over 27 years. He was so stressed by his job and his boss that he prayed to get out of this job and he seriously interviewed for another job and considered moving to another town. He was so anxious that he couldn’t breathe well or sleep and his doctor prescribed him an antidepressant. He was very aggravated by his boss who was very indecisive and this led to many arguments and quarrels between the staff. He was also stressed by having to care for his elderly parents who had dementia and frequently required his attention. I shared with this man how he could get rid of a lot of stress by identifying the things about his job and boss that aggravated him, then praying through this list and giving it all to the Lord. He was a spiritual man and was receptive to this suggestion and said that he would do it. 

When he returned the following week he said did what I told him and wrote out everything about his boss that aggravated him and he came up with two legal-sized pages of things, then he prayed and asked the Lord to take his anger from him. He said it was instantly gone and he was amazed that it was such a simple thing to do but he had never thought of doing this. A day later he remembered three more things and said another prayer and gave those additional aggravations to the Lord. When he returned to work he said “I actually had fun at work today.” He performed his tests and presented the results to his boss with a smile and then let him make a decision about what to do and did not worry about the outcome. Several co-workers came to him to complain but he explained that he had done his job and he turned it over to God. He told them how he had made his list and given it to the Lord and encouraged them to do the same. One friend of his said, “I was wondering what happened because you just stood there and smiled while we were arguing.” His wife noticed the difference in him and said, “It’s nice to see you grinning again!” She told him that his big grin was one of the things that attracted her to him initially and he had not been grinning for awhile. She also said that she had noticed a personality change in him when he began taking the medication and she told him how to wean himself off that medication. He said, “I can breathe easily now” and “I can stay with this job and be happy until I retire!” 

Nothing had changed with his job or his boss, but something changed dramatically in him when he made a thorough list of the reasons for his aggravation and then gave them all to the Lord. It is so simple that it amazes people to see how powerful this simple process is, but the Lord has told us “Come unto Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden (overwhelmed) and I will give you rest” (Matt. 11:28). Isn’t it wonderful that we don’t have to carry our burdens alone? 

Set Free from Anger at Ex-Husband    84

A woman told me that she was very stressed from dealing with her ex-husband. He was verbally abusive with her during their marriage, in front of their child, but he left her and their child and began a new relationship with a woman in another state. After having no contact with their son for a year he suddenly decided that he wanted to see his son every other weekend, and he succeeded in getting a court to order the mother to drive their son ten hours away to meet him half way to his new home so he could see his son. However, the child was so young that he did not know his father anymore so it was very traumatic for him to be taken from his mother at age 3 and forced to be with a strange man for a week at a time. This father continued yelling at her over the phone so she refused to take his calls and insisted that he contact her by texting. He was resentful at her for having to drive ten hours to meet her and began demanding more time with his son. He falsely accused her of trying to make him look bad and telling their son that his stepfather was his “father.” She appealed to him to allow her to talk with her son over the phone when he was with a babysitter, to help relieve his fears but the father angrily refused to allow this. This woman was pregnant and was unable to drive ten hours in a vehicle to take her son so she had to have other family member transport him, then when the child’s father arrived he screamed and cried and had to be pried away from his relatives to be taken by the father. The father was untouched by this, however, and indifferent to the child’s emotional distress. This woman began having panic attacks when her ex-husband texted her and needed relief. We made a list of 22 resentments she had toward her Ex- and then she prayed and asked the Lord to take her anger from her and replace it with His peace. I asked the Lord what He wanted her to know, and she said, “It won’t last forever; my son will understand when he gets older. I’ve done what I can to be kind and loving to my Ex-.” I asked her how she felt and she said her anger was gone, and now she felt sad for him that he will have to live with these choices he is making. What an amazing thing it is to see people like this release their anger and the Lord simply takes it and replaces it with His peace. Even under such difficult circumstances the Lord wants us to have complete peace, and He will give it to us if we will be completely honest with Him about our anger and then ask Him to carry it for us! 

He Never Smiles!    85

I drove to a town in Arkansas to meet with a man and woman who wanted to show me their offices and recording studio. When I arrived I was surprised to see four young people around age 19 hanging around with their skateboards. I was introduced to them and asked if I would tell them about Set Free ministry and what I do while being videotaped. I agreed and we all sat in a small conference room together and I shared with them my history as a mental health counselor and how I learned to help people using a prayer-based technique. 

They listened attentively as I told them how a young man got rid of his anger toward his mother through prayer, then I asked the young people if any of them had any unresolved grief or anger. One boy said that he lost his father as a child, but he did not want to talk about it for fear of breaking down and crying. Another boy said he had some anger toward his mother that he wanted to get rid of, so I asked him what made him angry at her. He told me that his mother was a drunk, and spent all her money on alcohol. When he was younger she was emotionally and physically abusive but she still yells at him and belittles him, and she disapproves of all his decisions. He identified ten reasons for his anger and resentment and then he agreed to pray and give it all to the Lord. I led him in a prayer and he repeated as I read his list of resentments, then he asked the Lord to take it from him and carry it for him. After the prayer I asked him to think about his mother and tell me how he felt. He said, “It’s already gone. I don’t feel any anger anymore.” He smiled and I pointed out that he was smiling. One of his friends said, “He never smiles!” I tried to get him to think about his mother and stir up his anger again but he said it was gone. He said he was looking forward to going home and seeing his mother. I cautioned him that when he got home his mother would probably act the same and I advised him to be prepared and to commit himself to saying a prayer every night, and ask the Lord to take his anger from him each day and carry it for him. He agreed to do this and he pledged to follow the Scripture, “Do not let the sun go down on your anger,” so I gave him a wrist-band with those words. 

Two of the other young people agreed to make the same pledge and I gave them both a wrist-band. They asked to meet with me again to teach them more about how to be set free from their past and their unresolved feelings. What a joy it is to see young people like these learn how to cast their cares upon the Lord. My hope and prayer is that this small group will grow into an active, nurturing group of young people who will spread this message throughout their city, state, and the country. 

Thirty Years of Anger Released in Minutes    86

(Contributed by Mike Alsup, Tenn.) The Lord provided me with an opportunity to pray with a man who could not hold a job because of his anger. I asked him about his life and when he first felt this anger and he knew immediately where his anger began. His anger began when he was six years old. His step mother was very mean to him and abused him and his sister. She punished them while letting her own children do anything without consequences. He was forced to stand in the corner for hours, and at one point she tried to kill his dad. We made a list of twelve reasons for his anger toward his step mother. I asked him if he would like to get rid of the anger if he could. He said “yes” and I told him we would pray and ask the Lord to carry this burden. He repeated after me as I led him in prayer through the list of resentments then asked the Lord to take his anger from him. Then I asked the Lord what truth he wanted this man to know. He told me that the following thoughts came into his mind: “the Lord is going to carry this burden, you will see a difference in your life, the Lord is with me no matter what happens, the Lord will not leave me or forsake me, and the Lord will deal with my step mother and her wickedness.” I asked him to think about his step mother and tell me how he felt. He said "I don't feel anything." He said he had never heard the Lord's voice before, and it was humble and loving. The only voices he has heard in his mind before were negative and defeating. He left smiling with the burden lifted and his anger gone. The anger he had held for over thirty years was gone after just a few minutes of prayer! Praise the Lord! He is worthy of our praise! 

I Can Breathe Again    87

I met a woman who said she was angry at her children, her family, and God. She was a pleasant, Christian woman who did not look angry but as she talked about her anger she said she was becoming an angry, bitter woman and she did not want to be like this. She stated that she had tried to pray about her anger and give it to God by listing every resentment she could think of toward every person who had harmed her. She was embarrassed to admit that she was angry at God because she said we should never be angry at Him, but I reassured her that it was okay and it was important to be honest about it so she could get rid of it. 

I suggested that we begin with her anger toward God because it can have such an impact on a person’s life, and she agreed and said she would like to get rid of it. I asked this woman why she was angry at God and she told me that He doesn’t answer her prayers. She said she had cancer twice and almost died, and now she has heart problems and her husband has had serious back problems and surgery. She was also angry because of their financial problems and how they had struggled financially and had to do without many things that most people had. Her family sued her five times for an inheritance she had been given and it cost her a lot of money to hire lawyers to defend her in court. She had become bitter and angry, lost many friends, and felt abandoned by God because she had prayed many times for Him to take her anger and carry her burdens for her but He never helped her and she felt her burden was too heavy for her to bear. She complained that God never answered her prayer and she wanted to hear an audible answer. As I listened I wrote out fifteen things that she resented about God and she said she would like to get rid of this anger, so I led her in a prayer and she told God the reasons for her anger, then she asked Him to take her anger and carry it for her. I then prayed and asked the Lord what He wanted this woman to know. She began crying and said, “Come to Me now; I am here. Bring your burdens to Me and leave them. You are My child." These thoughts were very clear thoughts that she knew were from the Lord. I asked her if it felt true that she was His child, and she said it did. I asked her how she felt now and she said, “I feel a white light is surrounding me; I feel love. I no longer feel angry at God.” She looked so relieved and she took a deep breath and said, “I have had a tightness in my chest all week, and now I can breathe again. Now I can be who I really am, by His help.” This woman was encouraged to begin giving her anger to the Lord one-by-one, using this same process with each person toward whom she was angry. She agreed to do this and left with a smile on her face and peace in her heart. 

