BIPOLAR AND HOPELESS 1
A teenager drove a long distance with her mother to see me after being diagnosed as bipolar. She came from a stable family and got along well with both parents and her siblings but during the last three years she had been involved with a young man who repeatedly became involved with other girls. She struggled with this up and down relationship for several years and at times became depressed due to this unstable relationship. She eventually broke up with her boyfriend but in the last eight months she lost three close friends, one of whom committed suicide and one of whom was murdered. When she went to a psychiatrist she was told she was “Bipolar” and would have to be on meTdication the rest of her life.
This announcement further depressed her and made her feel hopeless. She disliked the medications which had unpleasant side effects including manic feelings. I encouraged her to educate herself about the medications she was taking so she could discuss them with her doctor.
Her intake form stated that she was “Unsure” about any religious beliefs so I was very cautious about suggesting prayer as an intervention for her anger and grief. I gave her an example of another teenager her age who released his grief through prayer and assured her that I did not want to push any religious beliefs on her. However, she and her mother both lit up and smiled and said they had recently returned to their faith. The girl told me that she had been “on fire for God” when she was younger but had not been to church for five years. She stated that she had begun praying again over the last three weeks and had found it helpful.
She was eager to try anything that might help her feel better and she stated that her strongest pain was at the loss of a close friend two weeks earlier.
I encouraged her to talk about her friend and what she missed about him. I made a list as she tearfully spoke about him, then I led her in a prayer in which she was completely honest with the Lord about her feelings. When we finished praying and asked God to take her grief from her, I asked the Lord if there was anything He wanted her to know. She told me, “He’s okay. I’m happy he’s not in this sinful world and I’m glad I got to spend time with him while he was still here.” I asked her if it felt true to say “He’s okay” and she said it did. That thought brought peace to her heart.
She said she felt peaceful and calm while thinking about her friend who had died, and she and her mother were both beaming with joy when they left. Her mother said that it was worth the long trip they had made to come to the appointment.
The girl had found relief from her intense grief and she promised to pray about the other grief and anger issues on her own. She was also thrilled to not feel hopeless anymore that she would be stuck with these negative emotions and have to be on medication the rest of her life. The Lord had replaced her emotional pain with peace, joy, and hope in the short time we spent praying. What a wonderful God we have who comforts the brokenhearted and sets the captives free!
Depressed Woman Refuses Pills 2
A woman sought counseling for her depression. Two weeks earlier she had become very frustrated with her husband and threatened to overdose on pills. She went to a counselor who tried to hospitalize her but she said she was not suicidal, so she was sent to a doctor who prescribed her some Ambien and Lorazepam. However, she said “I don’t want to take pills to solve my problems” so she flushed the pills when she got home with them. She had a history of drug abuse and knew that pills were not going to solve her problem.
This woman was depressed and had a history of problems. She had been sexually abused in childhood, her father went to prison when she was a child, her first husband murdered her brother, and she was abused by one of her husbands. She also had a history of theft and went to prison several times, but in her last prison stint she was housed in a Christian unit and read her Bible all day and got saved. When she was released she got married again and began going to church. Her husband made her sign a prenuptial agreement before their marriage then told her to quit her job and he would support her, so she did and she worked side-by-side with him on his business.
She got upset at him, however, because he never gave her any money to spend but he always carried a lot of money on him. She never had any money and all their property and vehicles were registered in her husband’s name alone. She talked with him about these issues but he refused to change and she felt anxious and worried that something could happen to her husband and he would leave her nothing. One day she got so upset with him that she threatened to overdose on some pills. It was then that she was taken to a counselor and given pills that she flushed.
I spoke with her about her anger, grief, and sexual abuse and how the Lord could take it all from her and give her peace through prayer. She was very receptive to this approach.
The next time I saw this woman she said that she apologized to her husband for threatening to divorce him and she took her entire family with her to church. She was ready to get started praying. We talked about her anger toward her husband and she identified 18 reasons for her anger. In addition to his financial selfishness, she said that he tells her how pretty other women are and never tells her that she is pretty. He did not show her any affection, he looked at other women leeringly, he called her children names, and showed no respect to her or others. After making this list I led her in a prayer and she tearfully asked the Lord to take her anger from her. Immediately, she said she was “at peace” and felt no more anger toward her husband.