Set Free from Abusive Father    88

A woman and her husband were both court-ordered to get counseling after a domestic violence incident. When I did a prayer plan for her, which I always do with such cases, she disclosed that her father was an abusive alcoholic, she was sexually abused by multiple men as a child, and she had gone through three unhealthy marriages. It was obvious that she had multiple sources of her anger that needed to be addressed, so I explained to her how she could be set free from her anger by being completely honest about her anger toward someone by making a list of her resentments toward them, and then praying and giving her anger to God, asking Him to take it from her. She said that she believed in God and prayer and she was receptive to trying this approach.

I asked her who she felt the most anger toward of those in her background and she said it was her biological father. She told me how he had physically abused her mother and herself and her brother, he was a poor role model, he cheated on her mother, and he always belittled and rejected her brother which left him scarred and starving for acceptance. After her mother divorced him he refused to work or to pay any child support and he continued to have more children with other women, so she had many half-siblings she had never met and he neglected them as well. Her father never apologized for his abuse and neglect and when she saw him occasionally, he always tried to hug her and praise her but it seemed so insincere and fake to her. She said that her mother remarried to a good man who treated her well, but she was so angry at her father that she never appreciated her stepfather and she was hateful to him. She also had so much anger toward men that she went through three marriages. We made a list of fourteen reasons for her anger and she prayed and asked the Lord to take this anger from her. I asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted her to know. She said, "I always had a father (stepfather) who held a job and was good to me and was not abusive. I don't have to carry these burdens any more." I asked her to think about her biological father and tell me how she felt. She said she was "at peace" and had no anger toward him. She smiled a big smile and said, "I feel sorry for him because he has so much and doesn't see it." She left with peace and joy in her heart, having given this burden to the Lord. 

Anger Deleted    89

A young man told me he had been using meth regularly since age 15 and he was seeking help with it. As a child he was very angry and began getting into fights at about age 11, then at age 13 he beat up his mother’s boyfriend so badly that he was sent to juvenile prison for two years. He was raised by his mother, whom he loved, and most of his anger was rooted in his anger toward his biological father who spent a lot of time with his brothers and sister but never tried to visit him. One time his father told him that he wanted to kill him, and this created an intense hatred that simmered in him for years and led him to abuse drugs to feel better. I asked him if he would like to get rid of his anger and he said, “I’m trying to forgive; I want to forgive” but he did not know how to do it. I shared with him that it just took two simple steps to release his anger. First, he had to be honest about the reasons for his anger and make a list of his resentments toward his father, secondly, he needed to tell the Lord why he was angry and ask Him to take it from him and carry it for him. He said that he resented his father for never being there when he needed him, for wanting to kill him, and for spending time with his brothers but not with him. I led him in a prayer and he asked the Lord to take this anger from him. 

Afterwards, however, he said he felt the same; he was still angry. He admitted that he didn’t really want to forgive his father because if he did he would want to see him and hang out with him. I explained that that was not true; forgiveness only means releasing his anger, not a commitment to spend time with the person. He added that he resented his father for hitting his sister one time and breaking her jaw. He prayed again and asked the Lord to take all this anger from him. Instantly, he smiled and said that he forgave his father and no longer felt angry at him. He told me that he no longer wanted to kill his father.  

I saw this young man two weeks later and he said he had not thought anymore about his father. His anger, he said, was just “deleted” from his mind and he realized that he was fortunate to not be raised around his father because his brothers were all involved in drug cartels and violent gangs. He discussed his new-found freedom and peace. He got saved, felt forgiven, and was truly seeking the Lord and enjoying peace. Once he released his anger toward his father the Lord began to work miracles in his life and he was hungry for more truth. 

What a joy it was to see this angry young man smiling and to hear him talking about the Lord with excitement. The Lord did, indeed, delete his anger and set him free through prayer. Now he just needs to continue deleting his inbox on a daily basis so that the anger does not return. 

That’s Bizarre!    90

A Christian man asked me to pray with him about some feelings of anger that he had that were hindering his Christian walk. He had heard me speak about how to overcome feelings of anger and was eager to try it to see if it actually worked. He had some feelings of anger toward several people but especially toward his wife, and although his marriage was stable and neither of them was abusive, he wanted to improve his marriage. 

I asked him what his wife did or said that irritated or anger him. He said that she blows up in anger about minor things over which he had no control, and although she said that she was not angry at him, he felt like she was angry at him. It irritated him that he tried hard to show interest in her interests, but she belittled or dismissed his interests as unimportant. I asked him what else made him angry and he said that when he misunderstands her she gets very angry at him, and she tells him that she wants him to spend time alone but she always finds things for him to do that prevent him from being able to spend time alone. When she feels the need to talk she talks late into the night and at times that are very inconvenient, and if he dozes off during these lengthy talks she gets very angry. He identified eleven resentments he had toward his wife. I asked him if he would like to get rid of his anger toward her and he said he would, so I led him in a prayer and he told the Lord the eleven reasons for his anger and asked Him to take his anger and carry it for him. Then I prayed and asked the Lord to take his anger and asked if there was anything that the Lord wanted him to know. As I studied his face closely he began to smile and a surprised look came over his face. I asked him if he had any thoughts and he said, “I have an image of Jesus kissing me tenderly on my forehead!” I asked him what this meant to him. He said, “I’m worth something!” I asked him how he felt and he said, “I feel peace and hope.” I asked him how he felt toward his wife and he said, “I love her. There’s no more anger or irritation toward her. That’s bizarre!” Then he said, “Wait a minute; let me try to stir it up.” He thought about all the things that had irritated him about her and then he shook his head in surprise and said, “It’s not there; it’s gone. That’s bizarre!” he exclaimed. 

The Lord took all the irritation and anger this man had toward his wife and replaced it with His peace when he was honest with the Lord, asked Him to take it from him, and then listened quietly to see if the Lord had anything to tell him. He left smiling and feeling peace, hope, and love for his wife. What a wonderful tool prayer is for healing and strengthening marriages, even marriages that are relatively stable. He Loves Me! 

Woman Releases Anger toward God He Loves Me!   91

A Christian woman was referred to me for help with her depression. She had five tragic losses in her childhood, including the loss of her brother and her best friend around age 11 that led her to begin drinking and to become an alcoholic by age 16. She quit drinking at age 19 and began going to church, and as an adult she became a strong Christian woman whom everyone turned to for help. The death of her mother ten years ago led her to become depressed and the following year she lost her father and six close relatives of hers, which deepened her depression. Then six months ago her favorite aunt died and she cried a lot and quit eating, which led her to lose 50 pounds. She also lost custody of a foster child she had raised for 3.5 years and lost two other friends. I explained how she could get rid of her grief through prayer and asked her if she would like to do that. 

She told me that she couldn’t pray because she was so angry at God for taking all her closest friend from her. She said she was afraid to make new friends for fear of losing them, she felt that God did not accept her, and she was angry at Him because she had prayed repeatedly for Him to take away her anxieties and He didn’t do it. She was also angry at him for allowing bad things to happen to innocent children and He allowed her to be hurt as a child. I asked her if she would like to get rid of her anger at God by telling Him why she was angry and asking Him to take her anger from her. She said she would like to do that. I led this woman in a prayer and she gave all her anger to Him, then I asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted her to know. After a moment of quiet contemplation she said, “He loves me!” In spite of her complaints to God and telling Him how angry she was at Him He told her that He loved her. I asked the Lord if there was anything else He wanted her to know. She said, “He has protected me from other harm; I don’t have control over what happens to others. Stay in prayer.” 

With these thoughts from the Lord she said she felt better but still felt some anger because He brings so many people into her life, He lets her worry about her financial needs and then provides her needs. She wanted Him to provide for her needs in advance before sending the needy people to her. I led her in another prayer and she gave these resentments to the Lord, then I asked the Lord, again, what He wanted her to know. She said, “Stay in prayer; keep praying.” She said that she knew God has not left her and that He is there with her. She relaxed and told me that she was no longer angry at God; she was at peace. It amazes me how patient God is with us. We become angry at Him and He patiently listens to our complaints and then tells us He loves us, and gives us His peace. Psalms 103: 13-14 says, “Just as a father has compassion on his children, So the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him. For He Himself knows that we are but dust." 

Anger at a Dead Man     92

I saw a woman who had been depressed for five years since her husband died. I asked her if she would like to get rid of her grief and anger toward him and she asked me, "Are you a miracle worker?" I told her "no" but I had learned a way to help people get rid of their grief and anger. I shared with her a story about a young man who got rid of his grief through prayer and asked her if she would be interested in trying. She said, "I'm tired of being angry at a dead man. I want to put it to rest."

I explained that there were two steps: first, she had to be honest about her grief by making a list of everything she missed about him, and second, she had to pray and ask the Lord to take her grief from her. I asked her what she missed about him. She paused and said, "To tell you the truth, I don't miss him at all. I'm just angry at him." I explained that the same process for releasing grief works for anger, also. I asked her why she was angry at her deceased husband. She told me that he was never supportive of their son who ended up going to prison, he never defended her to his family and he visited them without her. She told me how he made financial decisions without involving her, he never talked with her about his daily life but he talked with everyone else all the time. He disliked doing things that she enjoyed, he never showed her any affection. He even injured himself seriously one time and did not tell her about it. She identified 21 things she resented about her husband. I led this woman in a prayer and she cried all the way through the prayer as she told the Lord why she was angry at her husband, then she asked the Lord to take her anger and carry it for her. 

Afterwards, I asked her how she felt and she said, "I feel light, like something's been lifted off my chest." I asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted her to know and I told her to let me know if any thoughts came into her mind. She said, "He loves me. He will be with me." Then I asked her how she felt toward her husband and she said, "Believe it or not, I don't feel any anger." I asked her what she thought about that and she said, "I am amazed! I feel peaceful. I feel good!" I pointed out to her that when people get rid of their anger they often have thoughts that come from the Lord to give them comfort. I asked her where that idea came from that God loved her, and I asked her how it felt. She said, "It just popped in there. It feels good and it feels true. It took a big old knot out of my heart." I told her that I'm not a miracle worker but that I knew who was. She smiled and agreed with me that God was the only one who does miracles and that she had just experienced a miracle in her life. She was very happy to let go of her anger toward a "dead man" and to finally put it to rest after five years. 

I Feel a Hug    93

A woman told me she was feeling “a whole lot better” since our last prayer session, but she was “done with relationships.” She had been involved in several abusive relationship previously and although her current boyfriend was good to her, she did not trust him and did not like him touching her. She wanted to talk about a former husband who had been abusive to her. 

She told me how charming he was initially, but then began to abuse her physically and emotionally. He was unfaithful to her and even hid his other woman in their house so they could cheat on her when she was home. He beat this woman many times while her children were watching, and this led to her loss of the children, eventually. He also lied to her and took everything from her and stalked her when they finally broke up. She identified 14 things she resented about this man, then prayed about her anger and told the Lord everything she resented. She asked the Lord to take her anger and carry it for her, then I prayed and asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted her to know. She hesitated for a short while then said, “I feel a hug!” She said that she felt that God was hugging her. I asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted her to know, and she said, “I need to quit carrying this and let it go and give it to Him. He loves me. Hang in there.” I asked her how she felt now and she said that this man is in prison for what he did and she felt no more anger toward him.  

She also wanted to talk about a boyfriend she had who was an alcoholic. She did everything she could to help him, including taking him to AA and to church but nothing helped. When he drank he became abusive to her and he was also unfaithful to her. He lied to her, manipulated her, and destroyed her trust in men and caused her to develop many fears and emotional problems. We made a list of 14 things about this man that she resented, then she prayed and gave these resentments to the Lord. When she asked the Lord to take her anger I prayed and asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted her to know. She said, “He has never left me (God) and He told me to run and leave this man. I know it was Him talking to me; He audibly told me.” I asked her how she felt now and she said, “I wish him the best. There’s no anger now. A weight’s been lifted.” This woman left smiling and with peace in her heart. 

The Lord took her anger, gave her a hug, and comforted her with His Spirit. I don't know how God does this, and it doesn't happen often, but every now and then I have had people tell me that they felt the arms of God around them while they were listening to his voice. God will make His presence known to you if you will cast your cares upon Him. “What a friend we have in Jesus!”

I’m Tired of Being Angry    94

A young woman said to me, “I’m tired of being angry. I want to be happy.” That is probably one of the most common complaints that I hear, and yet anger is not a mental health issue. There is no such diagnosis as an “anger disorder” although there are other diagnoses that include anger in adults as a component, such as “Intermittent Explosive Disorder,” “Bipolar Disorder,” and for children, “Conduct Disorder” or “Oppositional Defiant Disorder.” And the standard treatments used for anger are Cognitive Therapy and Anger Management, but the research on the effectiveness of these methods for anger are very poor. I used both of these approaches in my practice for years and they simply did not work. 

This woman told me that she was a full-time student and taking care of two children and her husband was gone a lot due to his work, so she felt very alone and overwhelmed with her responsibilities. She admitted that since her youngest child was born a year earlier, that she got upset easily with her husband about little things and she disliked this. I asked about her family history in order to see if there was anything in her past that made her angry. She admitted that her father was easily aggravated and he fought all the time with her mother. Her mother left her dad when this woman was 12 years old and this made her angry. She fought all the time with her sister who was mean and angry all the time. So, she probably had some unresolved anger toward her mother, father, and sister that needed to be resolved. I explained to this young woman that the only way I had found to help people get rid of anger was by making a list of the reasons for her anger and then giving it to God. She smiled and said that her grandmother took care of her after her mother left, and she took her to church and always told her to give her burdens to the Lord. 

She was willing to try this prayer-based approach so she identified 11 reasons for her anger toward her husband. She was angry because he was gone so much, he expected her to take care of the house and children without his help, he was not romantic with her, he seldom thanks her for what she does, and he gambles away a lot of money and can’t afford to buy her things that she wants. I led her in a prayer and she told the Lord the 11 things she resented about him, then she asked Him to take her anger and carry it for her. After praying I asked her how she felt. She said, “I feel like a lot of stuff just lifted from me.” She smiled and I asked her if she felt any anger. She said, “No anger.” I encouraged her to think about her husband and the things that bothered her about him, and try to stir it up again. She tried and said, again, that she felt no more anger toward him. 

The Lord lifted her anger when she was honest with Him about it and simply asked Him to take it from her. Therapists can’t do this, psychologists and psychiatrists can’t do this for you, and medications can’t do for you what Jesus can do when you are honest with him and cast all your cares and anxieties upon Him. He promised that He will give you rest when you are weary and heavy-laden, and when you come to Him and let Him carry your burdens for you (Matthew 11:28). 

Preacher’s Kid Set Free    95

I saw a woman who said she was a preacher’s kid but she had not prayed or gone to church for a long time. She was very angry at her husband who had died years earlier and when I prayed with her about her anger, she released it and felt peaceful and calm. When she came to her next session she told me, “I’ve been in a different state of mind. I’ve been so positive. I’m at peace. It feels nice.” She told me that every morning she had been closing her eyes and saying a little prayer and that God listens to her. This was a new experience for her in her Christian walk. 

As she talked she began to realize that she still had some anger toward her mother. She said that she never felt loved by her and stayed at her neighbor’s house most of the time, to avoid her mother, who was critical of her and who was very dominant over her father. Her mother was always mad at her and this woman felt like she could never please her. Although her mother is elderly now, she has never admitted that she mistreated her daughter who has never felt that she loved her. Her mother’s doctor told her that she should be forced to walk and not stay in her wheelchair, but when she took away the wheelchair, her mother called Adult Protective Services on her, and this made her mad. She identified nine resentments she had toward her mother and when I asked her if she wanted to get rid of her anger she tearfully said, “I’m tired of carrying it.” She prayed and asked the Lord to take her anger from her and carry it for her, then I prayed and asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted her to know. She had no thoughts but said, “I love her. I loved her laughter, when she got so tickled. She had some good qualities; she loved my children. I can remember the happy times now." 

This woman began recalling other good times she had with her mother and said she felt no more anger toward her. She said, “I can see the positive, now.” Her peace and smile returned to her and she talked about how excited she was about learning how to pray about her emotions. She said to me, “You’ve got me praying every morning!” That’s what happens when people learn how to give their bad feelings to the Lord and they begin to hear his voice of comfort, through the Holy Spirit. It gives them peace and joy, and revives their prayer life and their relationship with the Lord. This preacher’s kid was angry at her parents and had virtually forsaken her faith but now it is being revived as she is learning to pray about her feelings and discovering that God is truly good. 

Woman Feels Guilty about Anger    96

I saw a young woman who grew up in an abusive home and was kicked out at age 17 and began living on her own. She became involved with a young man who also began abusing her, so she got a restraining order on him and moved out of town. To her credit, she was holding down a full-time job, supporting herself, and she was learning to pray for God's strength in dealing with life on her own. She had never used drugs or been in trouble with the law, but she continued struggling with rejection from her mother and was having anxiety attacks, especially when she spent time around her mother. She admitted that she had angry thoughts about her mother so I shared with her how she could release her anger through prayer, and she was both willing and ready to get started. 