We then made a list of 7 reasons for her anger toward her brother who had been murdered. As children she and her brother were very close but as he grew older he became angry and violent. He became abusive to her and especially toward her mother. She prayed and asked the Lord to take her anger from her and then she said that she felt her heart racing because she loved him so much, and she felt no more anger toward him. She began to recall good childhood memories with her brother and she made a list of 15 things she missed about him. I led her in a prayer and she tearfully told the Lord everything she missed about him. Immediately following this prayer she said, “I feel happy and content.” She said that she felt no more anger, grief, or sadness about her brother. Her heart was full of love for her brother and her husband as she left smiling.
She promised that she would do some more praying on her own to get rid of more anger and grief and as she continues praying and getting more peace the Lord will give her wisdom regarding her husband and how to deal with him. This woman refused to try to solve her problems with pills, but she found that the Lord could set her free, indeed, from her pain and replace it with His peace.
Fifteen-year-old Set Free 3
A young, teenage girl came for help with her depression. I saw her once before when she was desperate and had no place to live because her grandmother was moving out of state due to her health problems, and her father had just been released from prison and was unemployed, and her mother was unemployed and living with her unemployed boyfriend. She had been living with her grandmother who was good to her but she did move away, and then she lived with her father and his new wife who were both unemployed but it was unpleasant to live with them. She began living with a friend who had six children and this woman was good to her but this girl was very sad about her grandmother leaving and she cried a lot and was depressed and worried about her future.
She rated her depression as a 9, on a 10-point scale.
I asked her what she missed about her grandmother. She said that she missed her grandmother's cooking, her laughter, and taking care of her. Her grandma taught her how to cook and shop and she missed spending time with her talking, and watching TV together, discussing the Bible, and giving her hugs and kisses. She also missed the little things her grandmother did for her and her brother, taking them out to eat, and sitting and talking with her a lot. She identified 21 things she missed about her grandmother and she told me how she used to go to church and watched church services on TV with her grandma. I explained to her how she could get rid of her grief by praying and asking the Lord to take her grief, so she said she was willing to do this. As I led her in a prayer she cried about her grandmother, then she asked the Lord to take her grief from her. Afterwards I asked her how she felt, and she said she felt better.
She said she still felt sad so we made a list of what made her sad about her grandmother. It made her sad that her grandma was so sick, and that she could lose her soon, and it made her sad that she was not present. She identified 7 reasons for her sadness and then she gave her sadness to the Lord. After our prayer I asked her how she felt and she said she felt relieved but she still missed her. However, she was no longer tearful and she was smiling and told me that she planned to get a job and get emancipated so she could take care of her brother. Her depression was gone and she left smiling and feeling positive about her future in spite of the fact that she was needing to get a job to take care of herself because her parents were irresponsible and unable to take care of her. I was amazed to see this girl launching out on her own without any family support at such a young age, and I was excited to help her get rid of her depression so that she could do so. With God's peace in her heart the Lord will take care of this young lady who is having to grow up so fast.
"I Want to be Happy Again" 4
A woman told me, "I'm a Christian... I'm a disciple of Jesus Christ" but she said she had been depressed and taking antidepressants for over 30 years. She said, "I used to think you won't get depressed if you're a Christian" and "I didn't believe in mental illness" until I got depressed. I asked questions about her background and how her depression began and learned that her mother-in-law died when she was 29 years old and then a baby niece died a year later when she was pregnant with her daughter, and this is when her depression began. She told me that her doctor said she had postpartem depression but I explained that 87% of all depression is rooted in losses and that her depression was probably connected to these losses. Then I explained how she could resolve her losses and she became hopeful and said, "I want to be normal and enjoy things I used to enjoy. I want to be happy again." She said that her greatest sadness at this time was about her mother who died three years ago. She told me that her mother was her closest friend and she missed talking with her all the time, taking care of her, and visiting her in the nursing home. She also missed her sound advice, her encouragement, her positive attitude, laughing and joking with her at the kitchen table, and her sense of humor. We made a list of 15 things she missed about her mother and then we prayed and she told the Lord what she missed about her, then she asked Him to take her grief and carry it for her. I prayed again and asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted her to know and the only thought that came to her mind was, "She doesn't have to struggle to breathe anymore." "So, how do you feel now as you think about your mother," I asked. She said, "I do feel peaceful." I encouraged her to try to stir up her sadness and grief and she tried but said again, "I do feel better." She said she had no sadness or grief. I asked her what she thought about this and she said, "It's so simple; it's amazing to know the Bible teaches us to give everything to Him. I really am hopeful." This woman had felt hopeless about her depression for 30 years and never thought she would feel good or be happy again but after experiencing peace about the loss of her mother she felt hopeful and happy again. As she continues to pray about her other losses her depression will go away and she will be able to feel normal again; I see this happen all the time. It's sad that so many Christians live with depression like this woman and have believed the lies of the enemy that there is no hope because she was told by her doctor that she had a chemical imbalance. But we have the "God of hope" who wants to "fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit" (Romans 15:13).