I asked her what made her angry toward her mother and she told me that her mother was very angry, manipulative, hateful, and abusive to her. She belittled this girl until she felt worthless and had suicidal thoughts, and was never loving or affectionate with her. Her mother did not work, and did not understand how hard it is to work and support yourself, but she criticized her daughter and told her that she would never amount to anything. When this young woman moved out of her mother's home, her mother kept her property and her last paycheck, and even refused to let her take her dog with her. Her mother spent all her time on social media on her computer and when her children needed her attention she screamed at them. The only attention she gave them was buying lavish gifts for them. While making this list of her resentments, she became tearful and said she felt guilty for talking about her mother badly and dishonoring her. I explained that we were not gossiping about her; we were simply making a list so that she could give it to God and release it. We continued and she told me that when she finally left home her mother beat her younger sister for contacting her, so she then lost all contact with her sisters. After listing these resentments, she prayed and told the Lord what she resented about her mother and then she asked Him to take her anger from her. I asked her how she felt afterwards, and she said "I feel much more calm and peaceful." She said that her anger toward her mother was gone and she felt calm while thinking about her. 

What an amazing thing it is to see a young person like this who is supporting herself and doing well, without any support from her parents, and yet her parents believe she is worthless and will never amount to anything. Thankfully, the Lord loves her and will give her peace and success as she continues to seek Him and to cast her cares upon Him. 

Teenager Releases Anger at Mother    97

A young man came for help with his anger. He told me that he was so angry that he was on the verge of getting into fights at school, and he got angry a lot at his family and girlfriend. I shared with him that he could get rid of his anger by making a list of the reasons for his anger at someone, then asking the Lord to take his anger from him. He admitted that he was angry at his biological father for not being around to help raise him, and at his mother for caring more about her drugs and men than for him and his brother. He said that he believed in prayer and would like to try praying on his own about his anger toward his stepdad. 

When he returned the second time he said he had been doing what I told him and had made a list of the reasons for his anger at his stepfather and then he prayed and gave his anger to the Lord, and he was no longer angry at him. He said that he would like to pray about his mother next. He was mostly raised by his grandparents who treated him well and loved him, but he and his brother lived with their mother for a number of years. She was not loving or affectionate with them and was rarely available to spend time with the boys. She abused drugs and gave this young man marijuana and encouraged him to quit school and use drugs with her, so she tried to be more of a friend with him than a mother. He didn’t know who his real father was until he was 6 years old and then she married his stepfather, he witnessed his stepdad abusing his mother which made him angry and feel guilty for not protecting her. He identified 14 reasons for his anger toward his mother, then I led him in a prayer and he gave his anger to the Lord. After the prayer he said he felt no more anger and he would not feel angry if she ever came around again. 

He then prayed about some anger he felt toward his girlfriend, and some anger he felt toward his family who lied to him about his father and never told him the whole truth. He gave his anger to the Lord and asked Him to take it from him. When people release their anger they often hear from the Lord so I prayed, “Lord, is there anything that you want this young man to know?” He then said, “I need to be there for my girlfriend,” and “my family was trying to protect me from a worse truth and “they really love me and want to give me what I missed out on.” 

These thoughts came from the Lord and gave him more peace. James 1:5 says, “If anyone lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously and without reproach, and it will be given him.” W.E Vine, author of “The Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words,” defines wisdom as “insight into the true nature of things.” This young man received insight into the true nature of his life and his mother and grandparents, and it gave him peace and forgiveness in his heart. After praying with me he said he felt no anger and “I feel a lot better.” He told me that he goes to church and he was glad to learn how to pray about his anger and to be set free from his negative feelings through prayer. This young man will be able to use this for the rest of his life and will no longer have to live in bondage to his past. 

Do not Give the Devil an Opportunity    98

A man came to me for help with his anger. His wife told him that he was angry all the time and he admitted that he was angry, especially at his boss and fellow-employees. I shared with him how to get rid of his anger and he systematically began to release his anger toward everyone that he had anger toward. Eventually, he became calm and cheerful and was happy at work and made the pledge “Do not let the sun go down on your anger,” and he began sharing this message with friends and co-workers. He began praying on a regular basis and told me that he prayed many times throughout the day to release his anger. 

However, his wife began to pull away from him and separated from him; he became suspicious that she was involved with another man. They had a good time together as a family over Christmas and he felt hopeful that they were getting closer, but she began asking him to take care of the children so she could do other things. He eventually realized that she was spending time with her boyfriend while he was taking care of the children, and he was deeply hurt and angered. He admitted that he missed her a lot and was grieving over her loss, so we made a list of things he missed about her, such as her eyes, her hair, her smile, and her laughter. He missed her affection, their conversations, going shopping together, and just spending time together. He identified 24 things he missed about her and then prayed and asked the Lord to take his grief from him, but he still missed her a lot. We made another list of 6 more things he missed about her and then he gave this to the Lord. After this second prayer he said that his grief was gone and he just felt angry at her for using him and not putting their children first. It made him mad that she deliberately picked fights with him and the children were upset when she left them with her mother so she could spend more time with her new man. 

She began taking off time from work to be with this man and refused to accept calls from her husband. He identified nine reasons for his anger and when I asked him if he wanted to get rid of his anger he said, “I think I want to hang onto it for awhile.” I reminded him of his pledge to not let the sun go down on his anger, and the dangerous consequences of holding onto resentments, but he was resolute. He said that maybe he would release his anger later, but for now he wanted to hold onto it. He wanted to “give her a dose of her own medicine.” This man has come a long, long way from when I first met him, but he can lose all that progress by holding onto his anger. 

We can’t afford to hang onto anger; none of us can. It gives the devil a foothold in our lives and can easily lead to affairs, addictions, and general unhappiness. I pray that this man, and each person reading this story, will make the pledge to not let the sun go down on your anger and hold firmly to it so the devil will not take advantage of it to lead you into sin or bondage. Your anger is justified, but if you hold onto it for even a day it can lead to defeat and bondage. 

Husband Mean to Wife   99

A young man came to me for help with his anger, marriage, and anxiety. He said that he argued a lot with his wife and said mean things when arguing with her, but he was a Christian and did not like being this way. He thought that this was rooted in his relationship with his father because his father had an explosive temper and was abusive to his mother, and yelled and said hateful things to him. It also made him very fearful and anxious, especially when his father came home late because he knew he was drinking, and he avoided going home. This anxiety led him to have panic attacks and to get sick at school. Although he said he gets along well with his father now, he still talked and cursed his father in his sleep at times. I shared with this young man how he could release his anger by making a list of the reasons for his anger toward his father, and then praying and asking the Lord to take his anger from him. He agreed to try this. 

When he returned the next time he said that he wrote down some resentments toward his father and gave them to the Lord. He was less angry and was less mean to his wife, but still had some anger. So, we talked more about his anger and he shared how, as a child, he lived in constant fear of punishment and fear of what could happen. He identified ten more things that made him angry at his father and he prayed and gave his anger to the Lord. I asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted his man to know. He just said, “It’s not my fault” and that felt true to him. I asked this man how he felt and he said, “I kind of feel sorry for him.” I asked why he felt sorry for his father and he said that his father’s dad was ten times worse. He said he felt no more anger and he felt “lighter.” 

The next time I saw this man he said that he had come to peace with his father but he had some anger toward his stepmother who was very good to him but tolerated his father’s anger and sometimes provoked him. We made a list of twelve reasons for his anger toward her, then he prayed and gave his anger to the Lord. I asked the Lord if there was anything that he wanted this man to know. He said, “her dad was abusive to her mother and her. That’s all she knew; she didn’t know any better.” He then said he felt a lot better and felt no more anger toward her. The next time I saw this young man he said he was doing “really good.” He was being a lot more patient with his wife, and was much less angry. He also said he had been praying a lot more and feeling good, and his wife could tell a difference in him, and she thanked him for being patient with her. They began praying together and he said he is praying every day about his worries and irritations. He even felt a lot less anxious and was no longer having panic attacks. When I asked him what he attributed this change to, he replied that he thought it was due to the prayers about specific sources of his anger, and he was excited about sharing this with his family, friends, and church.  

This case illustrates a very important lesson I have learned about couples. This man did not like being angry and mean to his wife, but he didn't know how to overcome it. Most of the time the anger that causes problems in a marriage is due to unresolved anger that the spouses have towards others in their past and once they resolve this anger the couple gets along well. This is why it is so important that couples pledge to "not let the sun go down on your anger" and begin by uprooting and releasing all anger they have towards those in their past. May God help each couple who reads this to make this pledge so that their marriage will be blessed. 