Grief Released Three Days after Loss Grief 5
A woman told me she had used drugs for many years until she went back to church. She said that she knew that she was saved, but she still had so much anxiety and depression that she was unable to hold a job. She said that she even went to counseling for five years and took psychiatric medications but they were not helping her. Then her father died three days before we met and she was isolating herself from others and couldn't quit crying. She said, "I feel like I'm losing my mind." I learned that she had a long history of physical and sexual abuse that contributed to her depression and anxiety, and even though she was a Christian she could not find freedom from these overpowering emotions.
I shared with this woman how she could be set free from her anger, grief, and shame through prayer and she was very receptive to this. Even though she said she was saved and her father was saved and she was confident that he was in heaven and "walking on the streets of gold" she felt shameful and unworthy of God's love so she felt unable to ask God for anything. I prayed and asked the Lord what He wanted her to know about that and she said, "That's not true; I am worthy and He loves me." Those feelings of shame were immediately released and then I asked her what she missed about her father. She said she was afraid to release her grief because she would lose her father if she released her grief. I prayed and asked the Lord if that was true and she immediately said "That's not true." Then she began to talk about her father and how she missed hearing his voice, his strength, and the feeling of safety and protection he gave her. She also missed his love and affection, gardening with him, going to church with him, and seeing his big, strong hands. She identified 20 things she missed about him then she prayed and asked the Lord to take all her grief and sadness and carry it for her. After the prayer she took a deep breath and said she felt calm and peaceful. I asked her what she thought about this and she said, "That's amazing!"
Three days after the loss of her father she released her grief and felt peaceful. This woman entered my office feeling like she was losing her mind, but she left smiling and feeling peaceful and hopeful after experiencing God's deliverance from her grief. Five more years of counseling and medications could not do what the Lord did in 30 minutes of prayer. Only the Lord can set people free from such emotional bondage because He is the the Prince of Peace and the Wonderful Counselor! We Will Meet on that
I Can't Believe How Good I Feel 6
A Christian woman told me that she had been depressed since age 8 when she was molested and she had been taking antidepressants for the last ten years but she was still depressed. As a child she had been molested by five different people and she had been through four marriages and divorces and was abused by three of her husbands. She had at least ten significant losses and was angry at a dozen people who had harmed her significantly but when I asked her what was the most painful event in her life she stated that it was the loss of her maternal grandparents.
I shared with her how to overcome her grief through prayer and she was eager to do it. The first step is to be honest about your loss and to make a list of what you miss about the person. She talked about her grandfather and how she missed sitting in his lap and studying the Bible, which made her tearful to remember. She missed his unconditional love, his protectiveness, being his favorite grandchild, his joking and laughter, going places with him in his truck, and seeing him in his gray cowboy hat. She said she missed going to his house, drawing water from their well, and putting wood in the pot-bellied stove. She talked about how much she missed her grandma's cooking, going to her for comfort when she cried, going to their house every Sunday for dinner, and enjoying spending Christmas and Thanksgiving at their house. We made a list of 26 things she missed about her grandparents.
This was the first step to freedom. The second step is to pray and ask the Lord to take your grief and carry it for you. She prayed and asked the Lord to take all her grief from her and carry it for her. After this prayer I asked her how she felt. She said she just felt peace "like a weight lifted off my shoulders; I can breathe." She said, "I feel much better. I know he's in heaven and out of pain" and she said that she had never been able to go to their gravesite but now she thought she would like to do that. She rated her depression as a 2, on a 10-point scale and as she left she said, "Oh, my gosh! I can't believe how good I feel!" The Lord lifted her grief that she had carried for 35 years and her depression, which she had since childhood, was almost gone! What an awesome God we have who heals the brokenhearted!
Set Free from Suicidal Urges 7
A young man came to me for help. He said that three weeks earlier he sat alone in his apartment, with a gun to his head. He had been depressed previously since about age 17 because he felt lonely and was alone a lot. But since the death of his stepfather two years earlier he had felt more depressed and his mother had begun drinking heavily. One night he was so depressed that he got drunk and seriously contemplated killing himself, but he did not give in to those urges. He later told his mother about this and she told his boss, who told him to get some help. I explained how to be set free from grief by being completely honest about his losses and listing everything he missed about the person, then giving it all to the Lord. He said that his stepfather was a good Christian man who always took him to church and he was receptive to the concept of giving his grief to the Lord through prayer.
He said that his stepfather was “really good” to him and was a calming influence on his mother and himself. This young man felt loved and happy around his stepdad who helped him develop good study and work habits. He missed being around him, hearing his voice, going on trips with him, learning from him, and watching TV with him. He missed his love and affection, working with him, going hunting and going to the gym with him, and learning how to manage his money from him. After listing 26 things he missed about his stepfather he asked the Lord to take his grief from him and carry it for him. I asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted this man to know and he said, “It’s going to be alright.” Then I asked him how he felt and he said, “Good. It feels like everything lifted. I feel safe. Everything is going to be fine.” He said that he even felt happy and relieved.
I asked if he had any other negative feelings and he said he felt sad because his stepfather suffered for three years, he deteriorated from being a very strong, capable man to being disabled and unable to walk. He was also sad because his family lost their closeness after his death and because he could no longer go to him for advice. The young man prayed again and gave these five reasons for his sadness to the Lord. I asked the Lord, again, if there was anything He wanted this man to know. He said, “It’s going to be alright.” I asked him how he felt and he said, “It’s all been expelled; there’s no more sadness.” When he left he was cheerful and smiling.
His burden had been lifted and all his depression and grief were gone. He had some other losses that he needed to resolve and he had some anger toward his biological father that he needed to release but the heavy depression and sadness were gone and he set an appointment to return. In less than an hour he released the deep grief that he had carried for two years and replaced it with God’s wonderful peace!
“I Believe in Miracles” 8
A woman told me how depressed she was and she had been taking psychiatric medications for a long time but she was still very depressed, and she looked depressed. I gathered background information to understand the origin of her depression and she told me that she was not depressed as a child but became depressed after her brother died twenty years earlier. We ran out of time so I did not have time to explain to her how to be set free.
When I saw her again I asked her how she was feeling and she said she felt better. I asked her how strong her depression was, on a 10-point scale, and she rated it a 9! She was still very depressed! I explained that 87% of all depression is rooted in grief and she had eight significant losses that contributed to her depression that began twenty years ago. So, I asked her which loss was the most difficult for her and she said it was the loss of her mother seven years ago. I asked her if she would like to get rid of her sadness and grief over this loss and she said she would. I explained how she could release her grief and sadness by identifying the specific things she missed about her mother, and then giving her grief to God by praying. She immediately said she was okay with this because she was a believer.
She told me how she missed seeing her mother and being with her, she missed talking with her, going to yard sales with her, and traveling with her. This woman said she missed her mother’s smile, her laughter, her honesty, and her goofiness. She recalled many good memories of her mother and she identified 22 things she missed about her then we prayed and she asked the Lord to take her grief and sadness from her. After praying I asked the Lord if there was anything He wanted her to know. She told me that she felt some relief immediately and she said, “I know she’s in a better place and I know I will see her again.” I asked her how that made her feel and she said, “It makes me feel wonderful!” I asked her how she felt now as she thought about her mother. She said, “I feel like a weight has been taken off me. I feel so relieved. I feel good! I can see her [in her mind] and I’m not crying.” She began smiling and then she laughed and her smile grew. I asked her what she thought about this prayer process. She said, “I believe in miracles. I just never thought about praying about what I missed about her.” She told me that she was surprised at how quickly her grief left her and she said, “God is the reason I’m here because I did not want to come this morning but He made me go.”