Abused Girl Releases Anger    100

A young girl came with her grandmother for counseling about her anger. She was a small, skinny girl with buck teeth and she smiled nervously as her grandmother talked about her background. This girl and her younger brother were abused by their parents who whipped them excessively and tied them to their beds. The girl's mother forced her to care for her brother and to be a mother to him, but beat her when she fed him. She told this girl that men did not like fat women so she starved the girl to keep her skinny. Her little brother was beaten so badly he required brain surgery, and the mother was sentenced to prison for child abuse.

I talked with the little girl about her anger toward her parents. She admitted that she was angry at them and at her school teacher who ridiculed her and mistreated her, and she was also teased by several children in her classroom. When I asked her if she would like to get rid of her anger she said that she would. I explained to the girl and her grandmother how she could get rid of anger by being honest and making a list of the reasons for her anger, then praying and asking God to take her anger from her. The grandmother was very excited about this, saying she went to church, and the girl said she would be willing to try it. I asked her who she was most angry at and she named a girl at school who picked on her and then she named her mother. I suggested that we start with her mother and she agreed. She told me she was angry at what her mother did to her, she wouldn't let them eat, she yelled and screamed at them, she made her be the mommy to her brother, she whipped her often and harshly, and she kept her from eating so that she would stay skinny. She identified 8 resentments she had toward her mother. I asked if I could lead her in a prayer and she was hesitant, but I told her she could say it silently in her mind and just nod to me when she was done. She agreed to do this and I led her in a prayer telling the Lord why she was angry at her mother. She leaned against her grandmother and clung to her arm as she prayed, nodding after each statement in the prayer. At the end she prayed with me, "Lord, I'm tired of being angry so right now I choose to give it to you, and I ask You to please take it from me and carry it for me. I give it to you now, in Jesus' name." After the prayer I asked her how she felt. She said she felt, "a little better." 

She still was angry because her mother was trying to get out of prison and she was afraid she would come back to get her. I led her in another prayer and she gave this anger to the Lord, then I asked the Lord what He wanted her to know. She had no thoughts but her grandmother said, "The Lord just told me that He was protecting her." The little girl said that felt true to her, that God was protecting her from her mother. I asked her again how she felt. She said, "Better." She said she felt no more anger toward her mother, and then she said she felt "happy." I encouraged her grandmother to help her pray some more about her anger toward the kids at school and the school teacher who treats her so badly, and the grandmother smiled and said she would. 

When they returned a month later the little girl was smiling and full of joy. She said that she was no longer angry at her father, and her teacher was being nicer to her, since her grandparents spoke with her. She admitted that she has some anger toward several people and she was very willing to pray about her anger. We made a list of the reasons for her anger and she repeated after me, word-for-word, as I led her in a prayer, showing how intelligent she is. When we were finished she was beaming with joy. 

It is sad to see a small child be treated so badly by her own mother and father, but it is wonderful to see them resolve these issues so that it will not affect them the rest of their lives. David said in the Scriptures, "For my father and my mother have forsaken me, But the Lord will take me up" (Psalm 27:10). Jesus loves the little children and wants to heal them from their childhood traumas  was gone after only one prayer session, even though she had been taking antidepressants for 18 years. 

Anger Floats Away    101

A young woman came for help with her anger and depression. Her father died recently and her mother and siblings never told her about his death or funeral because they were so angry and spiteful toward her. She told me how her mother verbally abused her as a young child and told her that she would never amount to anything. Her mother resented this woman for wanting to talk to her father after her parents divorced, and she was abusive to this woman when she was a child. This woman was forced to attend a school that had a lot of racial prejudice and so she was teased, taunted and bullied every day in school. She pleaded with her mother to take her out of this school but her mother would not, so she ran away and then her mother had her placed in a juvenile facility. Her mother never showed her any love or affection, she screamed at her and insulted her, and she was very angry and abusive to her at times, even sitting on her and choking her, saying "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out!" In spite of all this hateful treatment, this woman still longed for her mother's acceptance and love. She stated that her mother showed a lot of attention to her other children but wouldn't talk with this woman. She was deeply hurt when her mother failed to inform her about her father's death and she was full of grief and anger. I shared with this woman how she could be set free from her anger and grief by making a list of the reasons for them and then giving these feelings to the Lord. She gave her consent for this and we made a list of 37 resentments she had toward her mother. Then I led her in a prayer and told the Lord these 37 reasons for her anger, and she asked the Lord to take her anger from her and carry it for her. 

After our prayer she said that she had no thoughts come to her from the Lord. It is not necessary that we hear from the Lord to release our anger; we simply need to give it to Him and ask Him to take it from us. I asked her how she felt and she said, "It's going to be okay" (which was probably a thought from the Lord). When I asked her how she felt she said, "Okay. I feel no anger. It kind of just floated away." She smiled at me, and sat in front of me peaceful and free from her anger she had justifiably held for so long toward her mother. Now, she was able to go on with her life and live with the reality of having an abusive, mother who does not love her. I did not need to tell her that she was loved by the Lord, because it was clear from His healing and comfort that He loved her and cared for her. Paul said that, "The kindness of God that leads you to repentance" (Romans 2:4) and His kindness to this woman will lead her to draw close to Him in the future. 

Woman Set Free and Excited    102

A woman came for help with her anger. She was demoted at her job because of her anger and after being demoted she was more angry because she worked so hard to do a good job. We prayed about her anger toward her boss who demoted her and she felt much better and she got rid of her anger toward the boss. She was also angry at her former husband who still lived with her but did not pay rent or help her out financially, but she allowed him to stay with her so her son could see his father. After releasing her anger toward her boss she was much more relaxed and cheerful and she was able to calmly talk with her former husband and give him a deadline to leave her home. She felt good about this and confident that she could remain firm with him and quit enabling him in his irresponsible lifestyle. 

But she said that she was very sad about her aunt whose son had just moved away and left her all alone. She stated that her aunt was a good Christian woman who helped many people, even strangers and homeless people, but she had serious mood swings and acted cheerful when she was actually very depressed or angry. We made a list of eight reasons for her sadness about her aunt, then she prayed and asked the Lord to take her sadness from her. I prayed and asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted her to know. She said, "Everything's going to be Ok. We're going to help her with this ministry. I know she is strong." I asked her what emotion she felt and she told me she was "excited." She said, "I feel good now; there's no sadness. I have a plan." She stated that she was going to take a picture of the Anger Booklet and send it to her aunt and share with her how she had found relief and peace through this prayer ministry and she was sure her aunt would receive it and use it. She was very excited at her own freedom from anger and sadness and she was excited about sharing it with others because it had helped her so much. 

This is the way people get excited about Jesus. Most people are very timid about sharing their faith with others but when they get set free they get excited and want to tell everyone about it. That's the way it was in the New Testament church as believers witnessed miracles and became excited about the Lord. Acts 2:43 says, "Everyone felt a sense of awe!" As you use this ministry more and more in your life and find freedom, you will get excited about Jesus also and share Him with others. 

The Solution to Anger and Violence    103

A young man came for help with his anger. He had never been arrested before but got into an argument with his girlfriend and his neighbor called the police on him when he was seen trying to pull her back to his home. He was arrested and charged with assault and battery and told that the charges would be dropped if he completed 52 weeks of anger management. He admitted that he had anger problems and that he had some bad things happen to him in his childhood. I shared with him that I used to teach anger management but that it didn't work and the research on anger management confirmed that it was ineffective. Then I shared with him an example of a young man who was very angry about his mother abandoning him at age 8, and how he was set free from his anger through prayer. I assured him that I was not trying to push any religious beliefs on him and asked him if he would be willing to try this process. He told me that he had prayed "a few times before" and he was willing to try anything to get rid of his anger. 

I asked this young man if there was anyone in his past that had wronged him and made him angry. He said that he had anger toward his mother. He told me how his mother was a good mother until his parents divorced, then she began dating other men and they became more important to her than her children. She eventually settled down with a man whom she cared about more than her children, and who became emotionally abusive to them. She began using drugs and cooking meth with her boyfriend, and the fumes from these drugs were so strong that the children had to stay outdoors. She quit caring for them, and when he was 13 years old his mother disappeared with her boyfriend. Like the boy I had described to him, his mother abandoned him and his brothers and sister. They fed themselves for a week until they ran out of food, then they contacted a relative and began living with her. His mother continued abusing drugs for several more years and then went through treatment and quit using drugs, but still drank. She never apologized to them but did invite them to live with her again. We made a list of 12 reasons for his anger toward his mother and I asked him if I could lead him in a prayer to give his anger to the Lord and ask Him to take it from him. He consented and I led him in a prayer, telling the Lord each of the 12 reasons for his anger; then he asked the Lord to take his anger and carry it for him. I asked him how he felt afterwards. A tear rolled down his cheek and he said, "My chest got tighter as you went through the list, but now I can breathe." I asked him how he felt towards his mother. He said, "I want to give her another chance. I love her for the good times we had before." He was smiling and said that he felt no more anger toward her and he was calm, and was no longer frustrated or tense. 

I asked this young man if he would like to continue meeting with me to help him get rid of all of his anger, and he said he would. I explained that it won't take 52 weeks but I will meet with him until all his anger is gone, because this is not anger management but anger elimination. He continued smiling as we set up another appointment to get together to do a social history on him and to create a prayer plan to eliminate all of his anger. What a joy it is to help people find true peace and freedom from anger rather than to help people try to control or manage their anger. The Lord wants to take all our anger from us and replace it with His peace, and He will do this if we will simply be honest with Him and give it all to Him. Those who are not saved often come to salvation after they see God's power and grace in setting them free from their anger. 

This is the solution to the world's anger and violence; the world has no answers but the Lord can set us free from our anger, and that will stop the violence. Ephesians 4:26 says, "Do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity." If each pastor would commit himself to living by this verse and teaching this simple prayer process to his church, it would transform our churches and our society as well, but we must begin with our churches because the Lord says that "judgment begins with the household of God" (1 Peter 4:17). On the other hand, if the church cannot eliminate its anger by pledging to this verse, how can we expect the world to do it? Encourage your church to make this pledge and become an E426 church today and help Change America through Prayer. 

 "It's Pretty Cool!"   104

A young man came to me smiling. He said that he was no longer angry at his mother since we prayed about her, and he called her up and spoke to her over the phone. She was surprised that he called her because he had not spoken to her in a long time. I asked him what he thought about the prayer process and he said, "It's pretty cool!" We discussed his background to identify other sources of anger from his past. 

He was angry toward his mother's former boyfriend, who drank excessively and used drugs and got her to use drugs with him. He was angry toward his grandmother, who was always unhappy and grouchy, and he was angry toward his grandfather who was an alcoholic. But he was especially angry toward his biological father who always acted like he wanted to raise this young man but always used drugs so that he couldn't care for him. He resented that his father was lazy and irresponsible and lived with his mother and never worked. He also resented that his father was disrespectful to his mother, physically abused and controlled his girlfriends, cussed at him, called him names, and told him that he wished he had never been born. He identified 11 reasons for his anger toward his father and then I led him in a prayer in which he told the Lord the reasons for his anger and asked Him to take it from him. After we prayed I asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted this young man to know. He said, "I should try to love him anyway; he did bring me into this world." I asked him how he felt toward his father now. He said, "I love him and I don't want to lose him." He was smiling again and we talked about this prayer process. I explained how God talks to us and brings thoughts into our minds when we eliminate our anger and pray for truth. I asked him again what he thought about this prayer process. He said, "It's pretty cool! I like it!" 

This young man is gradually getting rid of his anger and he is learning how God is able to answer his prayers and set him free. In a short while, he will probably receive Jesus as His Savior as a result of these experiences. This prayer ministry is a wonderful evangelistic tool and it makes it exciting to pray with people to see them get saved and set free. 

Heroic Grace Heroic Grace toward Undeserving Husband    105

A Christian woman came for help with her depression. She grew up in a healthy, strong Christian home with loving parents who had been married 50 years and she had no history of depression or other mental disorders. She told me that she had been married for 13 years and that she and her husband never missed church. Everything seemed to be perfect until she discovered that her husband was having an affair with a woman at work who was pregnant with his child. Two weeks after learning this he told her that he was divorcing her and he changed the locks on the house and forced her and their son to move out so he could move his girlfriend in with him. This was devastating, but then her father died suddenly during her divorce, and her mother died shortly after that. 

The divorce was a “nightmare” as her ex-husband gave her custody of their son without a fight, but he took most of their assets and she learned that he had been hiding some assets and had been plotting this divorce for a year. She was depressed about the loss of both parents, her marriage, her home, her church, and her job because she had to move to get away from the turmoil and daily reminders. She moved into her parent’s home in another town but it reminded her of them so much that it kept her upset, so she was thinking about selling her house and moving. I explained to this woman that I had been a therapist for 40 years and had found nothing that helped with grief until I learned how to pray to release grief.As I shared with her an example of healing of grief, she became tearful and full of hope. She said she was a Christian and had prayed about her feelings but she had not given her grief to the Lord in detail as I had described. She said she thought she could do it herself.

I asked her what was the strongest feeling that she had that she would like to release. She told me that it was the loss of her mother and she suddenly became very tearful. I asked her if she was sure that she didn’t want me to help her with these feelings; she told me that she wanted me to help her. I asked her what she missed about her mother and she told me that she missed her voice, her good advice, her cooking, her support, and her strength. She also said that she missed hearing stories about her childhood, shopping with her, watching her rock her son and babysit him. She missed her love and affection, her hugs, and talking to her on the phone. She identified 30 things she missed about her mother and she wept through this entire process. Then I led her in a prayer and she told the Lord everything she missed about her mother and she asked the Lord to take her grief and carry it for her. I prayed and asked the Lord what He wanted her to know. She said, “He wants me to know she’s okay. She’s not suffering and my dad is with her.” When I asked her how she felt she said she felt happy that she was with her father and was not suffering anymore. She left my office with a big smile on her face.

Four days later she returned for a follow-up session. She said that she was doing well, she was not crying anymore, and she felt like a heavy weight was lifted off her chest. She was no longer struggling with living in her parents’ home and she was not thinking about selling it anymore. She had prayed on her own about the loss of her father and she felt happy while thinking about him. She also said that she was sleeping better and was no longer dreaming about her mother, and she felt no depression. I asked her if she would like to get rid of her anger toward her ex-husband and she said that she would. She talked about his lying, deceit, hypocrisy, plotting, and refusal to pay for things he had agreed to pay for in their divorce decree. She listed 22 reasons for her anger and then I led her in a prayer and she gave her anger to the Lord and asked Him to take it from her. I asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted her to know. She said, “It is biblically okay for me to remarry. There’s something better than this for me.” I asked her how she felt and she said, “I feel sorry for him really. He’s missing out on an exceptionally good son.” I asked if she felt any anger and she said she did not. She said, “I feel like a weight’s lifted.” I asked her what she thought about this prayer process and she said, “I think it’s awesome. I think my church will accept this because they have seen me at the altar every week. I prayed before and gave things to God but it always came back because I never listed it in detail like this." This woman was at total peace. 

In an act of heroic grace she no longer harbored any anger toward her ex-husband, and she was no longer depressed. The Lord set her completely free from her depression and grief in one session, and in the next session He set her free from her anger. Only God can set people free from such anger and grief so quickly because He is the author of heroic grace because Christ died for the ungodly. 

Anger at God Released    106

A young man told me that he had become lethargic and depressed recently. I inquired when this had begun and he stated that it began about two weeks earlier after he found out that his dog had some unusual health problems. When I asked him how it made him feel when he learned about these problems, he said that he became angry at God and became depressed. He rated his depression as an 8, on a 10-point scale. In the past I would have reasoned with him about his anger toward God and tried to persuade him of the foolishness of such anger and to share Biblical reasons why God allows evil to happen. However, I have learned that that is not a very productive way to respond to such issues. 

I simply asked him why he was angry at God and he told me the following: First, he was angry because God allowed his dog to get sick. Second, he was upset because his dog couldn’t understand why she was so sick. Third, he said he felt it was unfair that she would get sick because she was so young and innocent. Fourth, and last, he was angry because he was trying to do good and he felt that God should protect those who are trying to do right. Most Christians could shoot holes in these arguments theologically and defend God but I have found a far more effective and simple way to help people who are angry at God. The first step is to simply make a list of the reasons for the person’s anger toward God, and the second step is to lead them in a prayer, expressing the reasons for their anger and then asking the Lord to take their anger from them. He said he wanted to get rid of his anger so I led him in a prayer and he told the Lord why he was angry, then he asked the Lord to take his anger from him. After praying I asked him how he felt toward God. He said, “I feel the anger going away.” I asked him why he was no longer angry at God and he said the following: “God didn’t do it as a punishment. Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. In the end, everything will be made right.” 

He came to these conclusions on his own after he released his anger because the Lord spoke to his mind and told him these things. I didn’t need to say a word, other than lead him to give his anger to the Lord. The Lord does a much better job of clearing up our wrong thoughts when we are honest with Him and ask Him to take our anger from us. It’s not wrong to be angry at God, and God is able to handle our confusion and anger easily when we give it to Him. He is patient with us and understands that we are but dust and often cannot understand His purposes. The truth is that in the end the Lord will make everything right, and it is best to let Him tell those who are upset or angry at Him. When we tell them the truth, it often makes them more angry, but when the Lord tells them the truth, it changes their thinking supernaturally and gives them peace. 

I asked this young man about his depression after our prayer session, and he said it was gone. It dropped from an 8 to 0. I asked him what he thought about this and he said, “It’s amazing!” It truly is amazing to watch God work in the hearts and minds of people as they learn to pray effectively about their emotions and to find peace. 