When she left the room she still had a huge smile on her face in stark contrast to how she looked when she entered. God does do miracles and every time I see people relieved from years of grief and depression I know it is a miracle because nothing this world has to offer can set you free from grief like this. This woman was right; God still does miracles today!
What did you do? That’s Crazy! 9
A young lady came to me for help with her depression. She said that she had been depressed her whole life, since age 11 when her father died. She was raised by her grandparents most of her life because her parents were drug addicts but she did love her parents and her father’s death was hard for her. For two years she lived with her mother after she quit using drugs and she became very close to her, but then when she was 15 years old her mother died. This was extremely traumatic to her and made her more depressed but then three years later her only brother died. Her grandparents were still living but they were not close to her like her parents. I shared with this young lady how she could be set free from her grief by being completely honest and making a list of what she missed about each person, and then praying and giving her grief to the Lord. She was very receptive to this and said she would do that on her own before our next session.
The next time I saw her she had not prayed on her own and she asked for help with it. I asked her what she missed about her mother. She said she missed smelling her mother’s perfume, holding her rough hands, seeing her beautiful, long, curly hair and her soft, dark-complected skin, and hearing her voice. She missed her mother calling her “Baby Doll,” she missed her goofiness and sense of humor, her cooking, and her mother holding her when she was upset. She missed talking to her about everything, being her best friend, telling her about her father, and telling her five or six times that she loved her before she went to bed. She also missed shopping with her, going on trips together, watching TV together, listening to music, and just being with her. She identified 32 things she missed about her mother and then she prayed and told the Lord these things and asked Him to take her grief and sadness from her. I asked her how she felt and she said, “I feel better; peaceful.” Then she motioned with her hands and said, “I feel it was lifted from me!” She broke into a big smile and said, “What did you do? That’s crazy!”
We talked about how simple it was to release her grief and she was smiling and ecstatic. Before she left I asked her one more time how she felt, now. She smiled real big and said, “Happy! When I think about it, it’s all smiles!” What a tragic thing it is for a young person like this to lose both parents and their siblings. Anyone can understand how this could lead to depression but the Lord is able to take away all our sadness and grief and depression and replace it with His peace because He is the “Prince of Peace” and the “Wonderful Counselor!” He will take your grief and sadness and depression, too, if you will give it all to Him and ask Him to carry it for you. “Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows” (Isaiah 53:4).
Girl Prays on Own to Release Grief 10
A girl was brought to me after her parents learned that she had suicidal thoughts and had been cutting on herself. She was very pleasant and did not appear depressed but admitted that she had suicidal thoughts. I gathered background information on her to identify the source of her depression and she disclosed that she had eleven significant losses in the last ten years. I explained to her and her parents that 87% of all depression is rooted in losses and asked her which loss was the most troubling to her.
She told me that the loss of her maternal grandmother a year ago was the most painful to her. I shared with this young lady, and her parents, how she could get rid of her grief by making a list of the things she missed about her grandmother and then praying and asking God to take it from her and carry it for her. She believed in God and went to church but was uncomfortable with the idea of praying with me so I told her she could do this by herself at home. I set up an appointment to see her again the next day due to her admission that she was having suicidal thoughts. When she came the next day I asked her how she was doing and she said she had a good evening and had no more urges to cut herself, and she was not depressed. I asked why she felt better and she said she did what I suggested and made a list of the things she missed about her grandmother. She pulled out the list and showed it to me and she had written out 23 things she missed. She said she prayed to God and asked Him to take away her grief and she immediately felt better, slept well, and felt no more sadness. She did all this on her own!