Mom Anger Erased from Memory    107

A man sought help with his marriage and admitted that he overreacted to his wife when she went out with female friends to drink, even though she didn’t get drunk. His wife disclosed that he was like this even when they were teenagers. He said that when his wife drove away to be with her friends he felt physically sick and became nauseous, shook, and threw up. That strong of a reaction made it obvious that there was an earlier source to his reactions. 

I asked him when the first time was that he felt this way and he recalled feeling this way in his childhood when his mother drank and fought with her husband’s brother. It upset this man so much to see his mother behave like this with his uncle because his father was away working hard to support them while she was drinking and carrying on with his brother at home. Eventually, it led to a fight between his father and brother and then ultimately his parents divorced because of her drinking and her anger. Whenever his wife went out drinking with friends it stirred up these memories and negative feelings he had as a child when his mother drank. As he recalled these childhood memories he felt anger toward his uncle and his mother. He identified three reasons for his anger toward his uncle, then he prayed and asked the Lord to take his anger from him. He then discussed his anger toward his mother and identified 14 resentments he had toward her. He resented her drinking, her infidelity, her emotional harm of his father, her poor example, and her stubbornness and aggressiveness. He also resented that she still drank and became aggressive which made this man want to avoid her. He prayed and gave his anger to the Lord then I asked him how he felt toward her. He said that he loved her and cared greatly for her, and he no longer had any feelings of anger, disgust, or resentment toward her. When I saw this man a week later he said that our prayer session had “kind of erased from [his] memory” the childhood incidents that had bothered him. He felt good toward his mother and his wife, and he was no longer irritated at them and he had “found a lot of peace.” He was amazed at how much better he felt and he said he was hopeful about his marriage. 

When couples have marital problems there are always some underlying emotional difficulties that cause them to overreact to one another, and as they are identified and resolved the couple is able to get along and communicate well with each other. This man was not saved yet but he was amazed at how much better he was feeling in spite of his skepticism and lack of faith. As the Lord graciously brings healing to unbelievers when they pray and takes away their anger and grief, it often leads them to turn to Him for salvation. The Bible says the Lord causes “His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous” (Matt. 5:45) and it is the “kindness of God” that leads to repentance (Romans 2:4). 

Woman Fears Being Honest with God    108

A woman came to talk about her marriage. She had been married for 25 years but her husband, who works out of state most of the time, told her that he was living with another woman and planned to divorce her. I asked her how this made her feel and she denied being angry; she said she felt nothing except numbness. When I persisted she did eventually identify some things about her husband that bothered her and then she prayed to release this anger so that she could be happier and have more peace. 

Then she talked about how her mother-in-law had shunned her and her children for 24 years and would have nothing to do with them, until her husband died. Suddenly she began calling this woman every day and wanted to be her best friend, even criticizing her son for his infidelity. I asked her how she felt about her mother-in-law and she said she didn't like to talk about her. I asked her why and she said, "God will be mad at me and think I'm a horrible person." I asked permission to pray about that belief then I asked the Lord what He wanted her to know about this belief. She said, "It's not true; He wouldn't think I'm horrible." After hearing the truth from the Lord she was able to be honest and identified five more resentments she had toward her mother-in-law including the fact that she never apologized for the way she used to treat them. She disliked this woman's children and had nothing to do with them, but after her husband died she began giving Christmas presents to this woman's children and grandchildren who don't even know her. She prayed and told the Lord 10 reasons for her anger at her mother-in-law and she asked Him to take her anger from her. Her feelings of anger and irritation suddenly disappeared and she said she just felt some sadness for her because her own children did not take care of her. She prayed again and asked the Lord to take her sadness from her, and her sadness lifted and she felt better.

Although her husband is unfaithful to her she does not have to live with anger and unhappiness while he is living in sin and disobedience. I explained that when she has peace in her heart the Lord can speak to her and give her wisdom to know what to do about her husband. This woman's behavior exemplifies that of many Christians who believe it is wrong to feel angry so they suppress their emotions and deny them. The only way we can find emotional healing, however, is to be completely honest with God and ourselves, identify the reasons for our anger, and give them to the Lord. He will take them from us and carry them but we have to be willing to be completely honest with Him first. It's okay to be angry, according to Ephesians 4:26, but we can't afford to hold onto our anger for more than a day, or it will have serious consequences in our lives and "give the devil an opportunity." 

Woman Releases Hatred of Ex-Husband    109

A woman told me that she had been experiencing anxiety for the last five months. She was married and her husband was a deacon in their church, and he recently learned that he has cancer. She also learned that her father had cancer so this was stressful to her, but she was also stressed about her work because her boss had been fired and things were chaotic on her job. 

I asked her when she began feeling anxious and she said that five months ago she was lying on her couch at home and suddenly began shaking, sweating, and her heart began pounding heavily. Since then these anxiety attacks had increased and occurred at work and interfered with her work. She said that it frequently happened when her ex-husband came to her work place and smirked at her and watched her. She had lived with this man for ten years and he began using drugs and abusing her. At times he dragged her out of her car in store parking lots and beat her, and one time he dragged her out of bed in the middle of the night and threw her in the trunk of his car to punish her. Now he was in another relationship and was upset, so he began going to her work place and staring at her smugly to intimidate her. I asked this woman how she felt toward her ex-husband and she said she hated him. I shared with her how to get rid of her anger and hatred and asked her if she would like to do that. She indicated that she did so we made a list of ten things that she resented about him. She resented his violence and abuse of her, his intimidation, his former threats to kill her, and taking her children from her for several weeks and hiding them from her. After identifying ten things she hated about her former husband, she said a prayer and told the Lord these ten things and asked Him to take her anger from her. After the prayer I asked the Lord what He wanted her to know, but she had no thoughts come to her mind. I asked her how she felt toward him now and she said she felt no more anger and she even said that she felt sad for him. She stated that he grew up in a spiritual home and had deteriorated so badly that he abused drugs and made her “crazy with fear.” Now, she was relieved of her anger and hatred and just felt sorry for her ex-husband. 

It is wonderful that when we are honest with God about our anger and specify why we are angry, then ask Him to take our anger He supernaturally takes it and replaces it with His peace. He does this because He is the “Wonderful Counselor” and “God of all comfort who comforts us in all our affliction” (2 Cor. 1:4). 

Loving Your Neighbor    110

A mature Christian man said that he found himself eating compulsively when he was not hungry and he was gaining weight. I asked him when this happened the most and he said that it was when he thought about his former job where he felt so stressed. 

He worked there for 20 years and worked 75 hours per week and never got a vacation or was rewarded financially for his hard work. It bothered him that he missed out on seeing his kids grow up and on having a good relationship with his father because he was always working and he felt like a failure for not being tougher on the employees who needed to be fired. I asked him if he would like to get rid of this anger and he said he would, so I led him in a prayer and he gave his anger to the Lord. I asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted this man to know, but no thoughts came to him. 

I asked this man how he felt and he said that he felt very anxious. The thoughts connected to his anxiety were about his neighbor. He tried to be a good neighbor to this man, but the neighbor was disabled and wheel-chair bound and was always complaining and causing problems for him. The neighbor called the police when this man’s children shot off fireworks, he put up no-trespassing signs around his property even though they never trespassed onto his yard, and he threatened to shoot their dog if it came onto his property. He had yard work done that caused this man’s yard to be torn up, he installed 9 bright lights around his property, called the police about his dog barking when it was another neighbor’s dog, and he almost blew up his house when there was a gas leak. In addition, he tells lies about this man in their small town and treats him badly no matter how hard this man tried to be a good neighbor to him. After identifying 14 reasons for his anger toward his neighbor, he prayed and asked the Lord to take his anger from him. Then I asked the Lord if there was anything that he wanted this man to know. He said, “Thank you, son. I didn’t fail at the former job. It wasn’t God’s plan for me. Relationships are more important than profit. Those people needed a job.” “How do you feel now about your neighbor?” I asked. He said, “Okay. It was a good time.” He said that he felt no anger or guilt about his former job, and he just had good memories. 

I asked him how he felt about his neighbor now. He said, “I feel sorry for him. He is a Vietnam vet, he has PTSD, and I appreciate his service for our country. I know that he has a lot of problems that he needs help with.” This man was justifiably angry at his neighbor and his former job, but the Lord took those feelings from him and replaced them with peace. He felt calm and thankful after the prayer session and was no longer stressed when thinking about his former job or his neighbor. After releasing his anger, the Lord spoke to him and gave him peace. Chances are that he will eat less compulsively, too, with these issues resolved. It’s wonderful how the Lord comforts us and gives us His peace when we remember to give Him all our anger and frustration. With this newfound peace this man will be much more able to love his neighbor, as the Lord desires. May each of us do the same as this man so that we can love our neighbors better. 