I asked her who else she missed a lot and she told me she missed her maternal grandfather. She agreed to let me help her make a list of things she missed about him and she identified twenty things she missed about him. She told me how she missed fishing with him, camping with him, watching TV with him, and sitting on the porch watching nature with him. She also missed his love and affection for her, his big smile when she entered the room, his sense of humor, and sitting on his lap with her puppy while watching TV. I asked her if she would be willing to let me lead her in a prayer to give all her sadness to the Lord and this time she gave me permission. She prayed and gave all her grief to Him and then said she felt “a lot better.” She told me that she actually felt happy! Since she was feeling so good I set up a session for the following week.
When she returned the next week she said she still felt “a lot better” and had no suicidal thoughts or urges to cut herself in the last week. Her parents were thrilled and amazed at how much her mood had changed. We prayed some more, this time about her anger toward her biological father and some grief over the loss of an aunt who died. She received complete healing for these painful emotions and when she told her parents how she had prayed about her father and felt no more anger or sadness they were even more excited. They are all amazed at the greatness of God to set her free from her destructive impulses!
Prayer Versus Meds and Grief Counseling 11
A woman came to me for help with her depression. She had been taking antidepressants for three years since her father had died, but they were not helping much; she was still very depressed. I asked her if she had ever had any counseling and she said that she received some grief counseling from a pastor but said it didn’t help either. I asked this woman when she first became depressed and she told me it was three years ago when her father died. She had never had any depression previously and she had no other mental health issues previously. She grew up in a Christian home with a mother who was loving and affectionate and was actively involved in her church. Her father was an alcoholic and was mean to her mother when drunk, but he never mistreated this woman. She never used drugs or alcohol and she remained married to the same man for 34 years.
When her father died she became depressed, then a year later her brother died, and the following year she went through a divorce, and her mother developed Alzheimer’s and now she doesn’t even know her daughter. These were four significant losses in the last four years. I shared with this woman how she could overcome her grief by two simple steps: First, she needed to be honest about her grief and make a list of what she missed about the person. Second, she needed to tell the Lord what she missed about the person and ask Him to take her grief from her.
She told me that the loss of her brother was the most difficult for her because he was her lifelong friend. She talked about watching football with him every Sunday, going fishing with him and playing tetherball and basketball with him, walking to school with him, staying up late at night and watching TV together and eating, and many other activities they enjoyed together. She said she missed his calm, easy-going personality, his funny, witty sense of humor, and talking to him on the phone. She missed spending the holidays with him and him helping her in the kitchen. She identified 17 things she missed about him and then prayed and asked the Lord to take her grief and sadness from her. After we prayed I asked her how she felt and she smiled and said she missed him but the sadness and grief were gone.
Taking medications for three years and getting grief counseling did not help her with this grief, but a few minutes of prayer did. She agreed to make a list of what she missed about her father and try to release that on her own. After she releases these four losses her depression will lift and she will be able to wean herself slowly off her medications. It’s awesome to see the Lord set people free from grief and depression. Medications are very ineffective, at best, and at worst they can lead to suicidal thoughts and violence. Grief counseling is also very ineffective, according to the leading researchers in the field, but grief is the cause of 87% of all depression. Praise God that He heals the brokenhearted and sets the captives without dangerous medications.
I feel Kind of Drunk or High 12
A woman came for help with her anxiety, depression, and drinking. As a child she was sexually abused and after a serious accident at age 16 she began having panic attacks and began taking a strong anti-anxiety medication. She got married at age 18 but he divorced her when she was 22 years old and this led her to become depressed and to begin taking antidepressants and to drinking.
After six abusive marriages and painful divorces and receiving several DUIs she was desperate for help and she took Antabuse to help her quit drinking. She had been sober for several months when I first saw her and she said she was reading her Bible every day and praying a lot to try to stay sober. She had a long list of losses and sources of anger and I explained to her how she could be set free by making a list of the reasons for her anger or grief toward each person on her list, and then praying and asking the Lord to take her anger and grief from her. She was very receptive to trying this and said that she would like to get rid of her grief over the loss of her first husband.