Dog Reawakens Anger    111

A man told me that he gets excessively angry at his dog when he goes home and the dog gets so excited that she urinates all over the house. I asked how that made him feel and he admitted that he felt angry, but he also felt frustrated and helpless in dealing with the dog. 

Since feelings of helplessness are belief-based I asked when was the first time he felt such frustration and helplessness and he quickly recalled a time in the third grade when he was taken out of his class and informed that his mother had a nervous breakdown and was being hospitalized. He felt helpless and angry and thought "I can't do this; I'm too small and too young to take care of myself." I prayed for truth about this belief and instructed him to be quiet and let me know if any thoughts came to his mind. He said the thoughts came to him, "You can do this; I've got it. I will give you what you need." I asked him how that made him feel and he said he felt "peace." I asked this man if he had complete peace or if he had any other feelings. He stated that he felt some anger at the way the school staff handled this news in front of his class, and he also felt some anger toward his mother for being so self-centered and manipulative. He told me how she had frequently manipulated her husband and children for attention and made their lives miserable. Even after the children were grown she continued to manipulate them by neglecting herself so that they would take care of her. He identified 16 things that he resented about his mother and then I led him in a prayer asking the Lord to take his anger and carry it for him. Afterwards, I asked Lord what He wanted this man to know. He said, "I've got this; I love you." He said that he felt peaceful and had no more anger toward his mother. When he thought about the 3rd grade memory again he felt no more anger or helplessness, and he could think about his dog without feeling any anger. He was excited about how the Lord spoke to him and gave him peace. A short while later he texted and thanked me for the prayers and said, "I feel like I am wearing peace."  

Who would have thought that the excited, out-of-control behavior of a dog could trigger off feelings of helplessness and anger that he had originally felt as a child when his mother frustrated him with her antics and mental problems? And how awesome it was that the Lord set him free from his anger and feelings of helplessness as he prayed, gave his anger to the Lord, and received some truth that set him free! 

Man with Wristband Still Angry    112

I spoke with a man who was struggling with anxiety and depression. He had previously received some prayer ministry and released some anger and he was wearing a Set Free wristband that says, “Do not let the sun go down on your anger.” But he was very anxious and depressed because he was working for his best friend and living in a house owned by his friend, along with several other recovering addicts. His best friend was in a serious car accident that left him with brain damage, so he was not being paid for his work and he had no other source of income. He was unable to buy food and basic toiletries and he was also struggling with getting along with his roommates who were hostile to his Christian beliefs. He said he felt trapped in this house and was angry, and hopeless and felt there was no way out. 

I asked him when he first felt trapped and hopeless like this and he said it was when he sat in a cell several years earlier while waiting to go to prison for a drug charge. I told him to focus on this memory then I prayed for him and asked the Lord if there was anything He wanted this man to know. “This too shall pass; I’ve got this,” he said. I asked him how he felt now and he said he still felt hopeless and trapped. I tried again, thinking he must have an earlier source to his feeling, and asked him when the first time was that he felt so hopeless. He said it was when he was in his thirties and he realized that he was a drug addict. I told him to focus on this memory and I prayed again for him, asking the Lord what He wanted this man to know about his belief that he was hopeless and trapped. Afterwards I asked him if he had any thoughts come to him and he said he did not; he still felt the same. Since he was not receiving any truth from the Lord I suspected that he had some anger that was blocking him from hearing from the Lord.

I asked him if he felt any anger toward anyone and he admitted that he was angry at his father and at his friend’s girlfriend who disliked him. We talked about his father whom he said was absent from his life for the first six years, and then suddenly returned. He taught this man to drink and be an “outlaw,” he yelled at him and verbally abused him, he still tells him that he is a failure, and he refuses to help him now in his time of need. It also angered him that his father is so stubborn, and abusive, and refuses to submit to God. After identifying 8 resentments he prayed and gave his anger to the Lord and asked Him to take it and carry it for him. His anger suddenly left him. Now, he just felt sad that he was not close to his father, he could say nothing to influence him to change, and he felt sad to think that he would not see his father in heaven. He asked the Lord to take this sadness and carry it for him. I asked the Lord what he wanted this man to know. He said, “Stop beating yourself up. I’ve got this. It’s going to be alright.” I asked him how he felt now, and he said he felt better and had no more sadness or anger, and he felt hopeful and believed the Lord was going to take care of him. 

Once he got rid of his anger the Lord spoke to him and comforted him and gave him hope, because his anger prevented him from hearing from the Lord. Even though he was wearing the wristband, he was still harboring anger that was preventing him from hearing from the Lord and finding hope. We need to get rid of all of our anger so that the Lord can comfort us with truth from the Holy Spirit. 

Set Free from Anger and Doubts    113

A young man came for counseling for some compulsive behaviors that were causing distress in his marriage. He said that he was a Christian but he was having doubts about his salvation because he had prayed repeatedly for God to take away his impulses and his lust, and nothing ever happened. He even admitted that he felt angry at God about this. As we spoke he disclosed that he was also angry at his mother and at his wife and at some former girlfriends and that he had been molested as a child. I explained that when an individual is molested and is angry at various people that they are unhappy and are very vulnerable to temptations to do things that make them feel better, like drugs, alcohol, and sexual activities. He admitted that this had happened with him and he began realizing that prior to engaging in his compulsive behaviors he felt lonely, angry, or shameful. 

This young man admitted that he was angry at his mother for going out with so many different men, most of whom were drunks and addicts, and she never settled down to give him a father figure. She stayed out late and dated a man who was a drunk and was mean to him as a child. He tried to encourage his mother and help her change by quoting scriptures to her, but she never changed. She was always angry at him, threatened to send him away and abandon him. He identified 11 reasons for his anger toward his mother, and then I led him in a prayer and he gave his anger to the Lord and asked Him to take it and carry it for him. After the prayer I asked him how he felt. He said he felt sad because his mother is trapped in this lifestyle, she is very unhappy, and his siblings were still living with her and suffering from her lifestyle. I led the young man in another prayer to give his sadness to the Lord. Afterwards, I asked him how he felt. He said that he no longer felt any anger or sadness. He just felt neutral and peaceful. He added, “I can help.” 

This young man left feeling peaceful and calm and without any anger toward his mother. He was encouraged to pray about his anger toward his wife and former girlfriends so that he will experience peace. As he resolves his anger and shame from past experiences he will also discover that his compulsive behaviors will stop because the compulsive behaviors are driven by a desire to feel better quickly, but when the negative feelings people carry are removed they already feel good without doing these things. The Lord wants to set us free and He is willing to do so as we are honest with Him about our feelings and learn to take them to Him in prayer. Not only will He set us free but as He demonstrates His power in our lives it will remove all doubts about our salvation. 

Teenager Skeptical about Prayer     114

A teenage girl came for help with her anger and anxiety. She was angry at her father, former boyfriend, and another friend who had recently ended their lifetime friendship. She was so full of anger that sometimes it triggered off episodes of anxiety, especially when her boyfriend broke up with her. We discussed her history and I learned that her parents divorced when she was 10 years old, which also contributes to anxiety in children. I shared with her how she could get rid of her anger and grief through prayer and she was a little skeptical and hesitant. She said that her father always told her to "pray about it" but he was a hypocrite and had frequent affairs. She used to be heavily involved in church and was a strong Christian but she had given up on it because she never saw any answers to her prayers. I challenged her to give this ministry a try and I helped her make a list of the reasons for her anger toward her father. 

When this girl returned she said she "sort of" prayed through the list but she still felt angry at her father. We talked about the reasons for her anger and came up with a list of 19 things she resented about him. She was angry that he never had time for her, he was always unfaithful to his girlfriends, and he pretended to be spiritual and told her to pray about her problems, but he would never listen to her talk about her feelings. Then I led her in a prayer and she prayed silently as I led her, and she gave her anger to the Lord. She felt better afterwards. 

The following week she said she was no longer angry at her father, and her mother said she was doing much better. The girl said, "I have been so happy recently" and she had been talking more with her friends and not obsessing about her former boyfriend. She was still skeptical, however, so we talked about her former boyfriend and identified 22 resentments she had towards him. I led her in another prayer and she gave her anger to the Lord and asked Him to take it from her. After this prayer she said she felt no anger toward him but she still missed him. We then made a list of 15 things she missed about him and she prayed and gave this grief to Him. She said she felt better afterwards but still had some sadness, so I encouraged her to make another list, adding other things she missed about him. She promised to take this list and pray through it, asking the Lord to take all her grief and sadness. She left smiling and feeling hope of being able to release all her grief and sadness. When she releases all of these feelings she will no longer be in emotional bondage to her former boyfriend, whom she admitted had an anger problem and was sometimes harmful to himself and even suicidal. It will also improve her chances of finding a boyfriend who is more emotionally healthy and will provide her a long-term, healthy relationship. Once she releases all her anger, her anxiety will probably go away, but if not we will pray about it also so she can live in complete peace.