Not only had she lost him when they divorced, but he was brutally murdered several years later. She talked about what a good man he was, how he was so loving and good to her, how he was such a good father to their son, and how he was always laughing and smiling. She missed their friendship, spending time with his family, fishing with him, going for walks with him, and going to church with him. She identified sixteen things she missed about her husband then she prayed and asked the Lord to take her grief from her. I prayed and asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted her to know. She instantly began crying and said, “I know it’s from Him. He said it’s not my fault that he died, I am a good person, I’m not bad.” She said, “That’s huge! That took so much off my chest!” She began smiling and when I asked her how she felt she said, “My chest is not heavy anymore. It’s almost a high, like I took an Ativan pill. That’s unreal!” She continued exclaiming, “I thought I would always feel that pain. Now, I can giggle over him. I can see his smile. I feel kind of drunk or high!”
This woman had carried this pain for over twenty years and the sudden release of all her grief and sadness over her first husband lifted her spirits and filled her with joy. She left with peace and joy in her heart, and excitement about how the Lord had so suddenly removed her emotional pain and grief. She will need more praying and healing to be completely set free from her past but this was an awesome first step for her to show her how the Lord can set her completely free as she continues to pray and cast all her cares upon Him.
Grief Released over Alzheimers Victim 13
A woman came for help with her depression which she developed after going through a divorce. She had previously released grief over the loss of her father and brother and her depression dropped from a rating of 8 to 3, on a 10-point scale, so she was doing much better. However, she also was sad and depressed about her mother's declining health since she was diagnosed with Alzheimers. She had always been very close to her mother, especially since her father was an alcoholic who became abusive when he was drunk, but her mother was loving to her and took her to church. Her mother had a beautiful voice and often sang in church and weddings. Three years earlier she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and her condition deteriorated very rapidly so that now her mother does not even recognize her, although she smiles and waves at her when she arrives, but she does this with everyone. We discussed how she has already lost her mother even though she is still alive, because she is not the person she was. I asked her what she missed about her mother and she told me how she missed watching TV with her and football games, she missed her cooking, shopping with her, talking with her, and receiving phone calls from her every day. She also missed fishing with her, picking wild flowers with her, going to visit her grandmother, and laughing together. She identified 18 things she missed about her mother. We had prayed previously about other losses and she understood that this was the first step toward releasing her grief, to make a list of everything she missed about her. The second step is to give her grief to the Lord by telling Him what she misses about her mother and then asking Him to take it from her and carry it for her. She gave her grief to the Lord and then identified three things that made her sad about her mother's condition and gave them to the Lord, also. Afterwards, I asked her to think about her mother and tell me how she felt. She said, "She doesn't know who I am but I know who she is and all I can do is show her love." I asked her, again, how she felt and she said, "I feel better. I miss her but I will do more with her now. I feel a lot better." I asked her to rate her depression again, and she rated it as a 1, on a 10-point scale. Her depression was completely gone after releasing her sadness and grief over the loss of her mother to Alzheimer's. It's a very sad thing to watch a loved family member deteriorate physically and lose their personality and memory due to a medical condition like this, and it can lead to depression, but the Lord can take that grief and carry it for you as you learn to cast all your cares upon Him.
Pastor Grief Counseling Fails 14
A woman came to me for help with her depression. She had been taking antidepressants for three years since her father had died, but they were not helping much; she was still very depressed. I asked her if she had ever had any counseling and she said that she received some grief counseling from a pastor but said it didn’t help either. This is not to fault the pastor because grief counseling doesn't work and routine prayer does not work either, but the knowledge of a simple, effective way to help people overcome grief is very available to pastors in this area. According to a 2003 "Report on Bereavement and Grief Research" that was written by 23 of the top researchers in the field of grief counseling, nothing helps resolve grief and subsequent studies have failed to provide any significant hope in the field of grief counseling.
In 2002 I learned a very simple, prayer-based way to help people overcome grief through prayer, and I learned this from a Pastoral Counselor. I have tried for five years to share this with pastors and Christians in my county and some Christians have learned how to do it very effectively. What amazes me is that all pastors do not jump at this and teach it in their churches to help church members deal with their grief. I have been doing seminars for five years and writing stories each month in a local monthly newsletter, but very few pastors come to the seminars or teach this powerful prayer process to their congregations.
This woman said she first became depressed three years ago when her father died. She had never had any depression previously and she had no other mental health issues previously. She grew up in a Christian home with a mother who was loving and affectionate and was actively involved in her church. Her father was an alcoholic and was unkind to her mother when drunk, but he never mistreated this woman. She never used drugs or alcohol and she remained married to the same man for 34 years. When her father died she became depressed, then a year later her brother died, and the following year her mother developed serious health problems, and she lost contact with her grandson. These were four significant losses in the last four years that led to her depression, so I began praying with her about each of these losses. I shared with this woman how she could overcome her grief by two simple steps: First, she needed to be honest about her grief and make a list of what she missed about the person. Second, she needed to tell the Lord what she missed about the person and ask Him to take her grief from her.
We first talked about her brother and she identified 17 things she missed about him and then prayed and asked the Lord to take her grief and sadness from her. After we prayed I asked her how she felt and she smiled and said she missed him but the sadness and grief were gone. Taking medications for three years and getting grief counseling did not help her with this grief, but a few minutes of prayer did. It doesn't take a mental health professional to do this; in fact, secular counselors cannot show clients how to overcome grief and do not believe it is even possible. We met again and talked about this woman's loss of contact with her 3-year-old grandson and she identified 16 things she missed about her grandson and 5 reasons for her sadness. She prayed and gave this grief and sadness to the Lord, and she felt much better.
We then prayed about the loss of her father and she identified 15 things she missed about him and four reasons for some sadness. Afterwards, she told me that she felt better and had no more grief or sadness or guilt. She said, "I miss him but I remember all the good times." Then in another session we talked about her mother and she identified 18 things that saddened her about her mother's health and she gave this sadness to the Lord. The next time I saw her she said that she still visits her mother but that she used to cry when she left her, but now she enjoys seeing her and leaves feeling peaceful and happy. I asked her to rate her depression again, and she told me that she was doing well and felt no depression.
The Lord has set this woman free from her four losses and after just five prayer sessions set her free from her depression. We are being told by medical professionals that depression is a "brain disorder" or a "chemical imbalance" but research has shown that 87% of all depression is rooted in loss. When people learn to pray about their emotions and give them to the Lord, they will be set free from their grief and most depression without the use of any dangerous or ineffective medications. Praise God that He heals the brokenhearted and sets emotional captives free through prayer.
Twenty-four Years of Grief Released 15
A woman told me that she had been depressed for 24 years, since the death of the grandfather, and had been taking antidepressants for 24 years. But in spite of her medications she was still very depressed and she had many other signficant losses that compounded her problems and increased her depression. I shared with her how she could resolve these losses through prayer and she was eager to try it.
She explained to me that her father had left her mother and her grandfather lived with them when she was very young. He spent time with her, talked with her, spoiled her, and sat with her in their back yard "watching the weeds grow." She enjoyed coming home from school and being greeted by him, while her mother was working, and they watched baseball games together. She missed watching movies with him, hearing his voice and laughter, and he taught her how to drive and bought her first car for her. She also missed his love and affection and hearing him call her by her nickname. As she talked about him she cried, as the memories surfaced. After she identified 25 things she missed about him, I led her in a prayer and she told the Lord what she missed about her grandfather, and she asked the Lord to take her grief from her. She cried through the entire prayer, then I asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted her to know. All that she said was "I keep hearing him laughing and talking" and she said she felt good.
But she also said she felt "regret." I asked her what she regretted and she said, "He remarried and moved away, he was unhappy there and he gave up, he died while he was gone and I never got to tell him how much I loved him, and he never got to see my kids grow up." These were feelings of sadness that she had, rather than regrets, so I led her in a prayer and she wept through the prayer and then gave her sadness to the Lord. Again, I asked the Lord what He wanted her to know, and she said, "I remember that I learned at his funeral that he received my letters telling him about my kids and he enjoyed reading them, and he knew that I loved him. I asked this woman how she felt while thinking about her grandfather. She had already quit crying and she said that she felt cam and peaceful. We spoke a few minutes after that and she began smiling, and when she left my office she was calm and cheerful.
The Lord set her free from this loss after a few minutes of prayer, after being depressed over this loss and taking antidepressants for 24 years. It is normal to feel grief, even deep grief, for a period of time after we lose a loved one, but He does not want us to remain in that state for long. He wants to carry our burdens for us and to give us His peace. He said, "Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you" (John 14:27). The world cannot give us this type of peace; it comes only from Him.